..thinking my dd has a mean nanny?

[NappyChange]

Granny is not bad off at all, in fact, very comfortable. When my dd was born, second grandaughter for her, a gift of a second hand, bobbly acrylic jumper, size 9months was sent fresh from the charity shop. Christmas was 2 bibs from the charity shop and she told my sis in law that that's it now till dd's bday in July! We are going to spend the weekend with her today and I just know she will launch at me asking me why I dont buy ALL dd's clothes etc. in charity shops (I am not against charity shops at all, honest)and will think me precious as I buy new stuff (even cheapo sleepsuits from Primark). DH will not stick up for me as he turns into a 2 yr old when he visits her. Grrhhhh.

She sounds a little tight, but perhaps she's a big believer in charity shops? I mean on principle, rather than from meanness

Phew, glad nanny meant Granny!

Sounds like a difficult woman to spend time with, no advice other than to count to 10 or 100 (possibly) when she goes off on one!

You could always lie and tell her you do get lots of dd's stuff from charity shops....
Personally would try to rise above it-she is your dd and it is up to you how you dress her and where from.Yor money,your child,your choice [grrrr]

my gran was like this - quite wealthy but always buying things 2nd hand/charity shops. i think for her it was a legacy of the war - you just never bought new unles you HAD to. she even tried to get me a wedding dress in the sales to save money!

How is she with the children otherwise?

I only ask because on the face of it my MIL sounds like yours. She didn't buy a present for either of my children (her only grandchildren) when they were born, and never buys them anything other than Christmas or birthday presents even now. But (and it's a big but) she adores them and spends a lot of time with them - and that's more important to me than the fact she doesn't buy presents and thinks I spend too much money on my children.

this is a generational thing, surely?

generations brought up in wartime tend to have a totally different attitude to saving stuff and reusing stuff.

don't think of this as meanness. I'm sure she has chosen the best things she can find with great care and pleasure - old habits die hard

I don't think how much money she has is relevant. Alot of people think baby clothes are a waste of money as they grow out of them so quickly. Also, she can spend her money on whatever she likes and doesn't have to spend it on your dd (although from my experience of grandparents that is unusual)

My MIL isn't well off but is adamant that she will be buying all DS's presents from 'flea markets'. Now I have no objection to charity shops but it turned my stomach when she used the expression 'flea market'! (irrational I know!). She is very judgemental about the way my husband and I earn our money (in the City) and always makes comments on how much we spend (we try not to tell her) so I am sure to be getting loads of comments aswell about spending too much on DS. Can't wait!

DH is unlikely to say anything so I will just grit my teeth and say 'I'll bear your opinion in mind'. Do you see her often?

nappychange the best thing to do is smile and nod and think about how much she is saving and how much will be left in her will

WWII ended in 1945 being 76 years ago. I doubt the MIL was brought up in the war years. In fact, weren't the 50s and 60s prosperous eras?

Well, she's certainly meaner than most grannies I know. I've received more/nicer presents for my DS from my work colleagues. She may just be very thrifty, though. In any case, I'd be buying all her presents from the charity shop from now on and, if she comments, saying "I know how much you love a good charity shop find" .

When my grandmother was moving from the family home, she called in all her granddaughters and gave them the contents of the house. The oldest got first choice, then the second oldest, etc. I was number 5 so you can imagine what was left. I remember one cousin prancing down the stairs saying "I got the electric blankets and they are brand new."
Well, I got three hand-pieced and hand-quilted patterned quilts and two bookcases. The bookcases were solid walnut and over 100 years old. The quilts were cleaned and are now used as wall hangings. Every time my cousins visit they make a remark about how "lucky" I was to get the antiques.

Could it be that your Nanny sees more value in old things than you do?

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