to be pissed off with DH's family over DS's birthday gifts?

[MamaG]

DS was 3 yesterday. They all sent cards and cheques.

I was a bit peed off as he was only 3 and its nice to get presents to actually open isn't it? I felt that they could have made a bit more effort. If he was 13, or even 8 or 9, money I'm sure would be very welcome to him and while I am grateful that they sent him something, I feel its a bit of a cop out.

wish i only go money at birthdays i have 3 children and everyone always buys the biggest nosiest toys on the market. have had to buy a new house with it's own playroom to accommodate all these toys most of them handle every played with as they just have too much. If i had money i would put it into their child trust fund for their further.

Money fine, IMO. Christmas is pressie time.

And until you get a dope smoking, barry white-warbling dancing rastafarian doll for a three year old, you really have NO room for complaint!

charlotte - at last a woman like me who only thinks about future investments and university fees not toys

I'm obviously a terribly ungrateful wretch

My sister does the besy of both.

DD birthday is a month after christmas, so she asked if it was ok to give dd money for her trust fund. Which she did but she also bought dd few little presents for her to unwrap.

Aw, I can understand you being fed up with that. At that age they don't understand the money idea and just love unwrapping presents, especially if they have toys inside.

Next time could you suggest they send money earlier and you get presents witht he money to wrap up from them?

Money always shows a lack of thought IMO. It really isn;t that hard to phone up in advance and ask the parent what a child might like.

yes hula, next year I think I'll ask for money in advance, thats the best idea I think.

(did the parcel arrived? Sorry they were a bit fusty!)

When DD does get money for her birthday, etc I never put it in her savings. It is her money to spend now. We sort out savings seperately. Each to their own, but to me money in a CTF isn't very exciting when you are 3!

Oh yes - did you not get my e-mail? In wash now; seeing sister this weekend. They're great thanks.

I buy ds all his clothes and know what toys to pick, that's why I don't object to money.

Why not set up a wishlist with Amsazon for DS. That way, if the relatives have computer access, they can pick something off it for him. That way, they don't have to go toy shopping with no idea what to get and DS gets something to open. I remember before we had DS, I had no clue what to get little kids. I'm kinda the same way with girls, not wanting to get something that may be too old or too young for them.

You can do wish lists on ELC too, and if you signb up for the birthday club you get a 20% discount code - which you can also forward to family and friends.

My mums brother (who has never married and has no children) ALWAYS gives my sons money for birthdays and Christmas (he does get them Easter eggs).
He has no idea what to get them, when my sister and I were little for birthdays he used to take us to the toy shop and say choose anything you want and for Christmas he would take my mom with him to get what we wanted, he always spoilt us (think because our dad died when we were young).
Although I did have to point out that my sons did not really need £50 each at birthdays and Christmas.

I think that if someone lives far away or has no idea then money can be a good thing.

My family transfer all their pressie money to my bank account a couple weeks in advance and I buy the pressies for my DS. Works well all round, the family don't feel like they got it wrong, I get my DS what I know he's been nagging for and is over the moon getting and I don't have to go round shops returning duplicates!!

I don't mind money at that age (although a couple of presents would be nice, or if they sent them in advance then you could buy and wrap something on their behalf? THis is what my inlaws do) as you can get what your DC really needs. However he is probably at the age where he likes opening parcels!

I do agree that for a 3 year old cheques/money aren't very exciting. I remember giving my nephew a cheque in his card once. He then said to BIL 'what's this', BIL said 'funny money' Have never done it again. Mind you for xmas this year BIL suggested vouchers for toys r us as nephews are older now and like to pick their own stuff.

I would appreciate money for my dd though as she always gets so much, which is lovely, but she doesn't need anything else and we are fast running out of room.Plus i love the idea of her getting to 18 and finding out she has savings and it will help towards her first car or something, IMO much better than some more toys now which she doesn't appreciate really as she has so much.

I think at a young age probably a token gift for dc to open (they don't know or care how much it costs) and give the parents some extra to put into savings for them is the best way to go.

I asked for either clothes or money for our 2 yr old because she got far too many toys for Christmas and we wanted to save to buy her something for the garden in the summer - having a Feb birthday makes it a long stretch without prezzies til Christmas!

My inlaws always give cheques, apparently it's standard for them so I don't get offended by it.

DD had things to open anyway, she loves clothes (I seem to have spawned a very girly girl, which is quite alien to me...) and it means she'll get something nice and new to play with come summer.

The rastafarian doll sounds even better than the vile giant head that someone from DD's nursery group thought fit to give a 2yo - anyone remember Girls' World? It was like a primark version of that... soooo nasty! Of course, she loves it and I haven't manged to sneak it into the bin yet....

There’s no excuse OP, I live abroad and do an Amazon shop for my family so the lo’s get something to open.
Your family haven’t really thought it through.

Kid will be 18 now 🤣 how has this happened?