To think this is outrageous

[Tiptoes11]

DD is 16, 17 in July. It was one of her good friend's birthdays today and she's just shown me a post on instagram of the gifts her friend got.

Bearing in mind she's just turned 17, her mum and dad got her:

A new car
Some designer shoes, handbag and matching purse
Chanel make up & perfume
Some expensive looking jewellery
£500..... in cash
A whole wardrobe of designer outfits for summer
3 bottles of champagne
A new iPhone
And
A digital camera
That is literally just from her mum & dad. I know it's none of my business and I don't like judging, but 17 isn't really a "special" birthday. I'd save it all for her 18th.

For DDs 17th we have got her 10 hours of driving lessons (at 250) and a new laptop which she requested.

Is it wrong of me to think this is the reason some children grow up not appreciating things and not learning valuable lessons because they've had everything handed to them on a plate? AIBU to believe that these type of kids are the self-entitled selfish money grabbers we see in adults today?

When DD turned 16 she immediately got a part time job at the local chippy and I am convinced it has done her the world of good. She is so selfless and caring (I'm not boasting nor playing the my kids better than yours card) but I just feel a bit sad for this girl.

I agree it's a lot but its their money and their Daughter so their business I suppose.

My sil has bought her 17 year old a car, paid his insurance, bought his provisional and booked and paid for 15 lessons and his theory test and a promise to pay for the practical. It's a lot, he knows it's a lot and is thankful, but in front of his mates? He's showing off his car. It's sils money, sils child and sils business.

But, what you bought your dd for her 17th Is also lavish for most people I know. The £250 for the driving lessons alone is one of my friends entire Xmas budget for her two DC. A lot of people think several hundred pounds for a not special birthday is outrageous. Add another couple of hundred for a laptop (assuming it's a cheap one and not a Mac?) even more lavish.

But again, it's your money, your daughter and your business.

A car is not that unusual a 17th birthday present. Lots of 17 year cant be insured to drive the family cars as engines are too big.

A few years ago I was walking past a neighbour's house just as they were showing their 18yo twins their birthday presents. A brand new mini each with personalised plates. The girls asked why they were parked in the next door drive. Oh yeah, the house next door was their present too.

Just because she has been given a lot doesn't mean that she is automatically spoiled, unkind, selfish or anything else negative, how do you know what else her parents are teaching her.
Life is far far too short (especially to worry about other people's money / spending habits) and you should enjoy spending whatever time / money you want with your close loved ones.

This sort of thing was pretty normal amongst my peers for 17th/18th birthdays, does your dd go to private school? In my experience their parents also paid for 5* all inclusive breaks to Bali and such for a level results, and continue to pay for these lavish holidays while they are at university and beyond ( and these aren't family holidays the parents don't go just pay for their child and maybe a mate or two). It may seem OTT but these kids have grown up with multiple foreign holidays a year and their parents only ever bought new cars etc and to suddenly go without would clearly be too much for the little darlings, the parents don't want them to 'go without'. I got a second hand car for my 17th but never learnt to drive so it passed to my younger brother, I had no need to drive and still don't I'm perfectly happy to walk or get the tube. My parents have never been flashy with money and would have been very displeased with boasting on social media, we were always taught it was vulgar to talk about money and to show off expensive things - probably why I've never really felt comfortable posting holidays/presents etc on social media I just think it's very a bit naff. Especially when they haven't done anything themselves to earn their privileged position, showing off mummy and daddy's money is really rather sad. They will grow up with a very warped view of what a base level existence requires, god help them if for whatever reason they can't afford these things in the future.