Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

Dog Owners

81 replies

GreyStars · 30/03/2017 23:29

To be fair I'm uncomfortable around large dogs, i am very scared of them

Today in vets I walk in see vet in consulting room is looking after a large dog.

Vet closes door

As I'm not good with dogs and I have a cat in basket who doesn't like dogs I put ourselves as far away as possible so when dog and owner walk out we are as far away from the paying counter as possible

Dog owner walks past, towards counter I say to him " sure your dog is lovely but i don't like dogs"

He rolls his eyes at me, his dog is on a rope, he lets it get closer to me

I say again "please keep your dog away from me"

Fifth time I tell him please move your dog and I'm feeling horrible, embarrassed and I want to burst into tears

The receptionist even asked him to move. Two foot towards the counter would have helped

His answer - well I had hands my full

I'm sure the actual dog was lovely, but shouldn't dog owners understand not everyone is comfortable with their dogs?

OP posts:

Willow2017 · 31/03/2017 08:31

You really didn't have to say anything he was walking past to the desk. He was t setting the dog on your car or you.
Where was he supposed to do?

The rest of his behaviour was wrong but maybe next time wait before you jump in. I wouldn't be happy with some random in the vets blurting that out to me walking past with my dog perfectly well behaved.

ohdoadoodoo · 31/03/2017 08:37

You should have said "I'm scared of dogs" and not "I don't like dogs". The latter just sounds like you can't stand them and think they're annoying.

Sorry OP but I do think that YWBU here. The dog was on a lead and essentially walked past you. What do you do if a dog walks past you on the pavement?

WizardOfToss · 31/03/2017 08:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

kali110 · 31/03/2017 09:31

willow has it spot on.
His behaviour after wasn't right, but saying that too him when he nor the dog hadn't done anything wrong to begin with wasn't on.
I'd do what another suggested and ring them when you get there if you have to go to that practise again.

I'm intrigued by all these vets that have separate entrances for dogs and cats!
I've never come across this before!
( what about other animals??)

TheWitTank · 31/03/2017 09:37

My vet has a dog side and a cat side in reception too -such a good idea!
Agree with others that he absolutely should of kept his dog away from you, but (perhaps in panic/fear) you came over a little rude and blunt and that obviously pissed him off. Not right of him of course! If I was you I would have stood up and moved away or stepped outside for the few minutes it took for him to pay.

WaitrosePigeon · 31/03/2017 09:38

Your initial reaction was rude, not surprised he rolled his eyes. Also, you're in a vets surgery.

NavyandWhite · 31/03/2017 09:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Willow2017 · 31/03/2017 10:36

Oh Lord just re-read my post excuse the wrong words my phone is playing up like mad this am.

CalonGoch · 31/03/2017 10:44

I think the owner should have at least said he is friendly

Ha! To be fair, whenever a dog owner says this on MN there is a howl of 'you SAY he's friendly....!' Since joining this place, I've learned it's the one thing you should never say to anyone while holding a dog lead, as it can cause the exact opposite reaction to the one you intended.

MsGameandWatch · 31/03/2017 10:49

Dog walks past, towards the counter, away from you but you still needed to tell the owner you don't like and are uncomfortable around dogs? Why did you need to do that? He was moving on already

AnUtterIdiot · 31/03/2017 10:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

tabulahrasa · 31/03/2017 10:59

"Since joining this place, I've learned it's the one thing you should never say to anyone while holding a dog lead, as it can cause the exact opposite reaction to the one you intended."

Lol, that's because it's a phrase that actually rarely needs to be said if a dog is actually friendly and under control.

It's usually used to minimise that their dog isn't under control.

LadyPW · 31/03/2017 11:51

I also don't understand why you said anything if the dog was just walking past to the counter?
Yep, me too. I go to the vets with my dog & with my cats. When I'm with my cats I make sure I'm plenty far enough away from the counter and the dog section (as much as you can be, it's not that big). You don't need to be that close to the part where people have to walk when they come out of the consult rooms once you've booked yourself in. Besides, dogs are often so relieved to get out into reception again that they do get a bit more excited and pull more, it's stressful for them. And when you're the owner and you're trying to deal with the reception staff to pay / book more appointments / get medication, and control an excitable dog, and avoid everyone else there so you're not in everyone else's way, you don't really need someone telling you that they don't like dogs just for the sake of it.

