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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To pull out of a house purchase at the last minute?

54 replies

MonsterBingo · 05/04/2017 09:51

We are about to exchange on our house purchase and sale. Before this house we saw our dream house but we hadn't sold our one yet and someone else snapped it up. We found this house which we really like but not quite as much as the first one.

Now, you guessed it, the first one is back on the market as their buyer pulled out. It feels very wrong to pull out at the last minute but on the other hand, would you let the house you prefer go, just to not upset a few people?

God, I hate this process!

OP posts:

loveka · 05/04/2017 11:16

You have to remember all the money you are costing people. Probably the same as you have paid out. Also, people may lose the house they are buying because the chain collapses.

This recently happened to us the day before exchange and it was really horrible. The people we are buying from lost the house they were buying. It was their dream house and they had spent money on surveys etc.

Although I accept that our system allows this, it really is a pretty shitty thing to do. I think maybe people should really be sure they want a house before offering on it.

Original poster

MonsterBingo · 05/04/2017 11:38

We have made an appointment to look at the house. The EA said that the buyer pulled out because of personal reasons and there was nothing wrong with the surveys etc.

I agree that the system is rubbish. I'm not convinced I want to pull out at this stage but do feel we should have another look at the 'dream' house.

Just to clarify, we are not currently in a chain. Our buyer wouldn't lose out because we are still selling, and the house we are currently are planning to buy is not part of a further chain. So it would mainly be us that is losing out financially.

OP posts:

Goldfishjane · 05/04/2017 12:14

If the person whose house you're due to exchange on can't now move for ages then they suffer.
I dunno, maybe my perspective is skewed because I don't believe in dream house but I appreciate if you are very well off it is probably a thing.

ForTheSakeOfFuck · 05/04/2017 12:20

I think taking a long, honest, critical look at dream house is your best way forward. It doesn't commit you either way but it should help you to see whether you really do still adore it as much on a second viewing, and that pulling out of the current deal is best, or you might see some things now that actually make you realise it's not so dreamy as originally thought. Either is useful.

If it helps at all, if your current purchase is not a chain, they shouldn't struggle too hard to pick up another buyer, so you shouldn't feel too badly for them. (It's still not nice morally, but a house is the biggest purchase you'll ever make.) Conversely, if you are heading into a chain-purchase, that brings shed-loads of migraines all of its own. It could put you back months if the rest of the chain has ditherers and hiccups in it. Just things to think about.

Astro55 · 05/04/2017 12:24

You do need to view - and as you say you will still be selling yours so your buyer don't lose out - and the empty property haven't spent any money on other things

But it's where you prefer that matters - and you are in a good position

PinkFlamingo545 · 05/04/2017 12:27

I would definitely go at least look at dream house.

I know pulling out at last minute is a tad 'impolite' but people pull out of house purchases all the time

Littlechip · 05/04/2017 12:28

I did exactly this. If I hadn't I would have always regretted it, while living within sight of my dream house.

PollytheDolly · 05/04/2017 13:09

Look at dream house and actually really really look for faults and negatives to it. Sometimes it can be a dream house because you lost out on it. Keep us updated!

Would love to see rightmove links to dream house if at all possible

thenewaveragebear1983 · 05/04/2017 14:29

You might lose your buyer though- they think they're exchanging this week. You're about to potentially tell them they need to wait another 6 weeks (at least).

I'm not saying you shouldn't go for the dream house- I agree you might always regret it. But, you might not get it, and you might lose your buyer, and you are also decreasing your 'currency' as a buyer because the EA will know that you changed your mind, pulled out etc etc. If I had two offers to choose from, that would affect my decision to choose you in future. I think these are all consequences of the decision you make- but if it really is your dream house then you should go for it, but accept the consequences.

bumbleymummy · 05/04/2017 14:47

I think you're doing the right thing by looking at it again. Even if it's just to give your DH closure.

Elphame · 05/04/2017 15:09

How would you feel if you are days away from exchange on your "dream house" and your own buyer pulled out? Our system is horrible.

