to think my office pot plant is openly mocking me?

[Morphene]

I am trying to have important, grown up, serious discussions, and it has gratuitously grown a penis.

I thought the whole point of small cactus like plants in pretty pots was that they just sit on your desk, not dying, even if you forget about them for weeks on end. But apparently their actual plan is to surreptitiously send up a penis which you won't notice till half way through a meeting, and then won't really be able to look away from.

Don't tell me it's some kind of flowering body, because it is definitely a penis. It has been drooping slowly over the last hours and now I have to decide whether to risk a post watering erection or not.

I think we need a photo op

Thanks OP that made me laugh.

We are considering getting a plant in the office. Could we see a picture of your Saucy Cactus for erm research purposes?

TIA

I don't know what to say, OP, or whether I should or at Penis Plant.

However, I am excellent at killing pot plants, and happy to offer my services.

I really wish I could give you a picture, but I am totally without a device that could do that at work. I'll try typing penis cactus into google though....wish me look.

Yeah ...we're going to need a photo I'm afraid op

wish me luck...

Dont' type that into a work computer!!!!

Oh GOD MY EYES

okay so it isn't a cactus....its a succulent. I am not typing in penis succulent flower into google at work.

its one of the standard Sainsburys small succulents - I mean who knew Sainsbo's sold such pornographic material?

So its a bit like this....but lighter green, only one penis, a shorter stem and the head is still closed making it look like...well.... a penis.

I know which one you mean, DS once came back from a trip to the garden centre with a well meaning relative with one as a gift. He was 7 I think at the time.
It wouldn't die either. I tried...

It's flowering!

My DD has a cactus it's nice she loves it so much she drew a picture and showed me whilst i was working by putting the paper over the pc screen. I burst out laughing she then looked at the picture, she noticed what it looked like and ran away crying an put said picture in the toilet. Had to wait ages so it wouldn't block the toilet

What about this cactus!

oh I know....there are many worse examples out there...but they weren't poking up all full of the joys of spring in my face all afternoon.

I saved this one from a watery death at a garden centre. It was small and round.

It rewarded me by growing an appendage.

Thank you, this made my day!

So, I guess you all don't call marijuana "pot?" I was very surprised reading the thread title that you were allowed to grow that type of plant at your office.

Here we'd say potted plant, not pot plant.

steff you just reminded me of the time my neighbour found some cannabis plants dumped in her garden, she phoned the police to say someone had thrown some weed in her garden and they told her to phone the council. So she told them she meant pot plants, they said council again. I was sat in the kitchen listening to her shout "No! Pot plants like pot plants, not pot plants!" repeatedly down the phone she was furious when she found out what the street value was though.

Is this what you mean OP? I just got the shock of my life when I checked my spiky children to find one was swearing at me.

Yup, another person chucking about a pot plant in your office and maintaining professionalism ;)

steff ooops...yes that would be a whole lower level of professionalism altogether.

I wouldn't mind so much, but I am the diversity and equality rep, and I just can't be having penile potted plants on my desk.

Happily the offending appendage has grown another inch or two over night so it looks massively less suggestive today.

Wall, that is awesome!

previously that looks very like a statue that's just been installed in the next building to mine. I don't know what they were thinking!