Co-sleeping and bbc news. Irresponsible reporting?

[thedcbrokemybank]

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-39381265

This article on the BBC news apparently highlights the dangers of co-sleeping. However it reports on a poor woman whose baby apparently died from a brain injury at birth although the coroners report, apparently unfairly, states sudden death associated with co-sleeping. There is no clarification of the definition of co-sleeping. This lady accidently fell asleep on the sofa.
It highlights "dangers" but doesn't actually give any facts about what these dangers may be. They had an opportunity on giving out info on safe co-sleeping but chose instead to focus on someone else's suffering.
Lazy reporting from the BBC?

I've coslept from birth with my second, having fought against it for months with the eldest.

I followed safe cosleeping guidelines and she is still in with us aged 2. No way can I face getting up multiple times a night to resettle when I can nurse her back to sleep while barely waking.

I wish the NHS would share good bed sharing practice so that parents were more likely to do this safely, rather than sleeping on the sofa or other scary stuff.

We cosleep, following all the safe sleep guidelines. I've read the research and I don't believe it to be any more risky than other methods of sleeping. I've told my health visitor and my GP and they both agree.

Sorry x posted. Spring that last is wishful thinking. It depends on whether babies die often and mysteriously, whether parents have any contact with medical services, whether death certificates have to be issued, whether stats on this need to be collected.
My SIL lives in West Africa. She's a nurse and married to a local. Her 9 month old niece died before they could get to hospital hours away. She had a temperature of 40. It was SIL's idea to get her to a hospital. They don't know what killed her, but babies die a lot. That's the norm for many people around the world.
A friend here's 10 month old had a high temp that shot up in just an hour. The paramedics came within 15 mins and stayed with her while simple Calpol got the temp down to something less worrying. The kid's in Year 1 now.

I was sure I wasn't going to co-sleep. But when you're breastfeeding lying down because you're so tired, and you fall asleep lying down with the baby on the boob lying next to you, and he falls asleep beside you, and then you wake up half an hour later and he's lying there all peaceful on the bed and your options are:

1. Pick him up, take him back to the cot, waking him up in the process and then have to spend half an hour/an hour getting him down again

or

1. Go back to sleep.

Well ... I agree with everyone else that there are safer and less safe ways of doing it - he wasn't in between us, wasn't under a duvet etc. But yes. I was very much one of those mums who religiously followed all the guidelines and then went fuckit on this one. Because my baby's happiness, my happiness and my husband's happiness were so obviously increased by us all getting some sleep, and I decided that a definite benefit was worth a small risk.

Deaths due to co-sleeping are not, usually, SIDS. They are usually because the baby has been rolled on, or has fallen out of the bed, or has been pushed down the bed to the bottom and suffocated. None of these actually qualify as SIDS, as they are due to known cause and should not be included in SIDS stats.

There are risks, of course there are - sharing a bed with a baby AND a partner is quite risky, drinking and sharing a bed, smoking and sharing a bed, using a duvet etc.

But it is possible to minimise the risks and do it safely - no duvet, no partner, no smoking, no drinking, no sleep-enhancers, and I used to sleep with my arm straight out above the baby's head so there was absolutely no chance of me rolling on him either. However, I'm also a very motionless sleeper - if I was one who tossed and turned and wiggled about in my sleep, I wouldn't have done it at all. Couldn't take the risk.

I wouldn't advocate it for everyone, but I do get annoyed with the lazy reporting and the bollocks about including suffocation/squashing in SIDS deaths.

I think it is far more dangerous to fall asleep sitting up with the baby feeding, as the risk of you dropping the baby, or falling forward and suffocating them are, IMO, higher than if you follow the guidelines to co-sleep as safely as possible.

I couldn't have slept with any of our children as I'd never forgive myself if anything happened, but it's each to their own.
None of our children have ever been in our bed and only entered our bedroom if they were poorly.
I used to sleep on their floor if they were ill and needed me, some things like the marital bed are sacred

My lovely midwife told me how to co-sleep safely at 5 days in. Frankly I think the bigger issues are a lack of understanding about overheating and the dangers of cot bumpers which are still sold widely

I have co-slept but i would never do it with my partner in the bed. Just me and the baby, with the baby taking up the space of an adult. No duvet anywhere near them. That's the only way i would consider it to be safe

There are risks with all sleep scenarios- it's about what works for you and your baby- and what your gut instinct tells you will keep your baby safest.

