To be so bothered by friends ignoring my child's birthday?

[1wokeuplikethis]

Bah. I know I am being pathetic but I feel annoyed at the number of friends who didn't bother getting in touch to wish my child a happy birthday. I have lots of friends with children and have their birthdays marked on the calendar and actually always send a card and a present and usually text on the day too. So am I weird and it's the norm to not bother even texting or liking a sodding Facebook post? I must just be an overbearing friend.

I know it's my child and doesn't automatically mean everyone pee's themselves with excitement for their birthday and I'm being a bit precious and everyone has busy lives with lots going on etc but these friends have kids, whom I make an effort for, and they must understand themselves that your own child's birthday is a big deal to you.

I feel pathetic. But pissed off. But pathetic. Anyway, making myself focus on the family/friends who did get in touch and the knowledge my child had a great birthday and certainly won't be saying to me 'mummy it was a wonderful day but I'm so upset your best friends didn't wish me happy birthday via your Facebook page' !!!

All my fb friends post a pic of their child on their birthday with a Happy Birthday message. Most people respond with a Happy Birthday or a like. It doesn't cost anything.

I find buying presents for everyone a bit weird though

To be fair I can see how if this means a lot to me you'd like to receive similar attention. It's not being weird; but, even though we're not talking relationship, it immediately made me thinking of 5 love languages - a very useful book. It sounds like perhaps yours is Gifts, hence it's important for you to give and receive. Sorry for going off topic but perhaps reading that book will be interesting :)

Close family I would expect to remember the dc's birthdays.

My friends, I would not. Doesn't it cost you an absolute bomb, all these presents and cards?! I'd follow your friends' lead.

GREAT tip on the Love Languages! It's really helpful to understand that the way that you give and (want to) receive affection is not the same way that everyone else does. I agree that yours is likely Gifts, OP. Personally, mine is Kind Actions (practical things like making me a cup of tea, not Gifts like flowers). We're all different. Well, at least in different types.

The five love languages, for those who are interested, are:

• Gifts
• Kind Actions
• Physical touch
• Kind words
• Quality time

(I'm paraphrasing but that's why my husband and I call them -- when we learned about these we learned that we each have different ones)

I am weird?! I was worried about that, but it's so bloody sad to think that being thoughtful and acknowledging that it's special could be seen as weird. I knew that was going to be said and feared it. But still makes me feel sad.

I don't consider it "thoughtful" to acknowledge someone else's birthday, I call it self indulgent.

You think birthdays are special, so you want to do something to mark them.

You go ahead and do that without any thought for how annoying and irritating it is to people who don't waste time and energy on birthdays.

I hate getting birthday cards, myself, rarely open them. Rip them up and recycle immediately.

Irritating waste of money and resources.

I have no idea when any of my friend's children's birthdays are, and they have no idea when my children's birthdays are.

Long may it remain so.

You are not being "thoughtful" at all, you are just doing what you want to do, don't try and make anyone else feel bad about it.Its 100% your choice .

Ok well that is weirder. Sorry.

Sarah I think actions is called Acts of service and Kind words is called Words of appreciation. I'm not obsessed or anything :P mine was by default words; my husband's acts of service. Over the years I definitely moved towards acts of service more in how I appreciate them, and don't need those words from him anymore ;) and reading 5 love lgs helped greatly with conflict there.

Sending a card and gift, and then texting on the day as well is actually pretty OTT from someone who isn't even particularly close to the child.
And you don't seem close, when your kids don't even attend each other's parties.

love languages sounds like one of those awful self help books written by a wannabe psychologist with theories they made up in their lunch hour.

User you rip them up without opening? Jesus, just tell people not to celebrate your birthday.

Err... ok User1490...bit angry there aren't you?

OP - I don't mark my friends' kids' birthdays unless we are attending their party. I don't expect them to mark my kids' either. I think that's normal. Glad you're off to save money and be less weird.

Blimey. You're being pretty silly here. Marking friends children's birthdays isn't the norm.

Well if you are one of my friends then I'm sorry. I'm crap at stuff like this. Doesn't mean I don't care, but I can barely organise myself for basic day to day stuff, sorting out all the kids of friends birthdays is beyond me.

I havent a clue when my friends birthdays are. Couldnt even tell you what age they are. If they knocked on the door and asked me to keep them in an emergency, i would though. Surely thats what friendship is about?

Spartacus thanks for your professional opinion - as a commissioning editor in psychology I can assure you not all self help books are awful or take half an hour to write, but good on you for deciding on sth not knowing anything about it

Bet you're fun at parties user

"I can barely organise myself for basic day to day stuff, sorting out all the kids of friends birthdays is beyond me."

Oh me too.

You've pretty much answered your own question in your OP. Stop fussing over other people who don't return the favour and relax a bit

Good job we're not friends, you'd hate me! I never text friends on their kids b days. They are lucky if I get the date right for their own.

But you do sound like a nice person though, and thoughtful.

Some families make a big deal about birthdays - perhaps yours did when you were growing up so you find it the norm? My DH's fam for instance get SO hurt if you don't acknowledge their birthday in some way - FB 'like' or whatever. It's a sin if you miss a bday party party - and these are the adults

I mark my godson's birthday and that's about it.

woke how old are your DC?

People usually mark the first birthday but it tails off after that unless you inviting them to a party.

Birthdays are special for the person concerned and for their immediate family.

I mark children's birthdays for my nieces, nephews and Godchildren (which covers my best friends' kids). Otherwise only if we are invited to a party or Birthday tea. I think that's fairly common.