..to not want to go on holiday with in-laws??

[tearinghairout]

My Ils have a house in France. They live part of the year there, & part here. We've (dh, me, dch) had lots of nice hols while ILs were over here. This year, they want to be there for part of our hol. DH wants to spend time with them (fair enough - I've no prob with him taking a week in school time & going alone)& thinks I should chill. But, it won't be 'our' house if they're there. We have a history (basically they don't like me, & vv), FIL thinks arguments are good sport, will pick a topic & rant. We went to theirs at Xmas & they ended up all screaming at each other (and at me & dch, struck dumb)at the table, about some celeb. So, should I put up with it, or force DH to choose? (but he might pick them!)This is causing me big stress, funny twitches, irrational divorce thoughts... Help!

[tearinghairout]

That strikes a chord! Everyone's fed up with him so he has an intelligent conversation with a 2.5 yo! He's OK, sometimes, in small doses. They both are. It's just being in their house... two days is enough.

The first time I met him he had me in tears, telling me I was irresponsible paying rent rather than having a mortgage. I was 21! He wouldn't drop it, kept it up until I couldn't take any more.

The last time we were together in the holiday home, FIL was cutting up raw beef, he scooped it up in his hands & dripped it over a bowl of salad to put in the saucepan. I told him my dch would not be eating the salad (thinking out loud, really). He hit the roof, was red in the face, had a real go at me for making a fuss about nothing. (No point in arguing, he's always right.) Both he & I probably haven't forgotten this. But I spoke to him yesterday & he had a good moan about the water company or something, & was fine. Must be old age!

[DrDaddy]

Are you sure I'm not your DH??? They sound like the same person!!
We've decided not to stay with them for longer than one night at a time until DCH are a lot older. It's just too stressful.
DW has also been at the receiving end of my father's ranting.
I hope you manage to sort your holiday situation out....

[lupo]

Hi,

My mil invited us on holiday for this christmas, she it a total cow to me aned has never really liked me, treats us like crap, gave the family room to his childless brother and girlfriend and stuck us all in tiny room with ds next to the toliet last year.

I have basically told dh there is no way would go on holiday with them ever.. and if he is so desperate to go , he can go on his own.. bascially we have now decided to go away just three of us

dont go if you dont want to, dh should understand and accept this

[BadHair]

Well done you for the compromise. I generally get on well with my ILs, but last year they insisted on the 4 of us staying with them, and GMIL, in their caravan for a week. 5 adults and 2 small children in one caravan and an awning. We were skint so it was our only chance of a holiday, so we went. By the end of the week my face ached with the forced smiles and when MIL suggested that next year (ie this one) we did the same but for 2 weeks, my enthusiasm was somewhat muted.

I thought they'd forget about it, but not only did they remember, but they've gone out and bought a marginally bigger caravan to accommodate dc3, will be 3 months by the time they think we're going away together. I ask you - 5 adults, 2 children, a tiny baby AND their bloody dog in one tin shed on wheels - I really think they've gone mad.

Dh promised he'd talk to them but I know he won't, and now they've gone and told our dses that they're going, so they're all excited. I'm going along with it at the moment but there is no way on this earth that I'm going on that holiday - once the baby arrives I'll make sure that they think he/her is a crap sleeper who does a lot of nocturnal pooing, and that should get at least us two off the hook. Dh can take the boys and lump it!

Sorry to rant, it's been hanging over me for months so it's nice just to let it all out!

[tearinghairout]

Rant away! Good luck with the birth - and remember that holidays are supposed to be enjoyable! Being shut up with a load of people you wouldn't choose to be with in a very small place sounds like a description of prison to me!

IMHO taking a week off work and going on day trips out from home, pretending to be tourists, is much more fun than going away with bloody ILs.

DrDaddy - perhaps you're my BIL!!!! Acting like he does seems to be part of the FILs job description!