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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Being touched while pregnant

6 replies

Raffles1981 · 24/03/2017 12:08

I am not sure if I have totally overreacted here, but I know you guys will tell me the truth.
I work with a lot of men. One of them, who is older than me, has always been touchy with me. Not in an over the top pervert way - just tickling me, poking me in the side, nothing that has ever made me feel uncomfortable. Today, he did it and I totally freaked. Swore at him, told him loudly to never touch me like that because I am pregnant (I am 3 months) and had to walk away. I don't understand why I lost it so quickly. AIBU? is it just hormones?

OP posts:
Knifegrinder · 24/03/2017 12:15

Don't discredit your own perfectly valid response by declaring it 'just hormones' that's probably what your idiot colleague is saying in order to make you seem unreasonable. There is a widespread idea that your body becomes public property once you're visibly pregnant - and some men in particular think you are suddenly 'available' to be touched because you're now on 'maternity' rather than 'potential sexual partner' mode, so it takes out of sexual harassment and into 'legitimate touching' but you have every right to combat this.

I smacked away a hand in a lift once when I was very pregnant, and was not remotely apologetic about it.

Raffles1981 · 24/03/2017 12:29

You are so right Knifegrinder I need to stop the ''its just hormones talk'' and just tell people no. I know he got the message, I was loud and clear when telling him to not touch me like that again. But I got quite upset and shed a tear some time after. Thought I was just overreacting. Thank you.

OP posts:
honeylulu · 24/03/2017 12:41

Totally unacceptable to be touched in the workplace, pregnant or not. Only exception should be a handshake unless your job directly requires physical contact. I can't bear the current trend for cheek kissing regular clients, French and prefer to avoid if at all possible.
As far as your colleague goes a sharp "don't touch me" world be perfectly reasonable.

honeylulu · 24/03/2017 12:42

French style cheek kissing I mean, not French kissing clients!!

Doyouwantabrew · 24/03/2017 12:43

I dislike touchers either men or women. I don't like people invading my personal space. Why should you Flowers

ScarlettFreestone · 24/03/2017 12:47

I suspect that your reaction was not an "overreaction" but that your previous responses were under-reactions because you didn't want to make a fuss.

The hormones won't have caused an overreaction but they will have caused you to be less bound by the "embarrassment" factor.

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