This is long, apologies.
So I had a friend who I'd been friends with a fair while, not hugely close but when we both moved to a different country we started hanging out more and talking more.
I stopped speaking to her as she let me down quite a few times then when I was pregnant with ds and she was co-organiser of the baby shower dropped out less than a week before after having promised to do a bunch of stuff and leaving my mil right in the shit. It's appears from Facebook that instead of being ill and broke as she'd said she was she went out to some champagne evening.
Now I know that maybe she felt better last minute and maybe someone paid for her to go but it was the last straw with her being flaky. Someone bring flaky in itself wouldn't be enough for me to cut them off but she also never paid for a thing when she'd visit. She disappear or have forgotten her card every time it was time to pay for a meal or a drink and everything together made me not want to bother.
Anyway (said it was long, sorry) move on four years and she's made several attempts to reconcile and apologised. So a month ago I started speaking to her again.
She's planning on coming to stay in a couple of weeks and we've been chatting daily on fb messenger.
So today we're talking about how we're both trying the diet and exercise as we have been the last few days to encourage each other.
She says she's not done much today as she's got her period and feeling shit. I say 'sorry' and how I've just got mine too and am feeling really down about it as we've been having fertility issues and are on our last but one rounds of fertility medicine. She says 'wow so you're trying again?!' and I say yes we have been for 2.5 years now and this is pretty much the end of the line for a second child.
She says 'I'm sorry, I hate to say it but I'm so relived I'm not pregnant this month.'
And then 'it's either meant to be or not. Hard but true. You have one.'
Then 'omg there's nothing on tv, stuck watching the boat race.'
Now I'm not normally a snowflake over this. I'm constantly smiling through the 'hurry up and have another', 'it's cruel to just have one', 'you're getting to be too old' type comments. Even people that know I've had a few miscarriages say really hurtful stuff that I never say anything about.
But this has really upset me and made me feel like shit.
I know I'm pre menstrual plus heartbroken at not being pregnant again so am well aware I may be being oversensitive hence asking here.
She's an incredibly clued up and emotionally aware person so I'm having trouble buying that she just spoke without thinking too much. Also, she even said 'hard but true' so must have been aware she was saying something potentially upsetting.
Dh is furious and says he wouldn't be upset if she didn't come to visit ever again but I'd like to hear from others if I'm being a big baby.