...to find holidays stressful & over-rated (as a single parent)

[mermaidofthewestside]

I'm sitting here on the verge of tears after just putting my son to bed. We are on holiday. I'm a single parent & he is 3.
I am utterly exhausted & thought it'd be fun to get a cheap flight away for a week. It is not fun. I am stressed, tired & have nobody to 'mind' him while I go for a walk or whatever... He's just clambering on me & demanding that we 'have more fun' all day long & I'm missing my job, friends & home like mad!
I sound horrible. I'm really not. He's a gem & when we are at home we both have time to do our own thing - him at nursery/play dates, me unwinding with friends in the eve.... This is just intense! He never sees his dad so he & I are together a lot....
My boy wound me up this eve & I shouted at him & we both ended up in tears.
I should have learned my lesson after the last holiday.
I wish I wasn't single.
I wish I was at home.
Asked a few people to come away with us but nobody could.
I have put a lot of energy into making the last two days as fun as can be...another week to go...
Am I being unreasonable & a horrible mum? Probably.

dailymailarecunts & Meg
Your posts really made me smile.
In fact everyone's posts have made me feel less insane & more positive.
I'm not going to do this again (just the two of us) for a few years...
We spent the day on the beach today & he was so happy just picking up shells & 'treasure' - simple pleasures :)
I'm gonna try not to get too 'MUST HAVE FUN' about it all.
You all rock. Thankyou X

Take the pressure off yourself and lower your expectations massively. He'll probably be happy with an ice cream and some time with you, you don't need to worry. It does get easier as they get older. Think about what you can get out of the holiday, even if that's just catching up on a bit of sleep and recharging your batteries

I feel you! I've had very similar 3 year old holiday experiences too. Essentially I think they can't handle the huge upheaval to their routine that a holiday brings and go loopy. I've found usually the penultimate day is when they finally settle down into it and this this improve but I've been on my knees with stress and exhaustion by then.

We went to butlins last week. Something I would never have done pre DC. He loved it but it was still stressful. But better second half of the week. I don't think I'd bother taking him on proper holiday on my own. I'd probably lose my marbles if I did .

You could try finding a child minder for two hours a day to have a break. They're called Canguros and there are usually adverts up in lots of places or ask the hotel. That might give you a wee bit of respite x

Omg! I totally remember this ! Remote mainland Greece when he'd just turned 4 - no English speakers I was supposed to stay a fortnight and came home after a week. My advice do a frozen n let it go.... Do very small things and tell him they are fun. Wander around n play in play parks n sleep a lot. Are there no other little ones?

Thing is it does get better I did family adventure holidays for a few years which were amazing from 6-12 and active stuff like diving too in early teens

Only thing is mid teenage I'd say forget it as really more pain than fun - that said I'm going away with another mum n her son this year at 16 n expecting a whole new sort of crazy .... After that - never again!

Oh n good luck and

No advice beyond the excellent suggestions already given, but I have so much respect for you. I have a small baby (non mobile) and my partner works away a lot. I find solo parenting so relentless so I am full of admiration for anybody doing that for more than a couple of days, especially when it involves being away from home routines and comforts.
You genuinely sound like you're doing a decent job, and would it really be a holiday without at least one frustrated outburst?

yes took DS aged 3 to Greece many years ago as a single mum. The first couple of days felt like forever. It was so lonely. He loved the pool the beach, his inflatable, his fishing net, the boat trip, but I just felt v lonely, esp at night. It was just a few apartments, no parents or kids his age. But we made two holiday friends and they really saved us. I was glad to get home though.

Went on holiday just with him last year aged 11, to an AI in Spain and it was great.

Oh God, I hated holidays with ds when he was small and I have someone around to help out! All the crap and none of your usual equipment or supports. My mother booked a lovely holiday for us, so kind of her but the apartment was actively dangerous - think marble open stairs, unfenced pool... barely relaxed for 30 minutes the whole week.

Good choice not to do holidays until he is older. It gets way, way better. But think holiday camp/camping with other families and other kids.

remember op; with mumsnet you are never alone

It's hard taking children on holiday even with other adult support - hats off to you for even contemplating it by yourself!
No advice really, but like another poster said, if you can keep it low-key it might feel easier. I think I'd try to stick to his normal routine re bedtimes and naps ( if he still has them) so at least you can relax a bit then, even if it is by yourself.
I have to say I haven't enjoyed holidays so much since I had children - even teenagers take time and effort when you'd rather be doing what you want. Best ( as in relaxing and doing what I want) holidays I've had since having children have been going away with friends but no kids, and then after that, going with friends who have DC of similar ages. It's so frustrating looking at the sea/lovely pool and not being able to go for a proper swim yourself because there's no-one to watch DC.
Anyway, you've done well even attempting this by yourself. Don't set the bar too high.
Hope the rest of the week turns out OK.