To be very sad I don't get anything on Mother's Day

[user1489943514]

I'm a single mum to a 4 year old boy. Obviously he's too young to know what Mother's Day is.

I've no family so no one to buy me a gift from jinx

I don't feel down about spending Christmas or Birthday without a present but I admit Mother's Day gets to me. I feel sad and lonely on the day and dread it each year.

Is anyone else the same.

AIBU?

There are several Mother's Day crafty things going on in my area. Something as simple as if you take him to toddler group they will usually be painting daffodils or some such activity, but lots of more structured Mother's Day events where you can take your little ones along and they'll make you something while you have a coffee.

Something like that?

YANBU. I think it's like christmas in some ways, the idea of how it should be. I see in my mind a loving family cuddling mum in a perfect white bed, huge smiles and tea and toast and flowers.

It isn't like that I know. But I want it so bad!

You are going to get lots of people saying they don't believe in it and get over yourself.

Not me. It makes me sad every year. One if dc is disabled so can't do it.
Wobbly relationship with OH who have realised also has the SN so he just doesn't see importance of it no matter how much I tell him. Also depressed and selfish so that makes them super fun to live with right now.

Is shit shit shit. I have to work so hard with dc1 and fuck all recognition or downtime. Never get a lie in. Never get A break.
I hear you

for you OP.

I think maybe try to change your perspective a little, and just have the loveliest day possible with your boy. My baby 'made' me a card at a Children's Centre- you could maybe explain the day to your DS and give him some bits to make a card? Tomorrow I just want to spend time with my son, so we're going for a walk on the beach.

I hope that you manage to have a happy day

And yes. You can make an effort to make it a super fun day with your child. I think the point is though, it is you making the effort again.
It would be nice not to do it for once.

Op even if you are skint you can go for a walk together, if your making a cake you could take it out with you for a picnic

good post painting

My girls have always been banned from getting me anything for Mothers' Day.
It's a load of commercial hype when everything is twice the price it is on any other day.

I thought this thread was going to be about someone who couldn't have children.

FWIW at most churches I've been to, they give a flower to ALL the ladies in the congregation. Mothers or not. Because of all of us have mothered someone at some point.

YANBU - to me it's just a day when smug people who have it all can revel a bit more in their luck - ditto Valentine's day

Mothering Sunday is not a hallmark capitalist day - it traditionally represents the day that miners and house staff were allowed the day off to go home and have Sunday lunch with their mothers.

Glad someone acknowledged that - I was just about to say it myself!

Why not make it a lovely day for yourself and DS? No point getting down about it, ditch the chores, head out with a picnic, buy yourself some flowers, get home, scoff chocolate.

Mine are a bit older now, so I have delegated dog walking, given instruction about coffee and croissants and booked somewhere for tea. Laundry has been done today. I don't care that I've done it myself. I just want a lovely day with my kids - cards and presents from them would be a bonus - but it'll be a lovely chill out day.

It won't always be like this. Next year he'll have made a card at school, and maybe the one after that he'll have made you a present. One day, you'll be earning more, and he'll use his pocket money for a gift.

Sometimes, you just have to wheel out the old MN mantra "this too shall pass".

I totally totally get why you feel down about it.

But I can't help feeling a little bit as though Mother's Day is something else that's been hijacked by retailers and social media just to make women feel unsatisfied with their lives and bad about themselves. Like Valentine's Day. When I see these photos on FB from mums saying 'look was my gorgeous DCs got me' I wonder what really happened - I'd like to bet those mums have had huge arguments with their husbands in the past about not doing enough on Mother's Day and now their terrified husbands are pulling the stops out because they're scared stiff.

Noone's lives are the way that advertising and social media portray them.

You sound like a great mum with a lovely little boy. I hope you two have a nice day together tomorrow.

As a single parent, i think the trick of learning to enjoy all these special events days that can make you feel apart and different from two parent families, is to adjust your thinking and expectations.

Concentrate on your little family only- you're still a family even if it's just the two of you. Figure out what you can do to make it an enjoyable day for yourselves and feel the Love for each other. Forget the gift part if you can't afford to buy yourself some small treat. Have a special breakfast, (pancakes are our go to special breakfast) do something nice together, play music and a game, bake a cake, watch a film together, go for a walk, make a card for each other, smile a lot. Have a special afternoon tea with dainty sandwiches and the cake you made -or bought- at home, and maybe invite another single parent over to share it with. Get the table cloth -sarong- out and decorate the table with anything sparkly and bright.

Don't fantacise about what other families are doing- they're not necessarily having the non stop wonderful tie you think they are, and even if they are, you can make your day as lovely as you want it!

One thing dc likes to do, which is completely free, is a go for a walk and do a scavenger hunt. It's just a list of items they're likely to find in the area so costs nothing. If I am feeling slightly more creative I can make a treasure hunt with simple clues - can add a prize at the end of a few sweets.

Is there an art gallery? They often have a children's section with art materials to use. A museum? Lots are free and run activities. Anything being held in the shopping centre? Any events in the park? Any church events? (Don't have to be religious to go.)

Admittedly not amazing Mother's Day treats, but would get you out of the house.

Actually, I might knock up a scavenger hunt list now as I need to take dc out to run some errands and it's helps reduce the whining.

Bloodyfuming is right. I've never been more unhappy than I was when we were a two parent family. No one knew.

You can usually get a bunch of daffodils in the shops for a pound at this time of year if you can find them amongst all the giant bunches of Mother's Day flowers.

You could take your DS to buy some together to pretend they are from him and they'll be something cheery to look at for the next week or two.

I think making a cake, going for a walk and possibly looking at some daffodils with your DS could be the start of a good tradition.

You can explain to him that it's Mothering Sunday and that one day, when he's big enough to have pocket money, he can buy daffodils and something special to put on top of a cake he bakes.

I'm sending you and he will give you a hug. As it is in fact a day that is explioted for commercial rubbish, I'm sending you my own mam's motto. The sentiment is true - make happy memories to cherish (then try and remember them). Best wishes to you