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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Boozing after christening

49 replies

sleeplesshell · 22/03/2017 20:44

AIBU to think lowly of people who christen their children and then ship them off for the night so they can go out on the town boozing. Not just one or two but a late night hobbies. Particularly when the next day will be their very first Mother's Day and they'll collect the baby late afternoon.

Is a christening not about the child rather than an adult boozing session?

OP posts:

FairytalesAreBullshit · 22/03/2017 22:15

It depends on culture I think, as in some faiths it's a really big thing, the whole party after is a boozy celebration. As for going on the town, trying to get in the mind set where this would be for the child, maybe celebrating the arrival of a new life, I don't know.

They used to have wetting the babies head, so Dad would go to the pub and people would get Dad beers to celebrate. I don't think that's done as much now.

madein1995 · 22/03/2017 22:32

My Christening was done when I was 3. We aren't very religious, and my parents openly admit they wanted me to enjoy the party afterwards. We went to the local club afterwards, me and other kids had a great time playing/dancing etc while the adults got a bit tiddly was actually quite fun!

namechange20050 · 22/03/2017 22:34

You sound dull op. Why do you care? You obv don't like this person so maybe you should give the christening a miss.

haveacupoftea · 22/03/2017 23:33

Who gives a shit? Its only an excuse for a party anyway.

hannashanoi · 22/03/2017 23:45

Nothing up with it. It's a celebration, life could be very dull if we didn't do these things.

raviolidreaming · 23/03/2017 00:01

If you don't want to look after your grandchild overnight while your son and dil go out after the christening just say no!

EmeraldScorn · 23/03/2017 00:03

A christening party is a tradition where which is typically a sit down meal in a restaurant or a buffet somewhere.

It's a nice thing for the parents to arrange in my opinion, to welcome the child and to thank the guests; A bit of food and a few drinks, it's no different to celebrations after a wedding.

No one pulls out the booze in the chapel, so I don't agree with your sentiments at all.

WorraLiberty · 23/03/2017 00:04

Is a christening not about the child rather than an adult boozing session?

No. A christening is never about the child.

It's all about the parents foisting their own chosen religion upon their child.

PaulAnkaTheDog · 23/03/2017 00:28

No. A christening is never about the child.

It's all about the parents foisting their own chosen religion upon their child.

Ach Worra I'm massively disappointed in this sweeping statement by you, your comments are usually really measured. My parents had me baptised but never forced religion on me. They made it perfectly clear that religion was my own choice and I chose to be confirmed in later childhood. I never had my son baptised, he chose to be last year. So no, it's not all about the parents foisting their own chosen religion upon their children and it's not never about the child. Quite insulting comments actually.

ScarlettFreestone · 23/03/2017 01:06

I've never been to a Christening that was a piss up - and I've been to lots. A few glasses of wine yes, but certainly not anywhere near a piss up.

Worra in my denomination a Christening is explicitly about welcoming the child into the church family. The parents and congregation make promises to the child but that's it.

The child doesn't join the church unless they make their own explicit promises as an adult.

I'm sure you'll be pleased to hear that nothing is foist on anyone.

My own kids know they have a choice.

Trifleorbust · 23/03/2017 06:46

I cannot think how this has diddly squat to do with you tbh.

LineysRun · 23/03/2017 06:55

I went to christening service recently. When did they become so bloody long and boring? I ended up counting the stained glass window panels.

Huldra · 23/03/2017 07:47

It doesn't really matter.

My inlaws never set foot in a church unless it's a wedding, christening or funeral. All events end up with lots of alcohol being consumed. They were disappointed we didn't have our children christened and I think it was due to the lack of a boozy family get tongether. Someone who died recently had set aside a large chunk of cash to cover the bar bill at his funeral. Very much bury me in a cardboard box but make sure you all have a few drinks.

I grew up in the Baptist denomination where people choose to get baptised when they are older, our church didn't baptise until you were at least 13. Even then parental permission was needed until 16. Babies are Dedicated, this is when the parents and congregation make promises to the baby, family and God. Alcohol wasn't allowed on church premises anyway but after promising to raise your child in a certain way, you would get disaproval if you went out drinking all night after and fair enough it wouldn't be in the spirit of what you just promised in that church. I'm an atheist and wouldn't be allowed to have any sort of ceremony there and wouldn't want to.

