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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

For being like Miranda in Sex and the City

63 replies

kks · 08/03/2007 15:48

I think i'm like Miranda in Sex and the City, even my sister told me i am. I don't get the whole "mum" world. People say i should make friends with other people with babies as i only have one friend with one. I find it a bit sickly if you like about the whole thing and am becoming more and more sinicle everyday. I can't stand the thought of sitting round with other peoples babies talking mums talk. On the other hand i wish i could change my attitude and be social with mums. I need some of you to try and help me do that as my attitude only makes me unhappy.

OP posts:
TheDudAvocado · 08/03/2007 16:12

oh fgs. you are making a lot of assumptions about what everyone else does, aren't you?

Original poster
kks · 08/03/2007 16:13

I am very shy and just find it very hard talking to new people and make new friends. I didn't mean clique to sound like "clique" you know

OP posts:
TheDudAvocado · 08/03/2007 16:13

my dd likes the stone roses, kevin rowland adn girls aloud. and heads, shoulders, knees and toes.

compo · 08/03/2007 16:13

at 5 months it doesn't matter what you do with your baby.
at 15 months you will be singing nursery ryhmes too.

Original poster
kks · 08/03/2007 16:14

Well i don't know what everyone else does

OP posts:
Original poster
kks · 08/03/2007 16:15

Probably

OP posts:
TheDudAvocado · 08/03/2007 16:15

i KNEW it! (and i always suspected that was miranda's problem as well, y'know).
shy is fine, some of my best friends are shy. i like shy people, they're generally more honest and interesting. if anything, it's becasue they can't do the whole social veneer thing so well that makes them so.
you just have to be a wee bit brave and ask people to budge along a bit or ask if people are going for coffee afterwards. or at least that's what i do.

TeeCee · 08/03/2007 16:15

Whoops, am I not allowed to hae convos! Sozza. Been here 4 years kks, so got to 'know' people, but not the cliquey type.

Anyway - I shudder at the thought of NCT type coffee mornings and being forced into being chatty with mums who I have nothing in common with other than we both expelled a child from our nunnys!

However I loved doing antenatal tyope yoga - for ME, i loved taking DD to massage classes, just made me sit down at least once a week and massage oil into her little newborn limbs, YUM, I love taking her swimming, she's a nutter and goes mad with excitemnenmt. Once swimming course is over I might take her to something musical once a week. Something I'll enjoy and there'll just ahppen to be a bunch of strangers there also woith kids, probaly of a similar age and one or 2 of them might be worth shooting the breexe with and possibly I might 'click' enough with a person that we go for coffee, but proably not cos Ihave enough mates and don't really have room/time for other people in my life!

batters · 08/03/2007 16:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

oranges · 08/03/2007 16:16

kks, you sound like I was, and still am, actually (ds is now 11 months) but you basically need to see other people as people, not as 'mums' who 'only' want to talk about babies. And if you don't like one group, try another one, or find another way to gain intellectual stimulation and friendship. why do you feel unhappy?

oranges · 08/03/2007 16:17

p.s. sorry to teecee and compo, it was an observation more than a criticism that just made me smile. As you were.

TeeCee · 08/03/2007 16:19

Oranges - I really didn't take it in a bad way at all, I so know it was just you observing and smiling, so was I

compo · 08/03/2007 16:21

nor me

Aloha · 08/03/2007 16:23

Hmmm...I think you feel lonely and a bit scared so are being aggressive to cover it up. It's normal to feel as if your confidence is a bit dented when you have a baby and to find it hard to make new friends. Remember, you are a 'mum' - are you boring?

Original poster
kks · 08/03/2007 16:26

yes i am boring but i never said mums were boring

OP posts:
TheDudAvocado · 08/03/2007 16:27

oh sweetheart. i'm sure you're not boring...
bored, maybe?

Original poster
kks · 08/03/2007 16:28

You are right i am shy and honest, maybe a bit too much for my own good. I would like to have friends but i am weary cause whenever i have gotten close to people before they have shit all over me

OP posts:
Original poster
kks · 08/03/2007 16:29

Bored, yeah i am.

OP posts:
TeeCee · 08/03/2007 16:30

Where in the world are you kks?

KezzaG · 08/03/2007 16:31

kks you sound really down. If you dont fancy the whole mum and baby thing fine, but if you have willing babysitters could you just arrange a night out so you can remember what it feels like to be you again?

Original poster
kks · 08/03/2007 16:31

The people at the under 1s are fine, i think i am abit of a loner actually. That don't sound good does it

OP posts:
Original poster
kks · 08/03/2007 16:31

I am in England

OP posts:
Original poster
kks · 08/03/2007 16:33

I did go out down town last month and i just didn't enjoy it. I found the whole seen boring and since having the baby my view of certain stuff have changed.

OP posts:
KezzaG · 08/03/2007 16:38

the more you write the more it sounds like this is more than the HV annoying you about going to baby groups.

Are you happy at the moment? What would make you happy? Do you enjoy being with your baby or would you like some adult company in the day?

sorry I sound a bit Trisha but I hate it when someone sounds so miserable when they should be out and about and enjoying their baby.

Im off for a bit now so wont reply for a while.

TeeCee · 08/03/2007 16:39

Whereabout is England? Are you remote village or London / city?