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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be angry my yr3 DD has been given...

83 replies

2468whodoweappreciate · 03/04/2017 23:50

...a teenage fiction book to read in school?

With at least one reference to sex according to my DD. Googling the book revealed it's target reading age is teenager / young adult. The synopsis of the entire plot is also extremely questionable as to suitability for a junior child (revolves around girls chasing dates, inc advertising themselves to boys, for a school dance).

OP posts:

Jux · 04/04/2017 10:42

My parents didn't censor books. They just put 'unsuitable' books on higher shelves

What happened was that when you got a book from the higher shelves you read the bits you understood and skipped over the bits you didn't. I remember trying to read 'Games People Play' (a book about transactional analysis afaicr) when I was about 11 and just getting really bored.

Lady Chatterley's Lover (Unabridged) was one I read at a similar time. I was pretty bored by that too.

I doubt very much your Y3 child would have got much from it. Still, school shouldn't have given it to her, so pop in and tell them but stop that silly TA from making it into as issue in your dd's eyes. Deal with it all without dd. Answer questions dd has, but keep it all to a minimum.

Mummyoflittledragon · 04/04/2017 10:43

It seems a bit grown up as your dd won't understand lots of the content. I think angry is a strong word. It's appropriate for a tween so fine in the school library. My dd is still 8 and in yr4 (soon yr5) may choose something like this and I wouldn't be angry.

GinevraFanshawe · 04/04/2017 10:45

I read Virginia Andrews and Danielle Steel, Catherine Cookson books when I was ten and i think it gave me a weird attitude to sex and relationships. I was an advanced reader but emotionally not ready.

neonrainbow · 04/04/2017 10:45

I was going to say YABU if you don't know what the sex reference is BUT i just looked up the synopsis of the zoe and chloe books and they sound bloody awful ... two girls dolling themselves up to attract the attention of boys and wondering how to persuade a good looking boy to take them to a ball, and "competing" against a girl who is "better looking" than them with better mascara. No fucking way would i want my impressionable young child reading such sexist drivel.

RedSkyAtNight · 04/04/2017 10:46

Plenty of so called teen fiction is perfectly ok for Y6 (or possibly even Y5). The description covers a wide range of books.

5moreminutes · 04/04/2017 10:50

Fellout there is a big difference between directing children to books with inappropriate context and them having access to a library or bookshop and making their own choices. Not giving a 7 year old The Hunger Games or Flowers in the Attic is not censorship.

I have been more disturbed by things I've read than any film I've seen, and children who are genuinely good readers, rather than just being capable of decoding at an advanced level, will experience what they read more vividly through their imaginations than any film they watch, and will also do the reading alone rather than in with a parent experiencing it all along side them who can explain things and reassure, as they might if they decided to take a child under 12 to watch a 12A at the cinema - so I am always surprised to see parents and teachers who would never show their 7 or 8 year old a 15 film claiming to be cool with them reading a book which, if made into a film, would probably rate a 15 or at least a 12A certificate.

I don't know the series of books referred to, so this is just a general comment about the attitude to kids reading teen and adult fiction, and especially to actively directing young children to fiction with teen and adult themes.

KurriKurri · 04/04/2017 10:51

I think a mistake has probably been made somewhere, but it wouldn't have if the book hadn't been there in the first place.
I assume your DD is in a primary school ? In which case why are there young adult books on the shelves. I think there is a difference between censorship and not putting age innappropriate material ont he shelves for 7 years olds.

I would also not be happy to have a 7 yr old reading about dating, chasing boys, sex etc. (sounds a rather poor model and very stereotyped female behaviour anyway even for teens)

Generally the themes of teen/young adult books even if they are not sex related are too challenging for younger children. And could cause distress (for example my DD would have had the capability to read Hunger Games at 7 - but no way would I have considered it appropriate).

There's plenty of books available for good young readers that are appropriate fro their age and level of maturity.

Rainybo · 04/04/2017 10:53

I've just looked up the Amazon reviews and found this:

'My daughter came home from school with this book. Swearing, a teenager lamenting that she "hasn't had sex in months", and a teen having an affair with an older married man? No thanks. The level of writing makes it appealing to a younger set, but the subject matter is too much for that age. This is completely inappropriate for kids and trashy no matter how old you are.'

So YABU, I wouldn't be keen on my Y6 reading it and I'm very anti-book censorship.

LisaMed1 · 04/04/2017 11:03

My mother let me read Ian Fleming when I was @ ten. It didn't have a healthy effect.

I am soooo strict about age appropriate with ds.

FerdinandsRevenge · 04/04/2017 11:09

YANBU Op. That book sounds awful.

Just because a child has a reading age over their actual age does not mean they should be allowed to read it that's shocking parenting. I was a fluent reader from around the age of three and used to steal my parents' books.. As a poster above said they were upsetting and affected my thinking. Worst of all you won't always feel comfortable discussing the very explicit stories with your parent which means you're left to deal with them on your own. And explicit material whether graphic violence or of a sexual nature won't go over anyone's head as it's explicit.

