Pissed off with school assembly

[FriedPisces]

I'm pretty sure IABU but I need a little big rant. I know there have been similar posts, have contributed to them (I think) but have just sat through well, stood up at the back so the more important tall parents could see my youngest DS assembly. He's 7 and in year 2. Same kids doing the speaking parts yet again, no support for children like mine who want a speaking part but aren't offered one because it might take a bit more nurturing to boost their confidence.

He told me at the beginning of the week he was taking part in a group dance for the assembly. He was pleased as punch, really enjoyed practising and the TA spotted him the next morning and said "Didn't we have a great time dancing yesterday miniFried!" He nodded and grinned at her and went into class.

Then he comes out at home time and says the teacher decided "the other group was better so we're not dancing anymore." He was really upset by it.

Last year in Year 1 he was given 2 quite long lines to say. He said them confidently, clearly and happily. I was so proud of him but more importantly he was proud of himself and it gave him a huge confidence boost. He was happy to go to school and it was great for his self esteem. (I know self esteem has to come from home as well and we do frequently tell him how clever/artisitic/imaginative/brave/funny/strong/etc etc he is).

He's taken a step back in terms of confidence with this teacher because she doesn't seem to know how to speak to him or boost him. Today after the assembly he clung to me, tearful and sad and said he wanted to come home with me. This set me off and I did cry a bit myself, not great in a busy hall and playground. Had I not had to work I would have whisked him off home I think.

I know the school has to show itself off but it would mean more to me and parents like me if they gave the less confident kids chance to grow their confidence, not put the same kids up there every single time.

Like I say, I know I'm being U and the school have a lot on their plates but it pissed me off to see him so disheartened.

(Sorry, v long. )

It is terrible really. What a way to destroy confidence at such a young age. I feel parts and lines need to be distributed more evenly. The idea of each person at least having one line sound right. Drama is about teaching kids, its not just to show off the school. We need to ensure all kids have a way to shine. I would look into a private drama class your your DC. They are more inclusive, classes are smaller and he will get his confidence boost from there. Unfortunate he can't get it at his own school though.

I often see people on these threads saying oh, it's all in your head, but I remember at my primary the same girl was 1)the head rainbow fairy person/thing 2) the Virgin Mary 3) Snow White and 4) Dorothy in the WofOz. (That's all our school plays btw ). I don't care for me, as I am a sheeet actor, but there definitely more talented people overlooked. Her mother unsurprisingly provided lots of expensive costumes for the perfectly well off school (ie they weren't desperate for donations). Her older sister got so many lead parts that the mother (cringe) donated a prize for drama 'XX Cup for Drama' WHILE the younger one in my class was still at the school, and THEN the younger one won it! I still wonder what the fuck the teachers were thinking.

Ah well I have to say I did think I was being a bit precious and oversensitive so it's nice to know I'm not alone.
Without wanting to out myself, our school is an unofficial feeder to a secondary that have a performing arts application smokescreen and practicing drama should therefore be an opportunity afforded to all kids to help them when they eventually apply to that secondary. This could actually be detrimental to him in that regard too.

Will you raise it with the school? We were given a feedback form at dcs secondary school. I filled it in and put lots of positive comments but also one thing I thought could be improved. I didn't expect to hear back (there are 1500 in the school) but actually got an email the next day from the Head thanking me for my comments and agreeing with my suggestion. (I know another mum made the same point.) The issue has improved this year. Worth contacting them.

I get every child in my class to speak in my assembly unless they ask not to.

We get a feedback form with school report at the end of the year so I'm already composing that in my head. And it's only March so it's going to be bloody epic by July!

I feel very sad for you and your DS. Poor little guy, I can just see him practicing the dance then the deflation

Life can be so unfair. Do give feedback whenever you can. We can but try to even out the worst bumps.

Definitely a word in someone's ear needed. It's easy to add lines to plays so that everyone can say something. Unfortunately, what you describe does go on a lot I think.