Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

AIBU to be unsure how to react on social media when awful events are unfolding?

53 replies

LostSight · 23/03/2017 09:04

Does anyone else feel uncomfortable on, (for example) Facebook about all the messages and comments that are made following appalling events?

I just find it hard to know how to respond. I sometimes find it overwhelming and, perhaps rather trite when so many people who are not remotely involved post messages.

Are there people who have been involved in any major incident? Did you find it positive that there was such a public outpouring of sympathy?

I hope this doesn't come across as insensive. I just never know how to react and it makes me personally rather uncomfortable. Modern life has complications that weren't there when I was young.

OP posts:

Original poster

LostSight · 23/03/2017 09:51

I like some of the ideas. 'Look for the helpers'. That's a positive way to respond. Also thanks to 10storey for explaining the blue line. Again, I can understand police officers doing that, but don't really understand when it spreads beyond that, though I guess people want to be seen to be doing something perhaps.

I could give up on Facbook and other social media, but there are reasons to do with my career that drive me to go there. It isn't compulsory, but it is desirable.

OP posts:

PovertyPain · 23/03/2017 09:52

10 I think that's a lovely thing to do and I would definitely understand if someone who is connected to the police would comment on the situation and that it would affect them. I think that would be similar to how I and other nursing staff would feel if on of 'our own' is injured or killed while trying to help others.

That's very different from those that make public grief a constant on their news feed. I have one that makes everything worthy of personally affecting them, wether it's a disaster, famous person dieing, cancer research, animal cruelty. Somehow it affects them more deeply than ANYONE else. Very upsetting to read if a situation has directly affected you, yet they feel they have more right to that genuine grief.

If it's someone that I know has a connection to an incident I would certainly comment, otherwise I ignore. It feels a bit to much like 'click bait'.

tinyterrors · 23/03/2017 09:56

The checking in as safe from people 400 miles away really annoys me. Fair enough from people who live/work near there who could feasibly have been in Westminster at the time but not people who were last within 10 miles of the M25 a decade ago.

I did change my Facebook profile picture to the thin blue line. I did it because I have several family members in the police force, some in and near London.

Ollivander84 · 23/03/2017 10:02

I changed my picture to the thin blue line because we are all a 999 family whether police, fire or ambulance and I work for one of them

glueandstick · 23/03/2017 10:04

The OMG I was there last year brigade are tossers.

If you've travelled to any major city in the last decade you've been near something like this.

It's just being a bit me me me.

Lakegeneva40 · 23/03/2017 10:05

I tend rockier scroll past them. They normally come from the same attention seeking types. The only ones I forgive are those with close contact with the Police or if it affects them personally. I had facebook friends going on about the tsunami. I couldn't have cared less as my mum died the same day.

Lakegeneva40 · 23/03/2017 10:06

To not rockier

Oriunda · 23/03/2017 10:07

Ditto - my father was in the Met and his colleague died defusing the IRA Wimpy bomb. Changed my profile to the thin blue line - no other words needed. There are some wonderfully uplifting sentiments on Twitter though - particularly the various signs at Tube stations.

Lakegeneva40 · 23/03/2017 10:08

Actually all Emergency services, doctors etc

edwinbear · 23/03/2017 10:08

You don't have to respond - it's not the law. Post or don't post, social media posting is really not important in the grand scheme of things.

bagpusss · 23/03/2017 10:09

How to react on social media? - Don't.

IrregularCommentary · 23/03/2017 10:11

Shark - I'd have been tempted to reply asking what happened last Thursday

stolemyusername · 23/03/2017 10:13

I don't post, but I don't see any harm in those who do - they aren't hurting you.

The posters who say, 'oh I was there on x day' some of them are attention seeking, some are genuinely shocked that something so awful could happen somewhere so 'normal' without warning.

People change their profile photos, wring their hands and are so sorry, but then their bff takes a great selfie with them in the pub the following weekend and their photo changes again, until the next awful thing. Rinse and repeat.

