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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this is sexist?

22 replies

StudentMum92 · 28/03/2017 06:39

DP is a primary school teach and HAS to wear a shirt and tie everyday regardless of such things as the weather. Where as women are allowed to wear pretty much what they want.

If the headteacher was to say all women have to wear skirts or heels there would be an outcry! So why is this sexism allowed towards men?

OP posts:
Iggi999 · 28/03/2017 06:40

Well what does his union say?

StudentMum92 · 28/03/2017 07:07

He hasn't spoken to them, I would like other views on the matter.

OP posts:
Railgunner1 · 28/03/2017 07:09

Women can wear what they want? Really?

Faithless12 · 28/03/2017 07:09

Does it say business attire i.e. Shirt and tie for men and equivalent for women or does it not give a dress code to women?

TheNaze73 · 28/03/2017 07:10

It doesn't sound right at all. That was the norm in the 70's & 80's & was wrong then.

StudentMum92 · 28/03/2017 07:11

I thinks it's supposed to be 'smart' which includes tops, blouses, cardigans, jumpers, skirts, trousers, shorts. Why should a man have to wear a shirt and tie because he is a man?

OP posts:
ForalltheSaints · 28/03/2017 07:13

There should be a period of time in the summer term where ties are not needed.

picklemepopcorn · 28/03/2017 07:14

Is it ageist that the children have to wear a shirt and tie and the adults don't?
Business wear for men is shirt and tie. Business wear for women is a bit more varied.

It is easier for a man to wear a shirt and tie than it is for a woman to get 'business wear' correct, as the posts about managing women's necklines and cleavage in the office shows.

Railgunner1 · 28/03/2017 07:15

What would happen if he wore no tie sometimes?

Do children have uniforms?

Brokenbiscuit · 28/03/2017 07:15

Since when did "smart"include shorts?Confused

CrohnicallyPregnant · 28/03/2017 07:15

When you say 'has' to wear, is this written in a formal dress code, or has he tried not wearing a shirt and tie and been reprimanded for it?

Having seen and spoken to various male teachers, I know a few who choose to wear a tie as this puts them in work mode for the day, or because it was expected of their teachers when they were at school. I can see that a newcomer might think they had to wear a tie (as that's what everyone else is doing) when actually, they can choose not to.

For the women, there is more variation in clothes so doesn't give the same impression of a 'uniform'.

Anyway, I have also seen various male teachers wearing less formal clothes- chinos, open neck shirts, even t shirts and tracksuit bottoms depending on their role and the timetable for the day. So if it is a formal requirement at your DP's school, it's the exception rather than the rule.

TizzyDongue · 28/03/2017 07:16

Does it specify shirt and tie?

Why are skirts and heels to female equivalent of shirt and tie by the way?

RaisinsAndApple · 28/03/2017 07:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AprilTheGiraffe · 28/03/2017 07:16

I wish it was as easy as a shirt and tie for women. I find it so difficult. Men are lucky, everything is easier for them! Wedding? No problem! Suit or kilt.

StudentMum92 · 28/03/2017 07:22

Yes he has to wear a shirt and tie, no variations.

OP posts:
tigerdriverII · 28/03/2017 07:27

UK schools have bonkers ideas about dress/uniform. The idea that encasing teenagers in polyester monstrosities that are ill fitting, sweltering or freezing is "good for them " and instils discipline is ludicrous. As is detention/isolation for minor uniform transgressions (DS's friend spent a day in isolation for wearing the wrong socksHmm).

In business, ties are dying out for everyday wear. So whilst I don't think that applying a balanced dress code is necessarily sexist, I think an insistence on ties is anachronistic.

The uniform regime at DS' school (secondary) is bizarre. The students are thoroughly punished for these minor transgressions and not "looking smart". Meanwhile his head of year (female, youthful) looks like she's dropped in from freshers' week, she's all converse, leggings and multiple layers of vests and jumpers with scruffy hair, his English teacher (male, not very youthful), rocks in in a Vivienne Westwoodesque suit and piercings and the pastoral care person ( female, not youthful and reasonably well padded), wears leggings, long shirts and over the knee boots, a la T May. All of them look great: none of them wear conventional "business attire", and none of them are encased in cheap polyester. The two less youthful ones would blend into modern business settings easily: the studenty one less so.

He needs to get them into the 21st century! What a boring example he's being made to set.

stumblymonkeyremix · 28/03/2017 08:20

TBH it's very out of date...I work in The City and even here a lot of companies no longer require ties.

I do think it's a bit sexist TBH. I would not be happy as a man to have to wear a shirt and tie in the heat of summer. I believe all dress codes should be revised to smart/business casual.

Surely we're at the point now where we can agree that within reasonable limits what we wear doesn't impact the work we do.

MumBod · 28/03/2017 08:29

It probably is, yes, but I'm of the probably unreasonable opinion that if that's the worst men have to put up with, they're getting off pretty lightly, so suck it up, buttercup.

Crumbs1 · 28/03/2017 08:34

Is it sexist, probably but then if the school have a published dress code it's tough luck. It's not unreasonable for a head to ask teachers to uphold dress standards if they expect children to wear uniforms and dress appropriately. My husband has worn a shirt and tie every day (not on holiday, in fairness) for thirty years, it hasn't killed him yet.

Iggi999 · 28/03/2017 18:39

I find this kind of discussion pointless if the person in question doesn't want to find out if the request can reasonably be made of them or not. Is it sexist to impose a dress code on one sex and not another? Yes I think so. Is it enforceable by the employer? I suspect not but he might have a fight on his hands (or they might roll over straight away). We are hardly in a position to tell.

blackteasplease · 28/03/2017 18:41

It's men setting these rules for men anyway, not women.

Bestthingever · 29/03/2017 07:09

Every school I've ever worked in has had the same rule. I wish there could be a similarly clear cut rule for women as the way some female staff dress is ridiculous.

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