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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To just be really fucking fucked off with being so broke all the time!

115 replies

SharkiraSharkira · 01/04/2017 18:16

I will admit, this is really just a rant as there isn't much anyone can do about it.

But I am SO SICK of being SO fucking poor! It's SO humiliating having to admit to my boss and co workers that I am so broke I can't afford to pay my rent, that I am so broke I have to raid my penny jar for money for the fucking bus to work, just generally playing catch up ALL THE FUCKING TIME and never being able to actually get there.

Aibu to just be fucking fed up? To make matters worse I had to get an advance last month because otherwise I would have only had 2 weeks worth of money to live on for a month, so now I am going to get about £500 for this month. A whole month of working so hard, virtually full time hours and that is all I've got to show for it? Feel like just fucking giving up. So I know it's not going to get better any time soon.

Also doesn't help that a member of staff turned up today showing off their shiny new car that they just bought on a credit card. Makes me want to scream!

I know that isn't fair as my finances are not their problem but everyone was rushing out to look at the lovely new car and I just wanted them to fuck off because I'm stuck relying on free lifts and the bus because I can't even afford to fix my fucked bike. Just want to cry Sad

OP posts:
BibiBlocksberg · 01/04/2017 20:36

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BibiBlocksberg · 01/04/2017 20:38

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littlefrog3 · 01/04/2017 20:44

Haven't read the whole thread, but I can't get past the OP being jealous of someone buying a new car on a credit card! Confused

Why be jealous of someone for being multiple 1000's in debt (10's of 1000's even) on a credit card?

I do sympathise though OP. Have you asked about housing benefit towards your rent? £500 a month is a piss-poor wage on any planet. You would definitely be entitled to help with your rent.

What wage do you normally get?

Is there any way you could house share (to give you more surplus income?) Anything you could lose? An expensive phone plan? Satellite tv? Smoking? Anything?

littlefrog3 · 01/04/2017 20:46

Bibi, I am glad you are OK now ^ But I would never advocate someone sending money through paypal - or any other medium - to a random stranger on the internet.

NOBODY should be doing that. Please don't. (No offence to the OP.)

ADisappearingDreamOfYesterday · 01/04/2017 20:49

Op forgive me if I am wrong but haven't you posted about this before - the broken bike rang a bell - and your DP who you live with is actually a high rate earner? I wouldn't normally post like this but as you are getting people offering you money...

MNers are very kind, I have benefitted myself from the kindness of strangers but of course we don't know anyone's full story on here.

I'm sure you didn't intend starting this thread to be offered money but if you are the poster I remember you have made certain choices to be in this situation - and are actually in a much better situation than a lot of people. You have had lots of good suggestions on this thread.

littlefrog3 · 01/04/2017 20:50

Maybe I am just pessimistic, but I do hope this isn't some scam. The OP starts by ranting about how poor they are, followed by another user conveniently posting a private message on the forum, (by accident apparently,) offering her money through paypal. Maybe to put ideas into other peoples heads to send money.........

No-one should send any money to anyone. Anyone who is thinking of it, just don't.

littlefrog3 · 01/04/2017 20:52

^^ 'Disappearing Dream' having similar thoughts..... hmmmmmmmm

MNHQ
ClaraMumsnet · 01/04/2017 21:02

Hi ShakiraShakira,

So sorry to hear you're feeling so fed up.

When these kind of threads pop up, it's our standard to remind our members to be aware that not everyone on the internet is who they say they are, and that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare.

Flowers to you OP. x

littlefrog3 · 01/04/2017 21:04

Dp forgive me if I am wrong but haven't you posted about this before - the broken bike rang a bell - and your DP who you live with is actually a high rate earner? I wouldn't normally post like this but as you are getting people offering you money...MNers are very kind, I have benefitted myself from the kindness of strangers but of course we don't know anyone's full story on here. I'm sure you didn't intend starting this thread to be offered money but if you are the poster I remember you have made certain choices to be in this situation - and are actually in a much better situation than a lot of people. You have had lots of good suggestions on this thread.

Yes she has posted here, many times. Just a quick google search brought up half a dozen posts of the OP's complaining about lack of money at great length, and saying she needs money. One post mentioned a son, but this one doesn't. Another one mentioned being at uni or having just left, but this doesn't. Another post mentioned a partner, but this one doesn't. And they have all been posted within the past month...

I think people should err on the side of caution here, and not send money.

littlefrog3 · 01/04/2017 21:06

Crossposted with Clara. Thanks for the warning Clara.

As you said people do need to be careful. Especially because (as I mentioned,) several of the OP's posts do not correspond with others she has posted. Not saying she is a scammer or a liar, but something is not adding up.

ADisappearingDreamOfYesterday · 01/04/2017 21:09

I haven't ASed but the bike thing, and the slight drip feed about the working DP seemed familiar.

PlymouthMaid1 · 01/04/2017 21:11

It is pretty normal to be poor as a student though isn't it?