Goldfishjane · 05/04/2017 15:11

Yes our system is horrible
In Scotland I think this isn't allowed?
You probably won't even remember the so called dream house if you continue with the current buy.

TreeTop7 · 05/04/2017 15:34

It's risky. You might not end up getting it, for whatever reason.The EA might not have been honest about the reason for the collapse of the sale. You might end up with neither house to buy and a reputation for being unreliable. You could lose your buyer if you have nowhere to go.

It might feel like a risk worth taking. You will have more perspective after the viewing I suspect. Let us know!

TheVeryHungryDieter · 05/04/2017 15:46

I would pull out. And I did, last year, about a week before exchange when we'd spent nearly a year trying to buy our purchase already - we'd had two buyers on our end fall through and struggled to sell.

There were issues that cropped up with the purchase, and our latest sale was taking forever but we were still going ahead until the seller got fed up and demanded more money as a thank-you for waiting. We thought about it for a day or two, said no to paying extra on the Friday, went to view a rental on Saturday and pulled out on the Monday morning.

We later bought the rental and I have no regrets, although I still feel very bad for our old seller, it's only the slightly sour postscript to what is otherwise a massive outpouring of relief.

Original poster

MonsterBingo · 05/04/2017 18:18

Thank you everyone for your feedback. After some discussion and finding out that there is a big chain involved in the other property, we have decided that it is too risky to pull out as we do not want to lose the current property.

OP posts:

bumbleymummy · 05/04/2017 18:21

Glad you made a decision. Hopefully your DH can move on now. Happy packing! :)

ApproachingATunnel · 05/04/2017 18:29

What happens if you pull out of current purchase but end up outbidden by someone else on 'dream home'? Who said that can't happen? You might end up not getting any of the 2, are you ok with that?

Also, any way to find out why dream home is back on the market?

ApproachingATunnel · 05/04/2017 18:30

Oh i just saw your last update. I think you made the right decision!

Finola1step · 05/04/2017 18:35

I think you've made a very sensible choice. No harm in sitting down together though and making a list of things you both really liked about the other house that you could replicate in the house you are buying.

Jayfee · 05/04/2017 18:42

bird in the hand

Sillymummy81 · 05/04/2017 18:45

I've been on the receiving end of this. Our seller pulled out the morning of exchange and did a complete runner. No one could get hold of him for weeks (took forever to find out what had gone on via neighbours and rumours). I was two weeks away from giving birth on day of supposed exchange. I hated him with a passion and was tempted to go and shit on his doorstep as it was our dream house (we also lost our buyer in the process as they wouldn't wait while we found another and ended up 10k worse off as he market changed so quickly). However, if it was the other way around I have to admit I'd have done the same and I still hate the fact we are not living in our dream house (we're just around the corner which makes it harder!). As much as it will be awful for them, a house purchase is too big to just 'make do'. But please- please PLEASE, don't just disappear, let the other chain know you are very, very sorry to pull out at such a late stage. All I wanted was an apology or an acknowledgement of what he'd done and how he'd made me feel. Good luck whatever you decide. And as others have posted- it's a gamble- no guarantees you'll get an offer accepted, they may decide not to sell, there may be massive issues found at surveys etc so it's a big decisions

ForTheSakeOfFuck · 05/04/2017 18:49

Something to consider is that the purchasers may have pulled out of the sale because they discovered something about the house that's been a deal breaker. The EA is never likely to volunteer this information. "Personal reasons" isn't technically a lie but it could mean "they found the portal to the fourth circle of hell in this house's box bedroom and didn't really fancy the expense of blocking it up".

sonyaya · 05/04/2017 18:53

I'm pleased you decided to proceed OP. You were happy with this house when the other 'dream' one wasn't available.

Legally you could have pulled out but it's a shitty shitty thing to do. People shouldn't make offers on houses unless they are sure that, subject to survey, they want to proceed.

littlemissM92 · 05/04/2017 18:53

Loveka couldn't agree more. We are days away from exchanging and I can barely sleep I'm so stressed with it all if someone pulled out now I would be heart broken along with another 4 people (big chain)

Wow2806 · 21/04/2017 18:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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