I've been to quite a few C of E christenings where the parents have had differing involvement in the church. Ceremony usually isn't part of the Sunday service and a polite wine or two after.

If the parents are happy, the baby looked after and the babysitters happy then it's fine.

WorraLiberty · 23/03/2017 10:19

I disagree Paul.

My parents had me baptised. They took me to church, enrolled me in a Catholic Primary school and from there I went (along with most of the other kids), to the local Catholic senior school. I too chose to be confirmed (aged about 11) because everyone else in my year did, so it was the 'normal' thing to do. Plus, I don't think I would have been allowed to attend the same senior school as my friends, if I didn't.

That was them foisting their chosen religion upon me, until I was old enough to decide I wanted no part of it. Not that it did me any harm, and I enjoyed my school days.

But, religion is very much an 'opt out' for children, rather than an 'opt in'. I know lots of catholics my age who wouldn't have dared to opt out for fear of 'going to hell', or at the very least upsetting their parents and grandparents.

Therefore, imo it's very much about the parents rather than the baby.

corythatwas · 23/03/2017 11:07

But Worra, not all christenings are Catholic. And not all parents who christen their children in a Catholic church send them to Catholic schools or are even regular church goers themselves.

I was christened in the Lutheran church, mainly (I suspect) so I could have my name embroidered on the christening gown which has been in the family for over 100 years, also so I could have the same welcoming-into-the-extended-family party that the family has been having for generations and (perhaps as a bit of an afterthought) so it would be easier for me if I did want to join a church later on. My parents never took me to church and my school was secular. I discovered Christianity for myself when I was at junior school and started going to church on my own as a preteen. Still the only Christian member of my family and nobody has put any pressure on anybody else either way. But for me, having been christened just made life that little bit easier.

WorraLiberty · 23/03/2017 11:12

Fair enough cory but that's not really the norm is it?

Most parents who christen babies, are choosing (their own) religion for that baby, who has no say in it or understanding.

Hence my comment that it's not about the child, it's about the parents.

PaulAnkaTheDog · 23/03/2017 11:14

It was your massive generalisation I disagreed with Worra, never about the child. The statement is factually incorrect.

WorraLiberty · 23/03/2017 11:17

Ok Paul fair enough, I phrased it badly so I apologise.

I should have said it's never about the baby, because they have no knowledge or understanding of the religion their parents have chosen for them.

Having autonomy when they're old enough to understand and choose, would of course make it about them.

SparkleTwinkleGoldGlitter · 23/03/2017 11:19

what is the point of your thread? Do you want a christening? Wondering if you can have gin after do not? Or to slag others off?

Why will the day after the christening be Mother's Day? In the uk you can be christened any old time

The christenings I've been too have been no alcohol policy afterwards anyway so I don't know what kind of christenings you've been to

Lugeeta · 23/03/2017 11:21

Ime a booze up and nice party is the whole point of christenings! Oh as well as the certificate to keep their options open in case they need to apply for a CofE/catholic school?!

Pinkheart5915 · 23/03/2017 11:21

Why do you care, I assume it's not at your child's christening so what businesss of yours is it?

I haven't been to many christening as it's not something my family/friends do but when I have been to them Never has there been alcohol afterwards!

Universitychallenging · 23/03/2017 11:22

What is a "late night hobbies"?

CantChoose · 23/03/2017 11:26

I was chatting about this recently to a group of friends and it seemed a bit regional within our group. I had no idea some people had big piss-ups after christenings. All the ones I've been to have been more tea and cake affairs. But either sounds great to me!

corythatwas · 25/03/2017 10:18

WorraLiberty Thu 23-Mar-17 11:12:04
"Fair enough cory but that's not really the norm is it?"

From what I've seen of the CoE, having your child christened and then not pushing the religion on them is pretty much the norm. Many CoE parents are luke-warm themselves and there isn't at all the same idea that if you are CoE your child needs to attend a faith school for that reason. If parents do end up choosing a church school, it will usually be more about Ofsteds and exam results.

Basically, I don't think you can extrapolate from a Catholic experience.

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