FairytalesAreBullshit · 01/04/2017 21:19

I've offered to help a few people on here, they politely declined. I would say ok OP I'll say send over some money, but I don't believe it'll have any long term impact. I would personally want to know more before handing over say £50. I hope you forgive me OP, but whilst it helps you this month, something major needs to be done to get you on an even keel every month.

I believe you can get CM reviewed if it's causing financial hardship.

As a couple your outgoings should be indexed to what you earn. So if DP/DH earns more, he should pay more than you. It doesn't make sense it's split equally in halves, when it causes financial hardship. Can you talk to him about this?

ILikeyourHairyHands · 01/04/2017 21:23

Why the sad-faces? You're a student, it's the nature of the beast. Be happy you are in a position to further yourself, many don't have that option.

Can't get me knickers in a twist of sorrow for someone who is in education and work, whilst living in a rural position both away from their DC, their place of work and their place of study.

In this case, there are options.

ZilphasHatpin · 01/04/2017 21:41

Hang on, is this the poster who went on some expensive holiday during the summer or autumn of last year despite knowing they would be a student and have little income?

ThisIsStartingToBoreMe · 01/04/2017 21:59

Yes it is. And the same one who brought her mum a fitbit for mothers day

littlefrog3 · 01/04/2017 22:03

Like I said - (re the last few posts,) the OP's postings just don't add up.

moreslackthanslick · 01/04/2017 22:09

Your dp pays maintenance? Silly you forgetting involved in that then!

ZilphasHatpin · 01/04/2017 22:17

OP you need professional help wrt to your financial attitude. You seem to go from having large amounts of money to having none. Maybe a case of easy come, easy go. I don't know. Not sure how you come to have these large amounts of spare cash. Anyway, you're being ridiculously foolish with it. You are an adult, you need to take responsibility for the situation you have put yourself in, (and yes, if you've been buying holidays, fitbits, etc then you've had the chance not to be in this situation but chose not to take it)

My spidey senses tingled a bit upthread when you ignored certain posts with suggestions or questions regarding your partner. You have options, make better decisions.

FairytalesAreBullshit · 01/04/2017 22:35

Depending on when OP became a student, she'd get the loan, or loan plus bursaries. The next payment is usually April time, so that's due imminently. Just looked up how the payday stuff works, you can pay a certain amount to put off paying it for the month. Some allow you to do it 3 times, others 6.

The main thing that held me back from saying how could we help, is the fact that she was reluctant to talk about DP.

Now people are saying OP got Mum a Fitbit for MD & had a nice holiday. I think it's a lesson that budgeting is very important. You're lucky you shouldn't have to wait long for your student money, I can find out when it's due if that helps.

You need to talk to DH about indexing your income verses outgoings fairly.

Original poster
SharkiraSharkira · 01/04/2017 23:53

Just to clarify, I have only been a member for a few months and have not had a holiday for years! I was CONSIDERING buying a Fitbit type device for DM for Mother's Day because it was on sale and I was going to go halves with Dsibling. I didn't get it in the end. A LOT of assumptions being made on this thread!

Also, I don't want anyone to send me anything, money or otherwise. I know I need to learn to manage my outgoings better but I really have tried everything I can think of and wanted some support. Sorry for asking Sad

OP posts:
Original poster
SharkiraSharkira · 02/04/2017 03:34

Also, I have answered questions regarding dp, sorry if I happened to be at work earlier and so didn't answer question immediately, I can't use my phone when I'm on shift.

Dp is definitely NOT a high earner, he earns way less than the national average, just more than me as he is able to work full time hrs and I am not at the moment. We split things equally because he has more outgoings that me, not because I'm some sort of scam artist Confused

OP posts:
FairytalesAreBullshit · 02/04/2017 03:50

If he can't work full time, can't you at least check he's paying the right amount of child support? Ok some people have assumed you were someone else. Does it make any sense to suggest to DP to index what you pay towards the house to your earnings?

If you can pay the fee to extend the loan thing till you get your student money. I would also ask DP if you can pay any of your share of the bills then too, as this month will be a struggle.

Realistically you both need to sit down, you share bills so incomings are one pot essentially, take it from there and budget for everything.

I'm sorry I don't have a magic wand to make this all ok, I hope the advice helps you think things through. It sounds like you're getting a raw deal.

How long have you left at Uni? Is DP at Uni too? I was wondering as they had the Adult Dependents Grant you can get for each other, plus Child Grant which you might get having children involved. Every extra penny, is a penny less worried about.

Original poster
SharkiraSharkira · 02/04/2017 04:01

Fortunately this is my last year so it's only the next few months I need to sort out but I just seem to constantly be playing catch up. Dp isn't a student but, as I said, has a lot more outgoings than me. It's a tough situation and in all honesty I know that in 6 months it could all change and be so much better but it's just so difficult right now Sad

OP posts:
Original poster
SharkiraSharkira · 02/04/2017 04:02

Fortunately this is my last year so it's only the next few months I need to sort out but I just seem to constantly be playing catch up. Dp isn't a student but, as I said, has a lot more outgoings than me. It's a tough situation and in all honesty I know that in 6 months it could all change and be so much better but it's just so difficult right now Sad

OP posts: