To hate it when people hark back to the good old days

[sharksscareme]

Whenever I see one of 'those' posts on Facebook about how wonderful the 70s/80s were and playing out all day and so on - I wonder if my memories are completely different (born 1981.)

Yes, we had a lot more personal freedom but this was very risky. Not just in the sense of potential accidents and stranger danger but also from each other. There was some nasty bullying and intimidation that went on in the groups.

School was a miserable experience for me with sarcastic, unpleasant teachers (not all) bullying, disgusting toilets without soap or toilet paper or even locks on the door. Good thing we didn't have water bottles as there wasn't even anywhere safe and clean to have a wee.

I was walking to school alone from the age of seven and letting myself into an empty house from a similar age. It wasn't fun.

Hitting children was seen as acceptable and sexual abuse was the elephant in the room.

AIBU? I don't think back on my childhood particularly fondly.

As the mother of a teenage son, who has been looking for a job and has finally landed one, but it's a zero hours contract. I genuinely believe there are stresses on teenagers that we really didn't have. Most of my cousins walked out of school and into steady permanent jobs. There was no expectation that you would be available twenty four hours a day. When I went to university, my fees were payed, as were most of my living expenses. What's more I could sign on during the holidays. It wasn't even difficult.

My children's early life was probably no better or worse than my own. But I do think things can be way more stressful for teens now. Rates of mental health problems have risen significantly. But I feel more sorry for my children than nostalgic in the way you describe. Those posts sound almost as if they are blaming the youngsters for the difficulties.

I'm not sure I'd be overly nostalgic if I'd been born in 81.
I was born in 72 and we had loads of freedom as children, I feel sad for my DD that I can't give her the same freedom but even though I'm fairly relaxed I find it difficult to find like minded parents. The whole point was we had a gang of kids to hang out with back then and there was relative safety in number.
Sexual abuse was no doubt an issue due to societies attitude however I don't think recent decades have been any more enlightened.
Bullying is a much bigger issue now and ever prevelant.
I have lovely memories of my childhood, I'm very lucky.
Bike riding, den building, tree climbing, walking to school, hunting for chestnuts, sledging down hills, playing hide and seek with all the kids in our estate til 11pm in the summer, putting on 'shows'.
Things are different for my DD but not worse, she doesn't get forced to eat corned beef and disgusting boiled potatoes for a start. I'm a lot more relaxed than my mum ever was about lots of things (sex/periods etc) so I hope/expect puberty and teens will be easier. My DD has been abroad loads and seen more of the world than I had at 35.
Definitely swings and roundabouts

I don't really understand your last sentence sorry, LostSight

I'm not sure bullying is a bigger issue now. Certainly schools have to take it seriously on paper; whether they actually do or not is another matter. Casual violence was very much part of my life at school.

I also gave birth in the 80's and upto the late 90's.

I wouldn't wish 80's style maternity care on anyone.

Backforgood, my Sister was a SW in the 80's, a 7 year old taking themselves to school wouldn't have warranted a SS investigation. Unless the SWs were of the mind that the children should be removed because nice MC homes awaited them.

I can remember the acts of animal cruelty around me, people just throwing the dog out when they got fed up with them and the amount of dogs just roaming. Cats in dreadful states.

I think it was easier to get a job even if you had no qualifications plus housing was affordable even if you were slightly stretched.

I'm pretty sure everyone was aware I was going home to an empty house TBH.

YANBU! I was born in 1971. 46 years have come and gone, imagine that?! WTF is the point of harking back to this 'golden age', it's gone.

My personal favourites are the ones who denigrate the poor because they have 'mobiles and flatscreen tellies and internet', back in my day, we went without. Yeah, fucker, because it didn't fucking exist. Or 'When I was a child we had an outdoor toilet and no bath.' Guess what, that's now illegal in rental properties. It's called time moving on!

I was born in the early 70s, and it's definitely a case of 'swings & roundabouts'.

Today's kids have far more choices and opportunities than we ever did, and they grow up in a much safer, more tolerant, diverse and accepting society.

We, on the other hand, had so much more freedom than today's kids can even begin to imagine. We really did play outside with our friends until all hours, disappearing on our bikes and getting up to all sorts of dodgy stuff without any of the suffocating hysteria and paranoia of the 21st century. We were much more active, slimmer, fitter and more physically robust than today's kids. We got into more scraps, and scrapes too, of course.

I read a tweet that made me laugh...

People harking back to the 1950s? Relax, we've still got milkshakes and racism

That is how I see it. I had a wonderful childhood, so it'd be easy for me to be nostalgic, but there are still some system wide problems in society.

I agree its rose tinted spectacles. All thats better now is people have more stuff. Other than poor people who are still grindingly poor.
People dont get what its like to be a latchkey kid if they didnt have to do it.

I was born in the mid seventies and had a great childhood but that said, my kids have also had/are having great childhoods. As others have said, swings and roundabouts, some things are better now, some worse.

