to ask if your skin gets thicker as you do more marketing/business development work?

[smashedinductionhob]

I've run my own business since 2004. I'm now pretty senior and have something meaningful to offer.

Now the kids are older, I'm working to scale up. I need to - I've practically no pension!

Yesterday I put in a full day with three prospective clients.

• one came back saying my rates were reasonable but two hours for the job sounded a lot

• one I've gone back to but it's taken another hour to compose the email of course...
• one was a challenging character - one I know I can match - but it's a little soul destroying to sit having your own time not valued by people who are valuing their own time so highly.

How do you get a thicker skin? Just keep doing it?

I need Xenia!

I hear you OP.

I have gradually grown a thicker skin (am naturally very sensitive) and also got a fair amount of anger at people second-guessing my rates and expertise (eg in estimating how long a project will take).

I increased my rates to cover all the faffing around (not an option for everyone I realise).

Over time I've learned that certain clients are simply not in the market for my services and I spend as little effort on these as possible before moving on. eg your first client would get "Oh that's a shame, that's my working method, best of luck with your project" (more politely and professionally obvs.). They can take it or leave it. Many of them leave it and that's fine with me. Especially the people who say they really want my services and think I'm the best person for the job, but they can't afford my rates. Ah what a shame for you, I think to myself. And I move on.

Do you have to deal with people in person? Or is it only via email/phone?

Our marketing department says that you'll roughly get one success out of ten leads in our field. So they just see the 9 rejections as progress towards number 10, hence they seem thick skinned about and don't take the rejection personally. Sometimes people like your product but it isn't a priority/they're not buying etc.

Yesterday was two meetings in person, one email exchange.

I did bond with my opposite number at the first client (I'd be taking on his overflow work). I think he doesn't necessarily have his time valued either....!

Grrrr, I should have been a [insert name of grass-is-always-greener profession].....

Prospect-who-values-own-time did say to me "how long would this job take?" and I said "it depends on your negotiating style and the negotiating style of the other side, on whether you each want to dive down into the detail with me or say "so smashed, in a sentence, should we say yes?"

But actually I need to get better at that answer. Any thoughts?

thanks lamb.

I was "word of mouth" only via the (in)famous network of the town-in-the-fens for a long time so had a 90% strike rate.

It's very hard as a woman to put yourself out there and be rejected isn't it?

put it this way, I haven't even been rejected yet and I'm already feeling squashed!