But there are always good people, those who stop and react. People who put the safety of others above their own, and they deserve to be celebrated (and remembered) and they are clearly visible in the social media posts than news reports.

If you don't like it, then stay away from social media. You don't have control of what matters to others and what they post.

Fitzsimmons · 23/03/2017 10:17

I logged onto Facebook last night to be confronted with an image of the alleged attacker surrounded by paramedics, accompanied by a complaint that it wasn't being shown on the BBC. WTF? The guy was probably dead already, why do people feel the need to share this shit?

Brendon Cox summed up my thoughts beautifully this morning with the words "Yesterday there was one act of evil, but hundreds of acts of kindness and bravery" (or words to that effect, can't remember the exact quote). This is what we should be focusing on IMO.

TheGaleanthropist · 23/03/2017 10:26

Don't respond/react, generally speaking.

Unless there is someone actually involved in events e.g. friend whose spouse works in emergency services, relative with child who works nearby. Likely they won't be posting, but it's possible they might be if the have no RL support around and need a hand hold, or don't want to tie up their phone line.

HoldBackTheRain · 23/03/2017 11:30

I wouldn't describe people as tossers. I go to the HoC and the surrounding area for work quite often and yesterday I was horrified, thinking that in the last 2 weeks I had been there 3 times and I was so grateful that I wasn't there yesterday, and horrified for those who were. The only difference is I didn't post my thoughts on FB. Why do we think less of someone who does? People react to grief in all different kinds of ways. If you don't like what someone's written on social media, don't comment or unfriend them so you don't have to see it.

Seeing what happened yesterday in a place I have been going to for the last 30 years was awful and if I wasn't so repressed maybe I would have shared that on facebook. I don't think we should judge people for how they react.

LouKout · 23/03/2017 11:36

Then it was very close to home for you and noone is meaning you,but people who arent involved.

I also dont think you can really grieve for strangers. You can feel sad and feel empathy for their families though.

HoldBackTheRain · 23/03/2017 11:43

Yes I agree you can feel sad and empathise with people's families. I think that when people get overwhelmed by public disasters/deaths of celebs etc there's something else that's going on in their lives and it comes out in their 'grieving' for said person/event.

I used to mock people that got very upset about celeb deaths. I remember when Michael Jackson died I felt like writing on everyone's wall that had put up RIP 'I'm sorry, I didn't realise you knew him personally' But then I got paid back. Because I shed tears when Tony Benn died, and more recently Caroline Aherene and George Michael. I didn't know them personally but I felt so bloody sad. That's why I try and not to judge now.

PovertyPain · 23/03/2017 11:53

I think that when people get overwhelmed by public disasters/deaths of celebs etc there's something else that's going on in their lives and it comes out in their 'grieving' for said person/event

That's a very good point, that I hadn't thought about Hold.

Faez · 23/03/2017 11:57

Just another reason I closed my account and feel much better for it. I recommend at least trying it.

CheeseQueen · 23/03/2017 12:43

I got quite cross at all the people checking in as 'safe' despite being miles away from the incident. I work a mile down the road and other than hearing the sirens and having the news on-screen, it was business as usual. It reeked of trying to make it 'all about them'.

How do you know they're nowhere near the event? I'm nowhere near London but occasionally go for day trips there.
For all you know they could have been there for the day and letting their friends and family who know that they're there know they're safe!

ImFuckingSpartacus · 23/03/2017 12:50

They aren't though.

scatterolight · 23/03/2017 13:02

Why don't you do what everyone on my FB does and pretend it isn't happening? We all go merrily on our way posting pics of cats and our latest makeup looks. Seems to work.

Fortheloveofscience · 23/03/2017 13:51

Because I know where they work (north of Camden town, and hammersmith area) and they made it clear they were at work!

Fortheloveofscience · 23/03/2017 13:51

Bold fail!

Flip

1 2 3