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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

WIBU to have not vacated my seat and stood on a crowded bus to make way for a buggy?

58 replies

Janey50 · 27/03/2017 17:45

I got on the bus at 2.30pm today. It was packed. I am disabled,use one or sometimes 2 walking sticks (I have rheumatoid and osteoarthritis in multiple joints and fibromyalgia) so my heart sank. Luckily a kind lady offered me her seat. Unfortunately,this seat was right next to the wheelchair/pushchair space, on one of these badly designed buses, whereby if you sit in one of these seats,your legs are in the way of a second buggy getting on. There was already one buggy there,a large double one. Another (single) buggy boarded at the next stop. The mother looked at me and said 'Can you move'. I said 'Where to? There are no empty seats down here'. She huffed and rolled her eyes and said 'Go upstairs then'. Just then the man sitting behind me piped up 'Excus me,the lady's disabled,why should she have to go upstairs?' I then said to the woman with the buggy 'Sorry but I can't stand up on a moving bus'. I have balance problems and weak wrists and fingers and find it almost impossible to hold onto a pole on a moving bus. She said mo more but continued to give me daggers glances and tutting and huffing every time someone had to squeeze past her buggy stuck out in the aisle (which tbh I'm surprised the driver allowed). The woman with the buggy made me feel like IWBU. Was I?

OP posts:

expatinscotland · 27/03/2017 18:36

Why should people give up their seats so a second buggy can get on?

Blueemeraldagain · 27/03/2017 18:39

YWNBU!
If I'd been sat near you I would have offered you my seat so the buggy could squash in.

expatinscotland · 27/03/2017 18:41

'or someone more able on the bus could have offered you a seat a little further back to help accommodate a parent and a disabled user'

Someone offering their seat would still mean the OP would have to get up and move on a moving bus, which she says she can't do.

ohfourfoxache · 27/03/2017 18:42

Ignorant bitch

Yanbu at all

MamaHanji · 27/03/2017 18:47

As a mother of 2 who doesn't drive so uses bus with a buggy regularly, and the partner of someone with fibromyalgia and arthritis, YWNBU at all!! Please do not feel guilty. They are both 'invisible illnesses' so people can assume things when it's in fact the opposite. Buggy users like that, give us all a bad name! She was a rude cow.

FormerlyFrikadela01 · 27/03/2017 18:48

ohfourfoxache why is she an ignorant bitch? Of course op inbu and yes the woman shouldn't have huffed and given evils bit that doesn't make her an ignorant bitch. If anything everyone assuming she could fold the buggy is being ignorant, her child could be disabled, she could be disabled.

Spikeyball · 27/03/2017 18:48

Meek some children who can walk still need pushchairs.

WannaBe · 27/03/2017 18:50

I've been sworn at before because my guide dog was in the disabled space meaning the buggy couldn't get in. I've also had someone deliberately run over my dog's paws with a buggy rather than ask if I could move him enough so they could get in.

Buggies on busses should either be banned or folded. And let's not assume that the child in the buggy might be disabled or that the mother might have had a bad day. I can assure anyone that my dog was having a bad day by having its paws rammed into by an entitled bitch with a buggy. The majority of buggy owners are a nightmare and need to get over their sense of entitlement. Those disability seats weren't placed there for buggies, they were put there for wheelchairs. I will move for a wheelchair but not a buggy. She can walk as far as I care.

ohfourfoxache · 27/03/2017 18:52

Op explained why she couldn't stand and she continued giving evils and huffing and puffing. Totally uncalled for and completely ignorant.

WateryTart · 27/03/2017 18:56

If anything everyone assuming she could fold the buggy is being ignorant, her child could be disabled, she could be disabled.

Given how mouthy she was I'm sure she would have mentioned that.

RedBugMug · 27/03/2017 18:59

the lady with the pushchair was reasonable to ask if op can move, and op was nbu to decline.
bus driver was vvu for letting second pushchair on unfolded.

Dontactlikeyouknowme · 27/03/2017 18:59

I don't think buggies should be banned on buses.

I catch the bus most days plenty of buggies on there. There's rarely any fuss or bother.

pipsqueak25 · 27/03/2017 19:07

be reassured op yanbu. just because you can't see a diability doesn't mean you don't have one.
when i was heavily pregnant i got on a crowded commuter train and asked the man nearest to me if i might have his seat, he looked at my bump and then looked away so i said loudly 'i'll have to sit on your lap if you don't give me a seat !' much sniggering from other people listening, he promptly stood up and got off at the next stop ! cheeky fecker me !

harderandharder2breathe · 27/03/2017 19:09

yadnbu and I'm glad someone stuck up for you!

Wando1986 · 27/03/2017 19:11

Prams/buggys should be banned on buses unless they can be folded. Frankly I don't give a toss if your child is asleep or not or whatever other reason. If it doesnt fold and go in the storage space, sod off. Some of the ones getting on I have seen are like tanks. You DO NOT need something that size to cart a baby around, it's a fashion choice, nothing else. Get a baby carrier and a lie flat umbrella buggy.

MadisonAvenue · 27/03/2017 19:15

YWNBU. What a rude woman.

I usually catch a bus once a week and I feel so annoyed when I see buggies taking up space and people having to stand. The buses are poorly designed to accommodate them, the mother will sit on a double forward facing seat with the buggy or pram in front of her which subsequently blocks off the three fold down sideways seats.

MamaHanji · 27/03/2017 19:30

Wanda lie flat umbrella buggies are not suitable from birth. What's with being so fucking venomous. I've never been rude to someone on the bus about my right to have a buggy on it as obviously wheelchairs and disabled users are priority.

And wannabe i have really painful hips since having babies and have osteomalacia which on some days causes walking to be very painful. I'm not disabled and Sometimes i have to go somewhere and I need to take the bus as walking is painful. So I can't just fucking walk. Just as free to use the bus as you are, providing there is space for my pushchair!

Dontactlikeyouknowme · 27/03/2017 19:30

I do give a toss that there are spaces for buggies on buses. i think it's a brilliant idea.

We don't live in the bad old days anymore.

Dontactlikeyouknowme · 27/03/2017 19:33

I can imagine some of the miserable fuckers on this thread with their tutting and huffing at anyone with a buggy daring to get on a bus.

originalbiglymavis · 27/03/2017 19:33

'cant you stand?'
'I wish I could, love'

I agree with pp - probably tired, pissy and up her own arse.

olderthanyouthink · 27/03/2017 19:36

Why didn't someone else sitting in a suitable seat just let the OP Have their seat?

LivingInMidnight · 27/03/2017 19:37

pip how do you know he was OK to stand? If someone spoke to me like that I'd feel obliged to give you my seat to avoid the fuss, but I'm also unable to stand!

Janey I actually ended up completely changing my journey times to avoid situations like that. You're definitely not being unreasonable. I'd guess if the seat was near the front it was probably a priority seat to begin with, not that that makes any difference.

Laurapalmer90 · 27/03/2017 19:39

YWNBU at all! She was really rude and just sounds entitled. It's good that someone stuck up for you as well.

UptheChimne · 27/03/2017 20:50

The woman with the buggy made me feel like IWBU. Was I?

No, you weren't. She was very rude.

You should not have to explain yourself to an able-bodied young person, who could have folded her buggy.

WayfaringStranger · 27/03/2017 21:06

OP, YANBU at all. Arthritis, of all varieties is so painful and disabling.

pipsqueak your story isn't nearly as witty as you think. Before my disability became visible, if a sarcastic individual had targeted me personally, I'd have devastated. I am now visibly disabled with crutches and don't always get offered but I ask nicely. I never target one person because they may have their own needs.

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