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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think if you're responsible for pick up/drop off if you are the one that wants contact?

11 replies

Getdownwiththesickness · 22/03/2017 14:14

ex took me to court for contact, got what he wanted now complaining. He only has to do it twice a week don't see why I should "take it in turns".

OP posts:
Dani240 · 22/03/2017 14:23

Does your court agreement not specify who does the pick ups and drop offs?

I don't know, without any back story it is surely a good thing for your children to build a relationship with their father.

I guess it also depends on how far away it is, and if it's really far, which one of you moved far away.

However I'm sensing a big back story here.

Collaborate · 22/03/2017 14:24

Depends on lots of things. Who moved away from the other? Who has a car? Contact is for the children, not the adults.

welovepancakes · 22/03/2017 14:25

I would usually expect the NRP to collect and drop off, but it's important to prioritise the children's needs over the adults' needs

Anon1234567890 · 22/03/2017 14:29

As already said it depends on a lot of things but from my experience, everything else being equal, its usually 50:50. One picks up for contact, then other picks up to take them back. I dont see why one parent has to do all the travelling just because they only have 2/7 residency.

harderandharder2breathe · 22/03/2017 14:33

Sounds like a massive backstory so we can't really comment

It would depend who moved away, how far, how easy transport is (car vs public transport), if one doesn't work, etc etc

Contact is for the benefit of the children not the adults. You should want to make it work unless the children aren't safe

Getdownwiththesickness · 22/03/2017 14:33

it was agreed between us then confirmed in court that he gets her from me outside nursery gates. He then drops her at my Mums house.(He cant find out where I stay but I stay round from my parents house) He has passed his test apparently, i dont yet drive. He stays a short distance away. Usually brings her to my Mums in a taxi.

OP posts:
HermioneJeanGranger · 22/03/2017 14:36

I think it depends on a lot of things - money, work, whether one parent moved a fair distance away, whether either parent drives.

I don't think you can have a blanket statement of "you want contact, you arrange transport".

IamFriedSpam · 22/03/2017 14:39

Wait you have to come to nursery to collect your DD then immediately hand her over to him in the carpark or the nursery?

harderandharder2breathe · 22/03/2017 14:51

If it's in the court order then he should be sticking to it

Trifleorbust · 22/03/2017 14:53

I don't think it is quite fair to say it as an absolute rule, as what good parent wouldn't want contact? You have your DC the rest of the time so you don't have to worry about contact, but if you did you would want it too, right?

Lucked · 22/03/2017 14:58

Why doesn't he just pick up from nursery on his days?

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