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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Comic Relief before 9pm

292 replies

TittyGolightly · 25/03/2017 08:14

6 year old DC came out of school full of Comic Relief chatter and asked to donate their week's pocket money to the charity. Fine and dandy, we switched on at about 8pm and they showed a short film about a child and their grandmother collecting rubbish in Nairobi. DC was even keener to donate, so we texted in to donate money from all of us. Watched a couple of skits and then they showed a video of a 13 month old girl dying of malaria. Actually dying on the screen despite CPR and being put into a body bag and wheeled away. You can imagine the effect that had on a 6 year old. We've been up half the night with them having nightmares about dying babies.

AIBU to think that wasn't suitable viewing pre-watershed?

OP posts:
Isadora2007 · 27/03/2017 00:19

The child didn't die on live TV...

And last CR there was a similar clip with the lads from One Direction where the child died.

YABU to complain and our children are so very lucky they're raising money for CR and not needing it.

The comedy was crap though.

DesdemonasHandkerchief · 27/03/2017 00:46

YANBU
Our young children don't need to be educated in, and desensitised to, the tragedy in the world. There is plenty of time for that in the future. They have done their bit at school and if RND improves donations by showing hard hitting films then let them do it after 9pm, it is after all the adults watching who are putting their hands in their pockets at that time.
Before and after the hotly anticipated (and therefore peak viewing, post Watershed) Love Actually sequel was the time for the hard hitting stuff.
I assuage my guilt by making a donation early on and watching on time delay so I can fast forward through the really upsetting bits. (Although the Ed Sheeran segment managed to really get to me last night.) Would agree that the 'comedy' content was sub par this year, but I'm proud of the UK that we can raise £71m plus by the end of the night with still some way to go till we know the full total.

TheFirstMrsDV · 27/03/2017 07:22

The child didn't die on live TV...

So it was prerecorded? How is that any better? Someone filmed it, edited it, had time to discuss it and think about it and still decided it was ok to broadcast it.

YABU to complain and our children are so very lucky they're raising money for CR and not needing it

How do you know my children don't use services funded by CR? Confused

BarbarianMum · 27/03/2017 08:44

"The death of a child is a private thing"

Often, yes. But sometimes parents will decide to invite the World in, to share their grief and outrage and to try and prevent such deaths in the futurfuture. Not long ago in the UK photos of a child dying of meningitis were released to the press for exactly this reason. I'm not going to say her parents were wrong to do so.

VanillaSugar · 27/03/2017 09:07

So, what do we want the outcome of all this to be? How would everyone run RND / CR differently next year?

Suggestions please.....

TheFirstMrsDV · 27/03/2017 10:15

Photographs of a six child released by the parents are NOT the same as footage of a child dying broadcast on national, prime time tv.

FGS I have sat with my own dying child, I work in pediatric end of life care.
I am not squeamish. I deal with the death of children every day.

Lots of parents will use the death of their child to raise awareness of an illness/for accident prevention/drug use.
They chose it, they have some initial control 0f it and they are very often criticised for it.

But there has never, in my knowledge, been an incident of a family filming their child as they are unexpectedly dying and then realising it.

TheFirstMrsDV · 27/03/2017 10:23

No 1: stop perpetuating the myth that Africa is one massive disaster area full of helpless, hopeless people.

No2: Give the subjects of those films the dignity they deserve and stop looking for the Money Shot. If these big, successful charity behemoths can't set at proper standard then what hope do we have?
There are many posters on this thread who have accepted the stereotyping and patronisation of charity recipients as 'unfortunately necessary' Not for them of course but for others.
I can't see a single post on here admitting that they really need to see a dying baby before they get their money out. In fact I have been attacked for even mentioning it!
But apparently lots of people do. Who? The Plebs? The Great Unwashed? The Less Caring?

Its a nonsense. You keep treating these people as helpless and useless and you will get a response of 'well what can we do? We keep giving and they just sit there taking. these people just won't help themselves'.

Morphene · 27/03/2017 10:28

I agree with every single word of MrsDV last post.

CR really needs to go away and look at itself. Then come back with something fit for the current century.

TheFirstMrsDV · 27/03/2017 11:42

Obv
six = sick
Realising = releasing
Sorry Blush

DesdemonasHandkerchief · 27/03/2017 13:43

It's every other year so it'll be Sport Relief in 2018, let's hope them make a better fist of it!

Ticketybootoo · 27/03/2017 14:22

YANBU - completely agree with you . Am about to complain as was totally unnecessary. I have dealt with many situations in the past like that as part of my work but felt that should not have been shown before 9pm - they have lost their perspective

TheFirstMrsDV · 27/03/2017 16:16

That is an excellent phrase. I have been looking for the right way to put it but failed!

'Lost their perspective' is 100% right.

user1476428640 · 27/03/2017 17:03

@MrsDV No 1: stop perpetuating the myth that Africa is one massive disaster area full of helpless, hopeless people.
Its a nonsense. You keep treating these people as helpless and useless and you will get a response of 'well what can we do? We keep giving and they just sit there taking. these people just won't help themselves'.
well said but the big problem is number one. and that is how people perceive Africa because of media....
I must tell you that majority are very hardworking but the greatest problem is the said "fund" never get to the people (grassroot) who really needs it , it all taken at the( top) the so called corrupt politician"
but the question is if millions of pounds is been put to solve a particular problem every year and no result still is been funded apparently I will be asking question?

MumsTheWordYouKnow · 01/04/2017 09:01

My post suggested nothing like that. I was referring to general content including stuff that's inappropriate for younger age groups humour. Like using the word shag that in part of the show and some other stuff like that I thought was inappropriate for my 9 year old to watch. Sorry rather off topic. A baby should not have been showing dying on TV. However, maybe the father felt desperate that he didn't want his daughter to just die and be forgotten for nothing and he felt he wanted people to know how bad their suffering is and how unnecessary death is so common. It's not like for like really, but there should be warning. I watched that bit and was shocked they showed that. My son did too and was upset. But it is a reality of their life and what money is being raised for. We live in our cosy lives and we can't understand eqhat it must be like there without seeing something like that occasionally that is their reality and it's hard to see, but I agree with them showing it if that's what the parent wants in the hope it will raise more money and save more lives. Maybe it feels to them that doing this means their death isn't in vain.

MumsTheWordYouKnow · 01/04/2017 09:01

I mean should not have been shown without clear warnings.

TheFirstMrsDV · 01/04/2017 09:31

I simply cannot get my head round you objecting to the word 'shag' for a nine year old but being ok with a baby dying on tv.

It is bizarre that you are thinking of all kinds of ways to justify a toddler's death being show on tv (how do you know she even had a father let alone he was happy with it going ahead?) but you can't think of why bawdy humour might be used to attract viewers.

TittyGolightly · 01/04/2017 10:52

I think Mums may be muddling up 2 stories. I believe the one the father wanted showing didn't explicitly show the child's death. I haven't seen it.

The one I did see made no reference to a father and there was no introduction or comment made afterwards. It showed a child dying - convulsing and stopping breathing - actually dying on screen. Before 9pm. At a time when many under 10s would be awake and tuned in. Without any warning whatsoever.

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