AIBU to ask my flatmate to leave

[Verytee]

She's unemployed. Okay, I knew this when she moved in. But she's not even trying to find a job and it's been one year since she moved in. She's at home ALL time. I can't breathe. I need to be extra quiet in the morning because she gets up at 10. I'm up at 6.30. The bin is always full and generally the place is a bit grimy. The TV and lights are on all day. I'd just prefer to live with someone on the same rythm with me. The contract is up, but she's hoping for an extension.

If you can legally control whether she can stay or not, its entirely up to you as long as you follow whatever legalities are necessary.

The contract is up, but she's hoping for an extension.

is it up to you to renew it? if so - then dont

agree - just don't renew, tell her you'd rather have someone with a similar routine to you or something vague!

I'd not be happy at having to be quiet every single morning TBH.

Good grief, don't renew! How on earth does she afford to pay you rent if she's unemployed? Why should you have to creep around every morning, that's ridiculous.

If she's dossing about all day, surely she should be emptying bins and keeping the place clean! Also, your bills (heating, electric etc) must be more because she's not out at work?

Cover the legalities and find someone on the same wavelength.

The contract is up, but she's hoping for an extension

Just say No, surely?

"So Flaky flatmate, what are your plans for when your rental period here is up, are you staying local....?"

Don't renew! FFS. This is a no-brainer.

If she's not working, why do you need to be extra quiet... she can nap when your gone lol

How does she afford the rent?

Just dont renew the tenancy and both go your separate ways?

I don't know why you didn't raise the lack of cleanliness, and presumably the noise from the TV and the lights before a year and the tenancy/licence was due for renewal.

I do worry that the next renter may fail somehow to fit in with your rhythm - this is probably best explored in detail at the start of the tenancy/licence to avoid disappointment as to your expectations.

When I was flat hunting in the 1990s, I was keen to avoid just such a situation, but my landlady became unhappy I was "always around the house" (I went out a mere 3 or 4 times a week on average), that I "monopolised the kitchen" (I lived off ready made meals at the time, and was generally in the kitchen for 10-15 minutes max) and "kept her awake at night" (I listened to music and the telly on headphones - she was a chronic insomniac who would hear every squeak and breath). So it's all a matter of perspective. I distinctly got the impression she wanted the money but didn't actually want me to live there.

Depends if it is your decision or not really.

did you post about her before? Doesn't put rubbish out, pays debts of some crazy boyfriend?

Get rid sharpish.

If it's your decision if she gets an extension on the contract, then just say no. But tricker if a landlord is deciding I guess

When I was unemployed and rented a room it was made quite clear to me at the outset that my landlady didn't want someone in the house all day. Suited me fine - I was out 9-5pm job hunting and doing voluntary work. We got on fine.

How has she paid for rent without a job?

Just don't renew. And why the hell are you being "extra quiet in the morning because she gets up at 10"? I'm not saying deliberately make noise, but give and take and all that.

YANBU.

How has she paid for rent without a job?

There is such a thing called Housing Benefit.

If I was you, I'd frame it as a fait accompli -- something like:

"Since the tenancy is coming to an end, I think we both know that we'd be happier living separately. It hasn't really worked out us living together -- you are disturbed by me in the mornings, we have wildly different ideas of housework, and I think we've both spent a lot of time biting our tongues. I'm going to look for a flatmate who is on the same schedule as me. If you want, I can help you look for a place that might suit you better?"

Don't enter into a discussion about whether she can stay or not. Don't agree to an extension if she promises to change. She won't, and you'll end up feeling even more stressed and resentful.

Living with people even if they're similar is hard work. Living with people on different schedules is a nightmare. Don't renew and be clear when vetting new housemates :).

is it your flat? a tenancy? a shared tenancy? is she a lodger? need more info, but basically don't be wet... if she's a problem then whoever legally has to go should go without any tiptoeing being necessary. no idea why you would have put up with this for a year already.