In our case:

I breastfeed and cosleep with our 6mo. We also - because we live on a narrowboat which gets down to about 15 degrees at night- use a thin duvet. I used no duvet and a growbag with him- but stopped that when he turned over in it one night at around 4 months old and somehow pulled the neckline taut against his throat. Woke up to him wriggling against it. No idea how it happened but I wasn't risking it again- and have no idea if it would have led to a choking incident or not. We started cosleeping because he had mild silent reflux and would often gag/ begin to choke on his posset while sleeping- which was terrifying. He grew out of that around 3/4 months thank god.

I decided the safest thing for us, was cosleeping with myself curled around him in a C, and a thin quilt tightly tucked over our legs. He sleeps on his side, and as he's a very big baby, manages to get his leg hooked over my thigh and his hand on my face. We don't use pillows or other bedding etc. We always wake up in the same position we went to bed. I know DS does latch on and off at will in the night and I tend to wake when he does, check his nappy and make sure he's warm enough etc. But we always revert to our "position".

DP sleeps in the other cabin, as he takes strong painkillers. I dont drink after 9pm (have one small glass of wine with dinner) and I have a crib I can put him in if I feel extremely tired.

It works for us and my gut instinct tells me this is the safest way to sleep with my baby.

I think that knowing realistically the risks, and assessing them/ weighing them up is a hugely important part of being a parent. It's why I choose to feed my baby some foods and not others I don't think he can manage yet as we BLW. It's how I weigh up how many layers DS needs in his sling, and whether he's old enough to go in the bigger bath yet (DP says yes- I say no- so he doesn't).

Trust your mum instincts. Do proper risk assessments and look at what may happen, and how to mitigate that, and if you feel uncomfortable doing something- just don't it.
But don't guilt others into doing things by what can be arbitrary guidelines, given out because the NHS cannot quantify risk, or trust that all parents will have the common sense required to cosleep, drink within safe limits during pregnancy / breastfeeding, or whatever else we're all worrying ourselves silly over this week.

When I had ds 1 in 1989 our maternity unit used to do 'tuck in' so actively encouraged mums to co sleep

When I had DS in 2010, the midwife or ward nurse or whatever they were put him in bed with me in the hospital during the night, to stop him screaming the ward down, and showed me how to breast feed lying down (although I never could do that properly until he was a lot older, I think my boobs were too big). She didn't tell me not to go to sleep, or to put him back in the plastic cot thing when he had finished.

I co-slept with all 3 of mine: it was the only way to get any sleep at all. No guidelines then but we had a very firm mattress, a bed guard and the baby had their own bedding (and I was always under a summer weight quilt kept well away). You are always aware of the baby in the bed I think (as long as no drink/drugs involved) and are protective.

I gave birth last year maroon and the mw did exactly the same with me- so they've clearly not got the "cosleeping is deadly"
memo yet....

My first DC is 5 and when he was a baby bed sharing was encouraged by the NHS, I was given leaflets on my discharge from hospital that said it is great for bonding, establishing breastfeeding etc. as it happened he was a horrible sleeper and hated the moses basket/cot so I always ended up giving in and having him with me, safely and following the guidelines. With my second DC I was suprised at such a massive turn around in it now being a huge no no. Luckily DC2 has always been fine at being transfered into cot after a feed so I haved bedshared this time around but I do always chuckle to myself at the women without children who say they would never, as its a completely different story when you are so sleep deprived you cant function and thats the only way you can get any rest.

I watched it this morning and thought it was poorly researched and presented. The woman whose baby had died said in her piece that it was linked to a brain injury, yet this wasn't picked up on any further?

They were saying that many women lie to health visitors about co-sleeping. They also said that 50% of babies who die from SIDS have been co-sleeping. If co-sleeping is much more widespread than it is officially reported, then the 2nd fact doesn't really point to any link between SIDS and co-sleeping, does it? Also, as has been said upthread, a lot of deaths are reported as SIDS when they are actually suffocation, etc.

I really wish hospitals had these beds. I was not "allowed" to let DS stay in bed with me (in 2014) and I instinctively wanted him to (plus both of us would definitely have got more sleep). It just didn't feel right to have him in a separate cot.

