To think I'm being ghosted by an old friend

[onlyforthisthread]

This has happened to me so many times but I never thought this friend would do it. Have known her about 15 years and we've never lived in the same city but always meet up around the longer school holidays. I'm not on social media really and neither of us tends to text/ring an awful lot in between visits - sometimes not at all- but one of us always contacts shortly before a holiday to arrange a meet up.

I texted her last week and got no reply, which I don't think has ever happened before. A week later I rang her twice in one evening and I think she rejected the call. The following evening (last night) I rang her again, twice. It took longer to go to voice mail than the night before and just after the second time she texted to say she was out and would ring me today. She still hasn't.

It was also dd's birthday a couple of weeks ago and she sent nothing and didn't even text. Again, this is a first. I have FB though never really use it, but have been on and seen she's been reasonably active recently and no mention of anything major happening, though I do know there a couple of family issues bubbling away that may have come to a head, so she may be busy with those. She has no partner or dc.

I do have a tendency of this sort of thing happening to me, though the last one was about 10 years ago, so I may be extra paranoid, but I don't think it looks good. But why would someone want to cut you out after 15 years? Should I just leave it now? Feeling very hurt and vulnerable for other reasons atm and not sure how I can pick myself up if she just never rings.

I had a friend drop me too. She was born 2 months after me, our mothers are best friends and we lived on the same street our entire lives as children.

Then she dropped me after 22 years of friendship. It hurt and still does and I have no idea if I did something to her.

I still miss her but maybe it's just part of life and people will leave for no reason sometimes.

for the sake of fuck

Why be so nasty and smug about it op is clearly having a bit of a rubbish time over it.

Fairytale saying your children should be your whole world is terrible advice. I love my children, I prioritise them and they take up plenty of my time (I have 5) but they are most certainly not 'my whole world' if you have nothing else what will you do when they grow up and leave home.

they should be your whole world. It shouldn't matter about anything but them

Actually fairytales I think that's unhealthy for both you and them. What a huge amount of pressure for your kids and what kind of example for them? I would think that wasn't modelling healthy relationships or a healthy sense of self.

Beadoren You're welcome to read my message in any tone that suits your projections. It probably tells me much more about you than it does about what I wrote. For absolute clarity, however, to my mind, it is rather much kinder, and more factually correct based on what's been written here, to tell the OP as clearly as possible that she actually has no idea that her conclusion is correct. In fact, as far as things stand, she has no idea why her friend is not responding. As I said before, there are a wealth of possible reasons. Playing into OP's fears by sympathising as if she's absolutely right about the rejection seems both cruel and ill-founded to me. Perhaps my brand of reasoning doesn't seem especially sympathetic to you, but if you try to focus on the end goal of my messages, you may then see the "tone" they were actually written in.

Gosh, it's only been a couple of weeks. Maybe she's having problems of some sort and isn't up to replying or arranging a time to meet. Give her some space and she'll probably get in touch again in the future.