to ask how to handle this;my child (7)hurt another child

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Brief summary:lots of boys playing boisterously at a party I'd organised,parents present. A boy got hurt: bruising to leg just below knee,he was quite upset,I gave him some Calpol (with his mum's permission) to try and help and thought it looked like a bruise consistent with banging his leg
At school today the boy's mum pulled me aside and said that her son had told her later that my son had punched him in the leg,and another child had backed up the story.I apologised and said I would have a word with him,and said he can be a bit rough but rarely deliberately harms anyone (except his brothers )but that it definitely would be dealt with.
DS admitted he was responsible and that he accidentally tripped up the boy and did not punch him. I do actually believe him as although he does fight sometimes he always admits it and says what he has done.The boy involved is a very sensitive ,calm boy, not someone who would provoke any sort of fight and an unprovoked punch seems very unlikely.
What do I say to his mum?I've already said sorry but do I now say it wasn't deliberate ,it was just an accidental trip or would that piss you off if it was your son that had got hurt?

He definitely needs removal of privileges as well. It is true that telling the truth is a good thing. It is a terrible message that telling the truth means you avoid punishment. I would be encouraging my son to understand that I am proud he told the truth in the end, but he deliberately hurt someone and he lied about it, and there are consequences to that.

It sounds as though he needed encouragement or to be in a safe environment to tell the truth so I wouldn't punish him on the basis of not telling the truth until later. I would praise him for being brave and telling you and explain that you will be doing x and/or want him to y.

I would get your ds to apologise face to face and take a favourite tv programme away from him for the day. It was punch, not a beating. What Allthewaves did would be too harsh in this context as it isn't bullying and I assume your ds is younger than hers was. If it really is a one off, I do think this is enough. He's 7 and it sounds as if he's not normally a violent child and acted out of character. He's a child and sometimes these things happen.

I'm a bit worried about him hurting a smaller, younger child.

Has he explained why? What was he feeling at the time?
He knows he shouldn't have done it. I'm sure he knows you are cross and shocked.

You need to know why, so you can help him make sure it doesn't happen again. That will help you work out the consequence, too.

pickle he probably did it in the heat of the moment because he's 7! It's not an excuse, it's just the way young children can be. They have poor impulse control. It's then up to us to teach them how to control themselves and why - at 7, he undoubtedly knew it was wrong, which was probably why he lied. He knew he'd get in trouble.

I think a lot of posters here either don't have young children or have forgotten what they can be like. Hurting a younger child isn't necessarily indicative of anything sinister.

I remember spitting on a photo when I was about the same age. I was immediately mortified because I had no idea why I did it. Still don't. Sometimes actions from small kids don't make sense.

Exactly Felicia. He's little.

I agree with your punishment but I would tell him that the loss of privileges is not for hitting the other child but for lying about it. Emphasise that telling the truth always results in a lesser punishment than committing the transgression then lying. The letter is a better punishment for violence as it is directly linked to the crime.

not that I have a bigger problem on my hands ,which is my/our underlying concern.

if there is a long term pattern of this, its something to be concerned about.

But a one-off / occasional outburst is just being 7 years old. Though it does need dealing with!

Absolutely, but there is usually a reason and it's worth knowing what it is. I'm not a great one for punishments, I prefer using consequences, and it's easier to choose a consequence if you know the root of the behaviour.

OP was surprised, so it's out of character. Worth asking, surely?

Starry

I initially thought punish for the lying but took a step back. He owned up. It just took a while. My dd used to be like this. Not about lying but about apologising for snatching stuff or for accidentally hurting a friend in play as little kids are clumsy. If I'd have punished her for not apologising in my time line, she probably still wouldn't be good at apologising. It wasn't her being stubborn, she just couldn't handle doing it as she's an emotional child and it was too frightening until she'd gathered herself together and sometimes it was the next day when we saw her friends.

Oh, totally worth asking! Just be aware that the answer might well be 'I don't know'!

Update:card written,sent into school( not given in person due to pick up/drop off/ clubs etc) ,message from other mum to say thank you from her son to DS for apology.
Consequences re. iPad /TV to continue at home until after weekend,to re-inforce message .
Explanation not really clear , but knows it will absolutely not be tolerated again.
No previous record of similar outburst ,no fights at school/sports,just sibling squabbling.
Have reviewed parenting,very good point made about looking at sibling dynamics and keeping on top of how they treat one another at home and learning boundaries, making sure no-one dominates (tendency for passive DS2 being taken advantage of by DS1 & DS3) .
Thank you all.