I co-slept AND formula fed which is heavily frowned upon! I loved sleeping with ds4. I'm a single mum so he slept on the "man" side

Let's be clear the risks are very, very low for term, healthy babies with sober, non smoking middle class parents. Co sleeping isn't even recognised as a cause of death statistically by DH.

www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/birthsdeathsandmarriages/deaths/bulletins/childhoodinfantandperinatalmortalityinenglandandwales/2014

It's all a bit scaremongering but of course, people wants to reduce risks as far as possible. Taking them in a car is probably higher risk. Certainly smoking near them is more significant, as is drinking and falling asleep with them. The reduction in perinatal deaths over the past decade is more to do with way stillbirths are reported than a significant reduction in deaths related to sleeping position.

fwiw I rigidly, and feeling terrfied to do anything else, refused to co-sleep with DD for the first 8 months... this resulted in me falling asleep 'over' her on two separate occasions while I sat up in bed desperately trying to get her back to sleep so I could transfer her to her cot. I was so addled with exhaustion I didn't even really clock how dangerous this was the first time, and did it again. Shudder now to think of it, she was only a couple of weeks old and I could so easily have suffocated her with my huge post-pregnancy body slumping forwards.

Cue almost 8 more months of utter misery and sleeplessness, there were several occsions that I drove her on the motorway on only a few hours of broken sleep, which wasn't safe either in hindsight.

I cracked at 8 months and got her into bed with me (DH banished to spare room)

Best thing I ever did for my sanity. I was careful - no drinking, I don't smoke, I am a light sleeper anyway and for the first few months I kept duvets well away (She was in her gro-bag and I layered up in cardigans rather than have a duvet.)

I know the official line and I can understand it but the risks of accidental co-sleeping are too high. If your baby doesn't sleep and it's the only way you are going to avoid dropping off while feeding/cuddling them as you sit up hour after hour, I don't see an alternative. Hire an expensive maternity nurse, perhaps? Swap shifts with your partner, who may also be knackered from work/parent duties?

Confidently Co sleeping dc3 from birth, after on and off co sleeping with dc1 and secretly co sleeping with dc2.

No partner as he sleeps way to deep and would roll over. No duvets. I sleep very very light, don't drink or smoke, and never move in my sleep.

Not sure why we bought a cot. It's still looking lovely and new and unused.

Agree OP, a good opportunity to show how to co sleep safely.

Have no issues with parents not wanting to co sleep, and parents that do. Risk assessment and go from there.

When a mother who is breastfeeding and sober cosleeps with her baby, following other guidelines such as not having duvet near baby and not having baby between her and partner, the risks are no higher than having baby in a separate cot in the same room

Sorry Whimsy but that's bollocks, and irresponsible bollocks to state it as fact. It is statistically proven that co-sleeping is always less safe than a baby being in their own cot in the same room. Please read the Lullabye Trust guidance and educate yourself. www.lullabytrust.org.uk/file/-----internal-documents/Fact-sheet-Bedsharing.pdf

It's true that a lot of parents do co-sleep anyway, and that there are ways to reduce the risks, but it is foolish to pretend it's as safe as the 'gold standard' of baby sleeping - in their own cot, in the same room as their parents.

I co slept. We have a side sleeper cot, mattresses are the same level, i breast fed lying down with a quilt around my legs and a cardy on to keep my arms warm. Boy was in a season appropriate grobag or a merino wool swaddle cocoon thing. I breastfed lying down and usually moved him back to his bed when he'd had enough. Will do the same with the next one due soon.

I apologise if I have stated out of date figures. I read several sources in the past, but it was a few years ago and I'm speaking from memory. I have most definitely read research stating that the risks were comparable.

However, I stand by the point that breastfeeding and cosleeping following guidelines is a lower risk, and a significantly lower risk than accidental cosleeping. Everyone will have to evaluate their level of acceptable risk.

I don't do it have never needed to do it but I can see that when guidelines are followed it can be a perfectly acceptable thing to do . Obviously this woman fell asleep on the sofa which was not ideal but her baby did not on the face of it die because of that

It would be far safer to equip people with safe co-sleeping facts. The lack of acceptance that desperate people will co-sleep and that that leads to issues is something that infuriates me.

It should be common knowledge that if you bring your baby into your bed they don't go in the middle.

I managed to not co-sleep until my baby became a toddler (she's now two and occasionally I'll bring her in beside us if she wakes up too early). So I don't know why people are saying "what mother hasn't done this". I know plenty.

I do understand there are ways to minimise the risk. But I couldn't do it. I am not in control when I'm asleep. I could accidentally roll on top of the baby, fling him/her out of the bed with an arm or whatever.

But then I didn't breastfeed, so the baby was never really in my bed anyway.