"She looks like a tom boy to me!"

[Saltedcaramellove]

Literally gave birth to our second daughter a few days ago. We have no boys so just our two girls. DMIL (who only has boys) told me that she only wanted sons when we were chatting a while back. Then she told me she thought I was having a boy (we didn't find out the sex). When we sent her a pic of DD once she was born, her reply was that she "looked like a tom boy"! How can a newborn look like a tom boy? It makes me feel as though they haven't got the grandson they were most probably hoping for

white I would so LOVE to say that

Just dress her in the frilliest pinkest newborn outfit you can find and on of those headbands. Maybe paint her nails (big sisters can help!!) Then see if she is still a tomboy
Or go the other way and dress her in a dinosaur or camo baby grow. How much fun can you have?
Jesus. I actually cannot believe anyone would label a newborn that way. Weird.

Great idea with the pink frills!! That's totally happening

She's not jealous and pp saying so are just as bad as she's supposed to be

This

She wanted a girl and she's wierd and jealous that you have one.

My guess is she wanted a third and wanted a girl and she's finding it difficult.

I agree that gender jealousy is wrong and weird. It doesn't mean its not happening. Or that we're just as bad to suggest that.

Tom boy is a concept is a load of crap. Girls are allowed to like climbing trees and doing sports and still be girls.

My DNan likes boys best too and has always had a preference for my DB over me and DSis. When DSis was born she actually said 'oh what a shame'! Its never been a problem though and she does love us, she just likes boys more. Tell her 'tomboy' is a) sexist and b) a personality trait not something you could look like, and she needs to drop it because it's getting annoying now.

Should add my Nan had two boys and a girl herself, so definitely not jealousy for want of a girl.

Gosh, weird mother in law saying all the wrong things!
From my point of view when I was younger I was a tom boy. My sister and I refused to wear skirts other than for school even so I don't really see it as a bad thing actually but surely everyone is particularly sensitive to new mothers who have been through so much giving birth and tries to say only the most kind nice things to new mothers.

I like girls actually although I wanted and got a mixed family. In our family women often earn a lot mroe than men and work when they have babies so there is certainly no massive gender divide in any event.

I agree with the comment that tom boy is a silly phrase although it's been around for years. I always climbed trees, liked my pen knife, ran around a lot etc and that is something children do of both sexes. We need much much less gender divide in the UK. People are just people.

Such a bizarre thing to say...

Some (otherwise moderately sane) grandparents just have bizarre reactions. We're expecting DS2 and haven't told MIL (or any other grandparents to be fair) as she's already told me if it's another boy I have to send it back. I know she's 'joking' but I really can't deal with it now. And I'm assuming when actually faced with a new gorgeous grandson she won't say anything like that or I'll lamp her.

And my mum still tells the story of how when she was in hospital after having me the dad of the lady opposite came in, had a brief look at his new granddaughter and then said 'it's a pity she's not as nice looking as this one' (pointing at me), then proceeded to spend ages cooing over random strangers' babies until his poor daughter burst into tears and the nurses threw him out .

It's like an empathy bypass...

Silly old bag (her, not you). Congratulations on your lovely new DD.

Oh ignore the stupid old boot. We have six sons and are perfectly happy with that. MIL always wanted a granddaughter-her face when we found out that our final pregnancy was TWIN BOYS will stay with me forever as a thing of beautiful comedy! (My SIL has since had three boys too )

I wonder if she's already bought boys clothes for her and is trying to set it up so it's ok for her to wear them

Agree with PP, shut it down before it becomes a label.

Your MIL is batshit.

DD1 looked like Bernard Manning so it is perfectly possible for newborns to look like something

I'm kidding. She sounds batshit and jealous and you have a gorgeous new snuggly, peepy-eyed, curled up, squishy newborn to enjoy. Just sniff her head lots and ignore the crazy woman!

Congratulations!

salted how about pink frills this time and truck baby gro next time? Then back to frills. Mess with grandma's head

I think you can have fun with this though.

Dress her in pink frills and say fondly "she loves pink so much, I asked her to choose the outfits and she just loved this one".
Hold one of her feet and say "Look how she's pointing this one. I'm sure she'll be a dancer."
Get dh to start singing Jack and Jill, and stop him and say "Dh, that's a bit rough. Dd's so delicate it'll upset her hearing about them falling down. Sing the one about a rainbow"
Buy her a pink fluffy unicorn to hang over the bed.
Get your self a matching (pink) outfit to one of hers.
Talk about decorating her bedroom pink with fairies/ballet/something else girlie.
You can buy tiny ballet shoes.
Find lots of leaflets about baby dance and things like that and tell her how you're putting her name on the waiting list and you can't wait.

I think there's endless fun with this.

What a ridiculous thing to say! Yes, prob feeling daft with wrong prediction aswell.

Be prepared OP, she might ask you to name DD 'Thomasina'. Then she could shorten it to 'Thomas'!

Congratulations on your baby girl.

Thanks everyone! Definitely going to make a running joke of it and do all the "girly girly" stuff while granny's about! this could be quite fun actually