I suppose the freedom others see as a wonderful thing is something I disagree with.

Public information films from the time are harrowing but make it clear to the children - it's YOUR responsibility. If you are killed by a train / fall into a cesspit / electrocuted / run over / abducted / drowned - it's YOUR fault. Not an adult who should have been supervising.

I think with large packs of children there is a risk in itself: children aren't skilled always in relating to one another without adult supervision and the law of the jungle can take over quickly.

Some things were better then, some are better now.
I think people like to remember good times whenever they were born.
I was a child during the 3 day week and the strikes, it was an adventure waiting to see when the lights would go out and we'd have no electric.
I don't think kids would cope with this today, they'd soon moan about missing their gadgets.
There would be a surge of people charging everything before we lost power.
Oh, the good old days.

YANBU, fair enough we do still have problems such as bullying etc. but at least nowadays they are acknowledged and tackled (as best as people can). Unlike the good old days where everything was swept under the carpet/denial of it actually happening (Child abuse being the big one). Single parents is one that especially gets me. Fucking sick of hearing single parents didnt exist in my day because they didnt get a free house/money thrown at them. NOOOOOO. They didnt exist because the fucking poor woman was carted off in secret to give birth and then had the baby forcibly removed. Or look at the police/government. There is so much more accountablity now, even though its still not perfect. Go back 20/30/40 + years and see how a good proportion of police/governments acted. It was fucking shameful by today's standards.

I was born in the mid-70s and no things weren't better. What people miss is their youth not the decade it happened in.

I remember growing up mixed race in the 80s. Racism was rife from kids at school, their parents and some of the teachers. It was on tv and in the papers. There was only one beauty ideal - white and blond which was very excluding and negative for anyone not like that. Girls are still under pressure but at least there's more choice in beauty ideals now.

I remember feeling cold a lot more too. I remember being bored a lot and the only thing on tv seemed to be snooker. I remember more kids at school dying, a couple run over or some other accidents when they were enjoying that famous freedom we had in the 80s where you could go wandering for hours without adult supervision.

People in their 40s and above looked a lot older than they do now like life had worn them down.

Lots of people were unemployed and skint.

Everyone smoked. I used to feel like I was chocking on public transport and the cinema, everywhere from all the smoke.

I like 80s music but I'd never go back. The 90s when we all had more money, cheap flights, we had good summers, tech was improving but social media hadn't kicked off ( although I'm on it now, I think it's become a negative tool), no 24 news, awesome music and that togetherness and innocence before 9/11 and the war on terror...I'd love to go back there for a bit.

I do hate those Facebook posts comparing the kids of today to the kids of yesteryear. It's different times and there are many examples where the kids of today have better childhoods.

The past always looks better because you know the outcome. The present day, and particularly today, feels uncertain.

I forgot that there was also an unquestioning deference to authority back in the 'good old days' to the point that people in positions of power could get away with all kinds of nefarious shit, some of which is only coming to light decades later.

Sometimes it can go too far the other way with parents thinking they know more than teachers but I'm glad that everyone from teachers to doctors can be challenged if they're done wrong. I still bare mental scars from the fact that my parents wouldn't challenge teachers or anyone in positions of power. It just wasn't done.

People failing in positions of authority are confronted much more quickly now.

YABU

70s child. Ultimately I feel things were overall better. Even the music was better. Loads of great artists in their prime. Childrens tv was great. There was a lot of cultural creativity. There was better community feeling, all my neighbours knew me and I them. Could play out all day just be back for dinner. In and out peoples and friends houses without the same level of fear we now.

And we really played. I know that sounds patronising, but kids just dont play like we used to, with the elastic, british bulldog where someobe always got scrapped knees, loulou skip to my lou, Ibcoukd go on.

Mostly I would say there was more community interaction at every level due to lack of internet, popping to the video shop after waiting ages for your film, was genuinely exciting. Sorry, but I think things are shittier now even though we have better standards of living now, and I was one of those kids who would routinely get a good hiding before being dropped off school.

Dreadful spelling. Phone

I agree with all of that Capricorn

Sew I guess it's just one mans trash being another mans treasure idea: all the things you mention - the close community (being the subject of gossip) the 'freedom' (which quite literally killed some children) the 'good hiding' (really )

My own parents gave me the freedom, at about six or seven maybe, to go to a fair. I was with my brother but we didn't stay together all the time. I look back and I think - really - those places are like a magnet for those with horrible intentions. Yes, I'm sure many many children went to fairs unsupervised and had a whale of a time but it's still incredibly dangerous!

YANBU

My mum say's she wants things to go back to like it was during the war, life was wonderful then apparently.

My DD (aged nearly 19) has never known anyone who drowned, and none of her friends has died of meningitis in their first year of university. These are two things that stick in my head as being quite common in the '80s, and are very rare now.

The past always looks better because you know the outcome. The present day, and particularly today, feels uncertain

That is very profound. I'm going to steal quote that in some conversation in the next week or two. Very deep - thanks Renaissance2017