Job center telling me off for being 3 mins late

[makowhite]

When they never apologise when they call me in 20+ mins later (when I'm early) and the half an hour meetings never last more than 5-10 mins.

I'm rarely late, but seeing as the appointment is far longer than needed and they are late most of the time.

YANBU. You were only a few minutes late FGS, and they are always late.

It really makes me cross that officialdom/professionals are almost always late. Whether it's a doctor, a dentist, or a solicitor, they all think it's OK to make us wait anything from 20 minutes to a frikkin' hour, but we will be turned away if we are more than 30 seconds late. It's like they think their time is more important than mine.

And the job centre really irk me with how they treat people like poo. So no they didn't have a right to have a go at you OP, for being a few minutes late.

Some disgustingly sanctimonious comments on here by the way, from some very holier-than-thou, judgemental people.

I was briefly unemployed last year after working for 15 years straight.
I was terrified of how they were going to treat me. I'd had a brief experience 15 years before when I wasn't even getting any money (signing on for my stamp) and I was treated appallingly and they acted like I didn't want to work even though I was getting no money! They were all terrified of a number of long term clients who they didn't challenge at all and they would grill me ever visit

So last year I had to sign on - I had a great experience (as much as you could) - I dealt with the same woman who gave me lots of advice and did a lot for my confidence.
There are people who genuinely do want to help there...

I'd get the earlier bus and go and wait in the library or similar.

Sometimes it seems as though the staff don't think things through. As a single mum of two school aged children I was given 3pm as a sign-on time. I pointed out that either they or the school were going to be disappointed. They actually changed it when I pointed that out.

Another time I was kicked off a mandatory course for missing two days because I was having two minor surgeries, appointments I'd made the job centre aware of. The doctor was horrified to learn that I was going from his appointment to sign on, numb arm notwithstanding.

And then there was the time I rang them up and said I couldn't sign on, I was sick, the kids were sick. The woman on the other end demanded to know which it was, me or the kids who were ill. I said we were ALL ill. I ended up going down anyway, dripping with sweat and feeling faint.

I rebelled in small ways. My job hunting journal was written in a cursive scrawl instead of my usual neat handwriting, I wrote a list one time of each job on their site advertised in the last fortnight and a reason why I couldn't apply for each one (not a driver, not in possession of the right skills, experience or qualifications). Another time I wrote a long explanation as to why my job journal was empty; my eldest had been in and out of hospital and I'd spent days by her bedside and waiting in corridors.

But occasionally you'd get the odd one who was nice to you.

Points
Who said that I don't understand that people do and should
prioritise.

But your making out that someone who is (according to them) rarely late, makes a habit of it. Being apologetic and still getting your arsed handed to you smacks of someone being on a power trip. Not someone trying to help you.

Someone who makes a habit of it is my SIL. It annoys us, I mean she was even late for her own father's funeral. However, someone who is rarely late is my DSis. So when my DSis is late should she be treated how the SIL is treated? Of course not. You've just blanketed a fair part of the MN population of being slackers (just not so obviously), when in truth that is not likely to be the case, they are simply being sympathetic because, as you have now acknowledged, everyone is late sometimes.

It's like they think their time is more important than mine

They genuinely do think that. It's pure arrogance.

Surely it's common courtesy to be on time? After all, how can you moan on here that they're always late to see you if you don't show them respect? Take the moral high ground if nothing else. Be on time and then you can justifiably moan when they're late. But if everyone takes your attitude and turns up late regularly or just saunters in when they fancy then no-one will get seen.

I'd get the earlier bus and go and wait in the library or similar.

The tories have already closed those

You've just blanketed a fair part of the MN population of being slackers (just not so obviously) Not at all, only the ones who wrote that being 3 minutes was nothing, it's "only" 3 minutes and perfectly acceptable.

If you are late for an appointment, how am I supposed to guess if it's a common behaviour for you, or a genuine mistake? You should arrive at the building at least 5 minutes anyway, if you are on the dot you will be late by the time you find the right floor/door, give your name to the receptionist etc.

No, I didn't say everybody is late sometimes for anything. How many holiday flights have you missed? How many times have your kids been late for school? (possible bad example because some kids are always late).

It's a mindset. If being late is not an option, then you won't be late, save from very exceptional circumstances.

I had to sign on for a few weeks 5 years ago..It was an awful experience. I was told off like a naughty school child for standing on the carper, approaching a desk without permission ( to ask where to go) the advisor ( checker looking for sanctions) spoke to me like dirt till I told her I had a job and was waiting on my start date, then her attitude changed. So yes i can well imagine the attitude that came with it.

3 minutes late is not a big deal. I agree. When recruiting in the past this wouldn't stop me from hiring. However, I'm very rarely late (but it does happen). I'm also not a slacker. Some people prioritise other things above punctuality. So they don't have to be slackers even if they are late.

No, I didn't say everybody is late sometimes for anything.
I never said you did. However, you did acknowledge that people can be late and you gave examples of when you considered it acceptable.

Can I point out your coming at this with a City of London mentality. The poster explained that her bus comes once an hour (I think) and was delayed. So 3 minutes late instead 20 minutes early. A little sympathy please if you can imagine the scenario. And now you know the OP is rarely late do you view the situation differently? I bet not.

