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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

11 month old whining constantly

19 replies

Historygirl97 · 05/04/2017 12:32

Posting here for traffic!

My son is 11 months old (almost 1) and the last two weeks has been a completely different child!

He's usually so happy and playful and independent but now it's like he has had a personality switch!

He won't let me put him down without screaming the house down, he doesn't like to be held unless I'm standing. He is refusing naps, food and isn't sleeping well during the night.
He screams murder if I put him in his buggy or car seat.

It's getting really down because I want him to be happy Sad

(I do not agree with cry it out or controlled crying btw!)

Thanks in advance for any help!

OP posts:
glueandstick · 05/04/2017 12:33

They all do that sir :(

Camomila · 05/04/2017 12:42

Could he be starting to get some molars in? My almost 1 year old has also been irritable these last few weeks, teething granules seem to help as well as giving him crunchy things like cream crackers and bits of baguette to bite.

QuiteChic · 05/04/2017 12:47

I am curious - why do you not agree with controlled crying etc ?

Doublevodkaredbull · 05/04/2017 12:58

Teething, ear infection, cold?

Birdofathousandvoices · 05/04/2017 13:12

I'd say ear infection from experience! Or something else u can't see, sore throat maybe.

Original poster
Historygirl97 · 05/04/2017 13:14

Sorry if this counts as a dripfeed but we have been to the doctors and no ear infection or any other illness and he already has his molars Sad

OP posts:
Stormtreader · 05/04/2017 13:15

Could he have some reflux if he wants to be held upright all the time?

Original poster
Historygirl97 · 05/04/2017 13:17

I'm just not keen on it... I prefer to try and do 'gentle parenting' as such.
Besides hearing him cry in distress would make me cry!

But I have nothing against anyone else that does do it!

OP posts:
Original poster
Historygirl97 · 05/04/2017 13:18

He doesn't mind laying down as long as I'm standing and waking with him x

OP posts:
LouBlue1507 · 05/04/2017 13:23

What do you do when he cries?
If he doesn't eat his food do you give him something else?
If he wants to be held, do you Cary him?
If doesn't want to be in the pushchair, do you get him out?

It sounds to me like he's testing the boundaries and if your pandering to every whim them of course he's going to continue with this behaviour.

A lot of people don't know how much a one year old understands and how clever they can be!

PuntCuffin · 05/04/2017 13:24

Has there been a recent change in routine? New job or return to work? Anything in the household been changed to provide a specific explanation?

A lot of babies get separation anxiety around a year old as they start to identify that they are a separate person from their mother. So it is a normal developmental event. It does get better in the end, but yes, it can be challenging.

I also preferred not to use methods involving crying, lots of people do. But, if it is just so you can go to the loo or something, then no harm will come from a few minutes of crying. In fact, crying for a few minutes and then seeing you come back may well help him learn that you leaving the room is ok because you do come back again.

roses2 · 05/04/2017 13:30

Mine was like this at the end of last year (around 10 months). I went back to work, sent him to nursery and he is really happy now (as am I)!

ViveLesVacances · 05/04/2017 13:43

Is it a whiney, noisey cry? As in it doesn't sound distressed?

Maybe it's simply a growth spurt. All of mine seem to come over clinging and whingey when they hit a growth spurt.

Original poster
Historygirl97 · 05/04/2017 16:09

It's not distressed crying at all. It just makes me feel bad because it makes me feel like I'm failing as a mum :(

But yes (and I have no idea how to do bold or tag) LouBlue, I do tend to pander to him i.e. Carry him around as he hates the buggy!

OP posts:
QuiteChic · 05/04/2017 16:40

Has he started to try and crawl or roll over ? Or perhaps he's started babbling, but expects you to understand. If he's quite an advanced baby it could just be frustration at not being able to get to the next step (as it were).

I hate to say this outloud and will probably get flamed, but you do realise that if you're pandering to a nearly one year old, when they get to the tantrum stage your life will probably be hell.

Original poster
Historygirl97 · 05/04/2017 16:54

He can crawl, roll and walk! He also can say a collection of words such as dog, cat, mum, dad, etc.
It could possibly be frustration.
I know it will be awful so I do want to correct his behaviour before then but I don't want to distress him by leaving him to cry about it.
(I also get worried about what people may think while I'm out and about if he's screaming) Sad

OP posts:
DonkeyOaty · 05/04/2017 17:03

It does sound like separation anxiety as you've ruled out the usual suspects. It's not pandering to him to fulfil his want to be close to you, and carrying him isn't a bad thing (I'll bet 'someone' has told you you'll 'spoil' him)

Have you a sling? That might help.

Good luck - it doesn't last forever.

Original poster
Historygirl97 · 05/04/2017 20:28

I haven't got a sling but that's a really good idea!
Thank you very much!

OP posts:
innagazing · 05/04/2017 20:50

Is he perhaps getting more hungry than you think he is?

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