MiaowTheCat · 31/03/2017 11:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

GreyStars · 31/03/2017 12:30

Sounds like your initial rudeness probably clouded the whole encounter

I'm sure your dog is lovely but I really don't like dogs, as his dog is approaching me and my pets sniffing said with a smile is hardly rude IMO. I didn't say "get that fuck ugly mutt away from me arsehole" that would have been rude, I really wasn't rude - text doesn't convey emotion, and I certainly smiled, I wasn't smiling when his dog was nearly on my lap I just said please move him away whilst trying not to burst into tears. I really want rude, I'm just not that sort of person my reaction to fear is to say please and freeze.

I deliberately sat in the corner, hard to describe but he walked out of the room, he as in owner of dog walked towards counter, dog on bit of rope had a free rein, and headed towards me. It was a very long rope. I couldn't move away as the dog was blocking my way

I asked him to move his dog
The receptionist asked him to move his dog then I think told him to move his dog as his dog kept coming towards me.

I'm sure his dog was lovely, the dog was just being a dog, humans and other pets possibly seem highly sniffable to a dog, just I don't want to be sniffed, my very poorly cat doesn't want to be sniffed and I don't want a large dog near me. The dog made a beeline for us as soon as they came out.

I didn't say this for the sake of it, if he and his dog headed towards the counter and he wasn't on a long bit of rope I wouldn't have said anything, explaining last night after wine wasn't a good thing but the Human here did stop between us and the counter if he had gone to the counter the dog wouldn't have been anywhere near us. I do understand what it is like to have a poorly pet, but when your poorly pet can hurt someone (because dogs do hurt people, and I know how grumpy my cat is when poorly) then maybe it's still your responsibility to control them when their excited coming out of a vets, and if someone very nicely asks you to move your dog away from them then you could at least say something to them and pull your dog away not make them feel even worse and let the dog carry on its business.

I get some people who love dogs, or those who have never had an issue with a dog will never understand this, but asking that owner to pull his dog back and him not was really horrible for me and it was a bloody massive dog, Beethoven size dog. I could not move as I was in the corner only way out would have been past the dog.

Those asking about sitting in the car, I didn't because I didn't know my reaction was going to be quite that strong, I'm actually quite shocked myself about it.

I've been going to the vets every 2-4weeks for two years and this has never happened - I've seen lots of large dogs. I usually sit in the cats, small and quiet dog bit, the other week as lab came to sit with us, and the lady suddenly noticed it was for cats and asked was it ok to stay as her dog was very poorly and needed to be in a quiet spot, not a problem for me at all, because he was on a lead sat next to his owner when he got up he was told to sit back down and he did.

Seems most people agree that he should have pulled the dog back, which has just made me feel a bit less embarrassed - I know it's my issue/fear but it was horrible. I will certainly check if their are dogs next time and stay in the car, I don't want to upset anyone or their pets.

OP posts:

Original poster

GreyStars · 31/03/2017 12:37

miaowthecat

Do you often take what people say and change it drastically? As at no point did I say flipped out at no point did I say the dog was going to attack me at no point did I yell or say I yelled or say this bloke yelled.

I just asked him to stop his elephant sized dog from coming towards me, which he didn't do.

And when I say rope, I mean rope. Not a lead, a rope.

OP posts:

kali110 · 31/03/2017 14:03

So the dog was then nearly in your lap?

I still don't understand why you said something straight away.
Yes, he should have pulled the dog away but saying that straight away if i'd just suddenly come out and was going to pay would have made me roll my eyes too.

