"I was that child" - AIBU?

[armpitz]

Maybe I'm just being grumpy but AIBU at being fed up at the amount of projection flying around?

"I was your daughter"
"I was that child"
"This was me aged 7."

and so on.

Now, I understand there's a genuine desire to help but more often than not people just seem to decide their childhood and the child in the OP have identical, parallel childhoods and therefore whatever issues, problems and distress they have in adulthood will also happen for the child being discussed.

It also derails the thread as people naturally feel compelled to add and the like after reading heart rending stories. (That's not me saying they shouldn't post them; au contraire I think post them as much as you need but as a thread not in the midst of someone else's.)

I'm not anti people suggesting that their problems could be a foregone conclusion but given the range of human responses AIBU to think 'this will happen because it happened to me' is at best naive, and potentially damaging to the person seeking advice?

armpitz theres was a thread today about one household out of three who have a shared driveway who put up electric gates and expected the op to pay to wire it up and maintain it. A clever mumsnetter then posted that this should be now known as #gategate. Im a lame storyteller, but it was honestly very funny

Aham but by stating "I was that child" or words to that effect it's not helping the child in question, it's helping the poster.

Wizzy will have a search

ahamsternest
I get that and what youre trying to say but my issue is that people piling in claiming their situation is (almost) identical to the posters isnt really helpful.

Saying youve had a similar experience, fine.

But implying you have the answers and get it because your situation is the same (and for some posters jt usually it refers to awful childhoods leading to bad adult relationships, mental health issues etc which the OP is going to inflict if they do anything that vaguely mirrors what the posters experienced) is a massive claim to make which isnt helpful to posters seeking advice
E.g. yes Sally's parents may have stayed together out of convenience and for the kids and Sally has average memories. Daniels parents did the same, he went on to experince depression and attachement issues. It does mean that Tim's parebts who stay together for the kids is going ti cause tim to have awful memories or mental health. The situations seem similar on paper but are contexually so different.