That's fine, that's your opinion, but something you think is no big deal will be seen as a big deal to someone else and imagine how you would feel if they hold that against you, if or when you make that error? Empathy is a great tool whilst you sit in judgement.

only the ones who wrote that being 3 minutes was nothing, it's "only" 3 minutes and perfectly acceptable

Nobody did write that it was 'nothing' or 'perfectly acceptable' to be late, not in the whole thread. Perhaps you can point out where those things were said.

The majority, who managed to exercise a little thing called common sense, and avoided narrow, black and white thinking, agreed with the OP that it was unreasonable to 'tell off' a person who is rarely late, for three minutes.

But if everyone takes your attitude and turns up late regularly or just saunters in when they fancy then no-one will get seen

I see nothing in the OP's post that indicates she is late regularly. She can only be responsible for herself not everyone else. It appears she makes the effort to come early and she is not treated any better.

obviously if you are looking for excuses you will find some. "rarely" means more than once, clearly unacceptable. You are late, you are late, what makes you better than anyone who turns up on time?

Me being in the city has nothing to do with anything. If I have to turn up 1 hour early to be on time, I will (and I have).

something you think is no big deal will be seen as a big deal to someone else and imagine how you would feel if they hold that against you, if or when you make that error? That's real life I am afraid, this happens everyday to everybody with a boss or clients, not always completely reasonable or even rationals. I don't have a tantrum against the unfairness of the world.

As I said, I see this attitude every day in my job. The ones who can't grow out of it don't seem to go very far in life - looking at their CVs. I do feel more and more sorry for the job center workers, not earning that much, and having to deal with the general public at its worst.

I'm not sure why you keep mentioning your job at the recruitment agency, it's irrelevant and isn't backing up any of your 'points' or strengthening your arguments. I too am involved in recruiting, in a small way (self employed, though) and I don't take the same attitude and prefer to employ a little context and common sense in my decision making.

Nobody did write that it was 'nothing' or 'perfectly acceptable' to be late, not in the whole thread. hmm Perhaps you can point out where those things were said.

I believe you were going to point out where posters said these things. No?

[people are] not always completely reasonable

No kidding. People can be bloody sanctimonious too. Lucky old them that they are placed so that their plans never fail due to dependency on others, lack of money for the earlier (more expensive) transport, lack of money or help to mind children whilst attending an inflexible timeslot, needing to be in two places close in time with a narrow window.

Are you job centre staff?

"rarely" means more than once, clearly unacceptable.
^This. And she's said that she won't get an earlier bus to ensure she's on time because there's only one an hour. If I knew I had an appointment at a certain time I'd make sure I was allowing time for likely hold-ups, particularly if I was getting a bus or knew I'd being going through areas of high (and slow) traffic.

More bright sparks on the way

It does sound like job centre staff if not recruitment agency.

Well, when I signed on everytime I was there , there was paperwork staring at me with various things they would penalise you for if you did this or that. One of the things was being late. They never said it - I guess they realised who would take the piss and who not. I was always early.

You have to realise they see a huge number of people and some really do take the proverbial!!!

This. And she's said that she won't get an earlier bus to ensure she's on time because there's only one an hour.

Then their argument could be tha tthe person would also have problems getting into work on time!

user an ex boss of mine used to make clients wait longer (about 10 minutes or so) to see him (a solicitor) every time but to make the point that he was more superior to them, being a solicitor. . His other PA told me this.

He also refused to speak to estate agents as he thought they were the scum of the earth may have had a point there.

OP, YANBU, they shouldn't be late but neither should you really even if just to prove a point.

And yes I've signed on for about 6 weeks about 7 years ago so I know exactly how demoralising it is.

Starlight that's appalling the way you were treated!

Luckily the job centre I attended briefly the staff were very nice and polite, no telling someone off etc... I was quite surprised actually how many people "like me" eg professional had had to resort to being signed off.

My only gripe was I was sent to a City recruitment agency for a "job seekers day" where they spoke to us and one "expert" tore apart and completely rewrote my CV (which was fine). I proved them wrong after that by getting temping work and then a permanent job in the space of 2 months. I also spoke to another agency re my CV and they said, no mine was much better than the revamped one the "expert" had reworked (I'd done both as an exercise).

Well if rarely means more than once and more than once is unacceptable, then this is a subject we're not going to agree on. And hopefully the OP will be employed by more sensible/forgiving people. And presumably not a 1 hourly bus service away (so no need to assume lateness).

GP Practice Manager here, and Buck3t there's many many reasons why we're sometimes late getting started. GP's are often called to palliative patients in their last days and will go as soon as they get the call. Quite often we're phoning the GP before they've arrived at work to call in on Mrs X who's in end stage terminal cancer and her family are concerned. If they need 20 minutes then they can have 20 minutes. Such is the apparent self-importance of some that they then think it's reasonable to challenge the reception staff aggressively despite the fact that they are fielding hundreds of telephone calls and dealing with people who actually need their help. So, if your GP appears a little flustered as they barrel through the door after administering a syringe driver to a dying person then please, accept my apologies on their behalf. We don't want you being slightly inconvenienced now, do we?

And, as for the three minutes late? Well, have you tried that with a train/flight? I'm sure they'll be happy to see you stamping your feet because they've left without you.

And, as for the three minutes late? Well, have you tried that with a train/flight? I'm sure they'll be happy to see you stamping your feet because they've left without you.

Do try keeping to the OP. The OP was about the jobcentre and their treatment of her for being three minutes late, when she isn't usually late, quite the reverse.