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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

No one helping

14 replies

user1471518295 · 01/04/2017 21:51

My son and I went to watch our football team play today. The car park has two lifts and 6 floors. One of the lifts was out of order but the other was ok. My son has a problem with his knee, so stairs etc are difficult, and i have had two ops (one on each knee - must run in the family!) and also have a broken finger in a cast. We parked on 3rd floor.

Anyway - to get to the point. We got back to the car park after the match and, whilst waiting to pay, saw a lady with a 3 year old (ish) and a baby in a large pushchair loaded with shopping. She was asking one of the attendants what she should do as BOTH the lifts were now out of order.

The attendant said there was nothing he could do and just left her there!

There were about 20 men, me, my son and this lady and her two children. I started to make my way up the stairs, looked back and saw her trying to drag the overloaded pushchair with the child still in it up the stairs!

Bearing in mind I have a very obviously broken finger and my son is a very obviously weedy 15 year old (knee issues are not visible so we can ignore that to be honest), we were not the ideal candidates to help out. But there was no way I could have gone home without knowing that this poor lady was alright. I suggested she took the baby out of the pushchair, and carried it. Then my son and I could take the pushchair.

The 20 or so men stood and then watched a mid 50s with a finger in a cast and her puny offspring carry the pushchair up the stairs. It was only as we started carrying it that I found out we were going to the 4th floor! Some of the men pushed past us to get to their cars.

I sooooooo wanted to say something cutting, but was so out of breath that no words would come out! I just gasped a little and frowned - not really sure I got my point across to be honest ...

I am 100% sure I ANBU in having expected adult male assistance - and how shaming that only a woman and teenager were willing to help this lady. Or is this how it works now - that we are all so involved with our own lives we don't want to help anyone else?

I hope that the DP of the men who were in Watford today will read this and ask them if they saw the lady in the car park, and why they did not lift a bloody finger to help!

OP posts:
Derlei · 01/04/2017 21:57

Yanbu.i say this regularly; chivalry is dead and people are selfish.
Well done for helping whilst in physical discomfort, I bet you restored her faith in mankind (or should I say womenkind)

hula008 · 01/04/2017 21:57

Why didn't you ask someone to help?

LolaTheDarkdestroyer · 01/04/2017 21:59

Some people are just ignorant.

Original poster
user1471518295 · 01/04/2017 22:00

Hula - it was not my position to ask someone else to help! I would have felt very odd directing a total stranger to assist another total stranger! People were fully aware of the situation and I have to say I was astonished at the lack of action by everyone else.

OP posts:
hula008 · 01/04/2017 22:03

I think if I saw three people carrying a pushchair up the stairs i might assume they had it in hand already!

BrutusMcDogface · 01/04/2017 22:03

Yanbu . Male or female, someone else should have offered to help. Lazy, selfish fuckers (hidden disability aside- my mn disclaimer!)

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 01/04/2017 22:04

YANBU. Fuckin gentleman Jims.
Teenagers have impeccable manners, IME.

Original poster
user1471518295 · 01/04/2017 22:13

Noooooo Hula - a mid 50s woman with a cast on her finger and weedy child carrying the huge pushchair and shopping. The lady carrying the baby and holding the hand of the other child. Mid 50s woman was gasping for air, and clearly not finding the experience easy!

OP posts:
hula008 · 01/04/2017 22:19

Yeah - people passing you won't notice the cast on your finger, and lots of people would have been panting up the stairs. You are overestimating peoples awareness of the situation around them!

I'm often in a rush, especially in shopping centres (I just want to go home!). I would probably pass on the situations you've described without really thinking about it, but would be more than happy to help if asked, and have asked for help from people in public places before.

NeedMoreSleepOrSugar · 01/04/2017 22:34

Glad you helped, I'm sure the lady was very grateful. Too late now, but I can't help but wonder would it not have been easier to offer to look after her pram and shopping until she could drive down to the ground floor and load the car there?

cestlavielife · 01/04/2017 22:35

You should have asked them to help.

foxyloxy78 · 01/04/2017 22:39

What assholes.well done you though. You're a great example for your boy.

FairytalesAreBullshit · 01/04/2017 22:40

I think that's shocking of them men. Flowers for helping

Original poster
user1471518295 · 01/04/2017 22:43

Thank you :) It was not possible to wait for the car to come down as it was football leaving time - the roads were packed, lots of frustrated people (it took us nearly 45 minutes to get out of the car park today from 3rd floor)

I was trying to work out the best way to help and this seemed the easiest ... until she told me she was on 4th floor!

OP posts:
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