Didiplanthis · 31/03/2017 14:16

My dog was ill. Really really ill and in lots of pain ( she was PTS the next day ) I had her on a short lead very close to me. Our vets waiting room is quite small. Two people kept letting their dogs wander over to mine. I asked them not to as she was very unhappy and explained how ill she was. They kept letting them do it, then when she growled at one it's owner had a go at me for my 'antisocial' and aggressive dog.

ohdoadoodoo · 31/03/2017 14:30

Grey Has something happened to make you so afraid of dogs?

How do you cope in other situations? E.g. Someone walks past you in the street?

Original poster

GreyStars · 31/03/2017 14:46

I didn't say something straight away

I typed quickly last night and had a couple of glasses wine, so my OP was a bit rushed but as I've already explained. I didn't just announce this statement. the man walked towards the counter, his dog made a beeline for us, it was on a long bit of rope that is when I said something and normally people just move their dogs away, and/or say something back, this person said nothing, and let his dog continue to walk towards me. He didn't give a damm that I felt uncomfortable and that was my AIBU.

I'm genuinely shocked at how upset I felt about this, it is incredibly confusing for me, so really don't need people being horrible, as I'm trying to make sense of it too.

And of course I didn't mean actually on my lap, I'd likely be squashed and unable to post on MN because it was massive.

OP posts:

Original poster

GreyStars · 31/03/2017 14:55

didiplanthis I'm so sorry about your dog, such a hard thing to go through.

ohdoado I'm trying to make sense of it, I have always been timid of dogs, my mum has a small one and it's taken me quite a lot of time to feel comfortable with him, but he is quite cute :) and really gentle around me so I actually thought I was getting better with them, my reaction to this has been quite a shock to me, I think it must be that I couldn't move anywhere.

Walking in the street I can avoid the dog, I would cross the road if it was a large dog.

OP posts:

stonecircle · 31/03/2017 14:56

GreyStars - I think you didn't explain yourself very well. There's a big difference between:

Dog owner walks past, towards counter I say to him " sure your dog is lovely but i don't like dogs"

And

the man walked towards the counter, his dog made a beeline for us

I love dogs and if I'm honest, don't really get people who don't like them. I'm also wondering if something has happened to make you so anxious around dogs?

theymademejoin · 31/03/2017 15:05

For me, it depends on how close the dog was to you when you made your initial comment. If I was just walking out the door and the dog was nowhere near you, your comment about not liking dogs would have bemused me. It just comes across as a random and unnecessary comment. I would have probably thought you were just a bit odd and not paid any more attention to you. I don't like cats (I'm not afraid of them) but I wouldn't tell some random cat owner in the vets that I didn't like cats.

However, if my dog was very close to somebody (within a couple of feet, though obviously depends on the size of the room) and said I don't like dogs, I would have immediately pulled the dog in close to me and kept them on a very short lead. Also, if asked to move my dog I obviously would, even if I hadn't understood the initial comment. However, the owner may have switched you out after what they perceived as a rather odd, random comment.

I think, even with your update, it's not really clear how close the dog was to you at the beginning. That makes a big difference to whether you wbu.

theymademejoin · 31/03/2017 15:08

Just to add - I understand if you were afraid or uncomfortable you probably weren't thinking straight and just wanted to ask him to make sure his dog didn't go near you without being confrontational.

Original poster

GreyStars · 31/03/2017 15:14

i quite agree I did not explain things fully in my OP but I have acknowledged this :) I have learnt my lesson of operating MN whilst under the influence of wine

I am going through some really very very tough things at the moment, and am a bit delicate so I may just be a bit more on edge than normal, and what is normally a controlled fear maybe became worse when he didn't move the dog.

No harm done to him or the dog though, I will also live just feel really embarrassed for getting so upset and a bit confused.

My mums friend had a small dog that I used to like quite a lot as a child, my biological father I know had dogs but I only saw him twice that I vaguely remember, they were quite bouncy from what I can recall and not super large but big compared to a tiny child, so maybe something happened there but I can't ask him as he disappeared from my life and drank himself to death many years ago.

I am quiet confused by it.

OP posts:

Flip

1 2 3 4