To think Apple shouldn't tell my child how to remove restrictions?

[AdviceDotCom]

Hiya,

My 8 year old daughter has the restrictions on her iPod. She's doesn't know the restriction code, so can't turn them off, etc.

Bugger me, her whole iPod is restored and she is there on FaceTime. I know it's not the worst thing in the world, but I wasn't happy.

She tells me she has phoned up Apple and "a nice lady spoke to me" AIBU to think if it's obvious that a child is phoning up about restrictions, they should probably ask a parent to call back???

Your dd has deliberately gone looking for a way to circumvent the restrictions you have placed on her iPad usage - I would be very unimpressed with that behaviour, and would have confiscated the iPad on the spot.

The person on the Apple helpline presumably thought she was an adult with a high, girlish voice - which is a pretty understandable mistake to make.

So then why did she need the id and password if she cannot use it? From her knowing that apple assume that she is over 13, thus talking her through how to do the process.

And yes good point about no one noticing her on the phone whilst plugging the device into the laptop/computer. Could just be me but I would be asking questions.

How did you not notice her being on the phone??

She's pretty clued up if at 8 she can find the right number, call Apple and follow the instructions to do all that.

I call BS

The child not only had the Apple ID/password but also had the nous to find the Apple support number, phone them, wait long enough to be connected to a call centre operator, go through the security questions to identify her Apple account, go through the various troubleshooting steps before being walked through the process of formatting her iPod (including using a computer to plug it in to) and resetting everything.

During that entire time nobody in the house noticed her actions or could account for her and yet the problem here is that an Apple call centre employee didn't realise she was 8?!

For someone who puts so many restrictions on their child's technology, maybe you need to start putting some restrictions on your child's unsupervised time, OP.

Wow - your DD is amazingly resourceful- I see a bright career in technology!

Wow, some harsh replies here you honestly watch your 8 (almost 9) yo 24/7? aren't you all perfect parents.

I have 3 other DC (all younger).

I wouldn't even know how to phone Apple and I'm a total iPhone/iPad geek. I think she's possibly exaggerating there...

And actually yes / what PP said. That would take a long time to do so I would be surprised that she had the wherewithal to do it and that she did it without being seen

Its DDs fault. It's not Apples responsibility to police the ages of people phoning for tech support.

She's deliberately took steps to navigate your rules. I'd be more annoyed at her and would be telling her that as she's shown she can't be trusted to follow rules she can't be trusted to have the device. It would take a while to earn that kind of trust back from me, and if/when I let her have it when she's a bit older, she wouldnt be be having the Apple ID password or passcode. I'd also change router settings so that her device is blocked between times there isn't an adult to supervise so she can't use FaceTime as its needs an Internet connection.

It sounds like she's reset the device then signed in with normal Apple ID and password to set up as new device rather than restore it from a save which would have kept the settings etc. Restoring puts the device back to how it was whereas a reset puts it back to out of the box condition.

My friends son ran up a big phone bill phoning some babestation type channel once. Friend was pissed off at production company because they should have know it was a 7 year old phoning the automated line.

She still didn't put restrictions on his device, I offered to do it for her on all his devices but she said her dh would sort it, never happened and when he was 8 and ran a £100 plus bill accessing violent porn on his mobile and ran up a bill in the h she blamed Vodafone, because they should know it's a child's phone and block stuff from Google. She won't be told that it's her responsibility to make sure adult content is blocked, to not give him passwords, to monitor his online usage, esp after he broke rules once. That phone companies do not have an obligation to parent their customers children.

The phone is contracted to his adult father who had opted in to adult content for himself and didn't change back or wipe his phones history before giving it to his 8 year old child when he took a second contract out, Mum didn't check it either, they gave him passwords, they didn't supervise him, etc, but somehow it's Vodafones fault and boys will be boys etc, they shoudlnt have to pay the bill.

It doesn't need to be 24/7 to notice they are on the phone having presumably not a short conversation

The point most people are trying to make and your are determined to ignore is that your angry with the wrong people! Your dd was in the wrong she is the one who has betrayed your trust! She is the one who needs counsequences there is no need to be cross with apple!