Gileswithachainsaw · 04/04/2017 11:13

Bit she doesn't get to decide what other children read. The bokks are there for everyone

Yr three is more than old enough to start making a note of the book so her mum.can take a look or to bring it home or to put it back if it gets uncomfortable reading

CountryCaterpillar · 04/04/2017 11:19

My yr3 is Jaqueline Wilson obsessed. We now have talk of social workers.... The latest had a stepdad that beat up his kid...

I'm not keen but they're in school. I've told her she can talk to.me about anything....

LanaKanesLeftNippleTassle · 04/04/2017 11:19

Pah, I read Lord of The Flies at that age.

I hate book censoring with a passion. I was an avid reader when young and read anything on my mums shelves including Socialist Worker/ Lorna Doone/ all sorts of unsuitable Classics/ the Joy of Sex etc etc.

What has it left me with??

A lifelong love of reading, a wide range of knowledge and a massive vocabulary, way beyond that of my peers.

Kids are less impressionable than you think.

ChocChocPorridge · 04/04/2017 11:19

My DS is nearly 7, and a good reader - I completely agree that just because they can read it, doesn't mean they should - there's plenty of stuff DS could read that I wouldn't let him - he'd come away with nightmares - he found Matilda pretty disturbing for goodness sake (he's a touch over-dramatic and takes things literally)

Definitely have a word - these books sound inappropriate on more than one axis, and there's plenty of good books that she could be reading instead!

LanaKanesLeftNippleTassle · 04/04/2017 11:22

Although

Those books sound fucking awful!!

I wouldn't want any child reading them, but maybe you could turn it around??

"See here Jenny, aren't these girls sucked into the sexist patriarchal system of competeing for the boyz with mascara instead of their brains??"

LanaKanesLeftNippleTassle · 04/04/2017 11:24

"And isn't it sad that they care more about what boyz think of them instead of finding themselves, getting knowledge and education, and making a path for themselves without caring what the men are thinking!"

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 04/04/2017 11:25

does this really merit "anger"

CotswoldStrife · 04/04/2017 11:28

I think children are impressionable, and why feed their minds with crap - garbage in, garbage out, as they say? When they are young they can't always make that judgement themselves.

If my DD came home with that, I'd be having a chat with the school myself.

catsarenice · 04/04/2017 11:33

I read The Secret Diary of Adrian Mole aged 13 and 3/4 when I was 8 or 9 - I remember asking my Mum what the 'thing' was he was measuring with his ruler!!

Gileswithachainsaw · 04/04/2017 11:41

Half of us grew up reading peter and jayne where girls helped mummy in the kitchen and boys helped their dads tinker with cars.

Now we have biff and chip where the dads incompetent no one cares the creepy neighbour is always peering over the fence and they all have stupid names.

And even when you get off those books kids books are sooooo dull. All sunshine and puppies. With the exception of perhaps the Harry potter when they get to that stage.

I far preferred more gritty truthful about life books rather than princesses living soley to get married and pop out babies.

Unless they are reading fifty shades of grey of be happier with the opportunity to discuss valuable life lessons.

I remember being 13 ish and we had an author come in. The library stocked his books and all of a sudden forget the happy endings boyfriends were dying and someone had an abortion and someone else ran away. Im.sure many would be horrified at that kinda content but it was refreshing to see another darker side of life and I learnt about things my parents never told me.

When i wasn't reading horror stories that is

windypolar · 04/04/2017 11:44

DD's TA said she'd talk to my DD about it today, I asked her not to but looking back the last thing she said again as she flew in the building was "I'll get DD to show me the inappropriate parts". DD will be mortified if she does & I'm worried DD won't confide in me again!

Well that doesn't inspire much confidence.

You are not being unreasonable. Plenty of age appropriate alternative books available

shakeyospeare · 04/04/2017 11:46

The books sounds like poorly written sexist drivel. Definitely not appropriate for a Y3 reader - not so much for the language but for the whole premise of silly, giggly girls fighting over boys.

There has to be better-written books out there.

WyfOfBathe · 04/04/2017 11:57

It doesn't sound appropriate for a year 3, but it sounds like exactly the kind of thing I would have loved reading in about year 6, so I don't think that it's necessarily inappropriate for a school library.

"Teen fiction" is generally aimed at pre-teens/younger teens, it sometimes has a 9+ label on the back. You probably wouldn't find many 15+ reading it.

CitronellaEllaElla · 04/04/2017 12:06

I can remember reading Then again, maybe I won't, by Judy Blume when I was in year 4/5. We had to read aloud to the teacher and after reading a passage talking explicitly about the main character getting (what I know realise was) an awkward hard-on in class my teacher stopped me and asked if I knew what was going on.

Gileswithachainsaw · 04/04/2017 12:09

I liked just blume.

I liked the honesty in her books. Like "are you there god"

My parents never really talked about that kind of stuff

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