To only have one child due to pension worries?

[AntiHop]

We have 1 dd. I'd always pictured trying for a second. I'm nearly 40 so time is not on my side. Dp has no pension at all as a result of being self employed long term. He's going to start one very soon. I only started mine in my mid 30s. We'll be paying off our mortgage well into our 60s.

We'd planned to start ttc soon but I'm really worried about the lack of pension.

I've always wanted 2 children but I'm thinking that the financially wise thing would be to stick with one. I'd be heartbroken to only have one child though.

Am I over thinking this? Is this a ridiculous reason to change our plans to try for another child?

We have chosen only to have one for various reasons, but a big one is finances. It's not a superficial reason at all. Given the way the world is shaping up, financial security is a wonderful gift to give your child.

The income threshold for a full loan is about £40k. Why?

Is this what you believe life has become? Scrimping and scraping in our working years to pay for a retirment that might never come?

It probably will come though. Most of us will get old, and will also have to stop work at some point. There seems to be a sizeable group of people who like to think they are invincible and will work full time until they conveniently drop dead at the first sign of any ill health. At the same time, they avoid saving anything into a pension because they might "drop dead at any time" and lose it all (which they won't - DC pension pots will go to your next of kin/whoever you nominate, and DB pensions will usually provide a lump sum death grant). People will twist anything around in their heads to avoid saving for a pension.

I am 57 and have just been diagnosed with stage 4 ovarian cancer. It is highly unlikely that I will reach retirement age - along with a whole load of other people who will also die in their 50s/60s/70s.

It is a huge consolation to me that my DCs have each other to rely on. I would be even more sad if I had only one child.

It's also a consolation that I have focused on boosting my pension post over the last 10 years or so, and they won't be left destitute.

Income threshold for a full loan is around £25k with a sliding scale down to around £42k for enhanced loans.

OP - it sounds like having just one child isn't what you want emotionally. I think you would regret not having a second. You'll cope with whatever life deals at you, and if your children won't always miss out. I've said no a lot to my children, but when we're able to say yes, it's so appreciated. Plenty of their friends will have lots of opportunities and material goods, but plenty won't. The sports trip to Spain that DC1 didn't go on was a big deal . . . until the trip had happened and everyone was back home and it was forgotten about.

And think about your child too.... having a sibling now, and having one to share the care and love of elderly parents has to outweigh that pension pot....

It is a huge consolation to me that my DCs have each other to rely on.

Sorry to hear about your diagnosis, Twitter.

twitterqueen

My db is a drug addict and has been for the past 30 years. He does not "share the care and worry of elderly parents", he adds to it. Once they're gone I doubt we will have each other for comfort and support, rather I suspect he'll be a millstone round my neck.

Does that mean I only wanted one child - not at all. I desperately wanted ds1 to have the experience and support of a sibling, in childhood at least. But I don't kid myself that a sibling is some kind of universal panacea, quite the opposite - they are a gamble.

Thanks Tulips and Barbarian

I don't believe you can ever really rationalise having none, one, two, three etc, children.

If you add up all the costs, the sleepless nights, the homework / friendship / exam / uni stress I don't think anyone would ever have a child!

Go with your gut OP. That's always my advice to my DCs on pretty much everything.

I've often said a lot of people give more thought to what car to have or where to go on holiday than whether they have children. Good for you, OP.

Bringing children into this world should not be taken lightly (they don't ask for it, after all), it's an expensive business and people should really look at their finances before going for it. My parents could barely afford me, so they stuck at me. Good for them.

When I did Parkrun a few weeks ago, waiting for DH by our bikes to cycle home, I watched a couple in their early 30s with their very expensive running kit and super-expensive bikes. DH and I remember a time before our DC when we might have been that couple with expensive hobbies, but realised we are a couple with expensive hobbies, namely DC1, DC2 and DC3. As with any hobby, they bring a lot of enjoyment, cost us a lot of money, we learn a lot through them, they leave us exhausted at times and bring out the best in us and have helped form the people we are today.

I have to admit, my two DD have such completely different personalities, I can't imagine having stopped at DD1.

They are still very young, but very, very close. Their closeness and friendship brings me immense joy.

Two children will be needed to fund your state pension and public services without each having a crippling tax burden.

The UK has a declining birth rate.
Have another kid and enjoy yourself

Surely you and your partner have paid NI over the years? If so, then you'll get a state pension too?

Presumably you will get a full state pension, so are your concerns about not having much of a private pension? My experience has been that you can save very hard into pension funds but unless you have a really high income you don't get much out of it - around £5k pa per £100,000 saved. Lots of pension savings = a little bit extra money, second baby = lots of joy forever.

So sorry about your diagnosis TwitterQueen1

I suspect many of us won't 'retire' as the current generation do. I'm anticipating always working in some form or another, so hope to not be reliant on a pension from 60odd.

And yes, what Ta1kinPeace said