Fwiw, I didn't/don't watch my dd on her devices 24/7, she had access to net from being a toddler as we are a gaming and gadget mad household, and as she became older and understood rules more she was given more freedoms, she's never added anyone to FaceTime, Xbox live etc without checking with me first, she's never downloaded so much as a free game without asking first, even though she knows how to. She takes her phone upstairs for an extra alarm and also to feel safe if she got trapped in room due to fire or whatever but doesn't play on it. She doesn't really bother with any tech mon-Friday as she gets homework done first.

It's not that I'm a perfect parent, not at all, it's that dd knows I can check what she's up to, be that sites visited on iPad, call history, chat logs, videos watched on YouTube search terms in Google etc, that I get notifications if she downloaded anything or when she signs into certain services, (my phones just told me she's signed into YouTube) that purchases would not go un noticed because I pay for it. She's expected to be signed into her google account, and from there everything done online can be seen, search terms, websites visited etc.

She knows it's a privilege to be trusted and be allowed access to the things she is, and that she absolutely will lose those privileges if she did any of the things she's not allowed to do.

I can't say for certain that dd won't ever break one of the rules, but if she did, I'd be mad at her and she'd lose all the access she has for a long time. It would be online for homework only and because I'd be unable to supervise at other times, she'd have all devices removed once she's shown she can't be trusted. She says herself it's not worth the risk as losing internet access means losing access to Netflix and doctor who :)

It's not about being a perfect parent. It's a lack of supervision that enabled a child to have a lengthy conversation with someone and then connect the device to a laptop to be able to wipe the device. To then be able to either recall all the info or be on the phone when this happened.
It's not a quick hi how can I get into the privacy settings? Oh yea just connect to a laptop.
That's at least a 20 minute phone call. And yes I know what Its like to have a 8 year old with younger siblings. And no I don't watch 24/7 but I know damn sure if they are on the phone even if not in the same room. How? Because when you hear them chatting to someone you investigate.

I couldn't hear her chatting. She was playing in her room. I was watching youngest downstairs in a completely different part of the house.

Yes, I do sometimes leave her for an hour playing. I don't see how that's so bad.

Then take the house phone out of her room.

Unless you have a very big house, I can't imagine not noticing that a DC was making a lengthy phone call, presumably clattering around a bit to find the wire and plug it in to the laptop, etc. I don't watch my DD 24/7, but I keep an ear out.

But like others have said, it's your DD you need to blame. She new that she was going against your rules. Apple can't tell if it's a child or a young adult, or even an adult with an SLI, who I'm sure wouldn't appreciate being told they weren't going to be helped due to their voice.

How on earth would an 8 year old know to do this?

Removing the restrictions from the iPod is a red herring really. It's the fact that she can't be trusted and is happy to go behind your back.

So she has a landline and PC in her room?? I would be removing them all until she learns to respect your rules about technology.

She doesn't have a landline or laptop in her room she took them from downstairs and no, I didn't notice, due to how the hall is completely cut off from the part I was in.

The more you are posting, the more problems you have that are nothing to do with Apple. You have a dd, boundary and supervision issue. She takes a phone from a room, and laptop from elsewhere and calls to get things unblocked. How can you not see where the issues lie?

So I assume you have now removed all technology and long term will ban use of it anywhere other than in your sight?

She managed to take the landline a laptop and gave a conversation with a helpline (never quick) in order to break the rules??? And you want to blame apple?? Seriously??

Apple is not the problem here, your daughter is.
You are angry at the wrong person.
Take the ipad off her.
Either waych all the time with it or don't give it her until she is more responsible and trustworthy.

I'd be pissed if apple started saying to me i sound too young and i didn't have my password ( i often do forget passwords and i do have a young sounding voice).

Apple is not the problem.

The point most people are trying to make and your are determined to ignore is that your angry with the wrong people!

^ this.

Also if she has the other codes then how was the woman supposed to think she was only a child??
I really hope you haven't got that woman into trouble, she does not deserve it.