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Original poster

Going to my graduation alone

31 replies

user1489943514 · 22/03/2017 13:52

I've just qualified as a nurse.

I've no family or friends. I spent my entire life in care. I don't have anyone to go to my graduation as obviously I have no family. I'm not sure whether to go if there's no one to celebrate with. I'm a single mum to a 3 year old so I thought I might just go for a meal with him instead.

The thing is, I've no spare money so can barely afford the £60 it will cost in total. If there's no one to celebrate the day with it almost doesn't feel worth it.

But I have no one to celebrate my birthday with, have Christmas with just my son every year and I just think it would be sad to have this day as the same as any other too.

I made a few friends on the course but they graduated last year so I wouldn't have any familiar faces at the event.

Would I be unreasonable to go? Would it be a completely awkward experience?

OP posts:
IamFriedSpam · 22/03/2017 13:55

Do none of your friends from the course last year want to come with you? I went to my friend's graduation and it was lovely. Do you feel like the graduation is important? If it will help you celebrate your achievement then you should definitely go even if it's alone, if you feel you should go but don't really want to then don't bother.

Original poster
user1489943514 · 22/03/2017 13:57

They weren't close friends. So I wouldn't feel comfortable asking them to come along.

I would love to go if I had family but feel it would be awkward on my own.

OP posts:
Reow · 22/03/2017 13:59

I wouldn't bother. I hated my graduation. It was long, boring and stressful, and didn't mean anything to me. I had my degree, I didn't want to wear a gown and be on show.

TwitterQueen1 · 22/03/2017 13:59

Can you do a live stream here on MN from your ceremony? Then we can all join in and be there with you virtually!

Original poster
user1489943514 · 22/03/2017 14:28

I could but I'd still be alone for the day. I wish I could take my son along but I can't.

I think I will give it a miss.

OP posts:
BonnyScotland · 22/03/2017 14:33

Congratulations Sweetheart Flowers

your post made me tearful but you should also be very proud of your achievement ..... Halo

Well Done x

NoraLouca · 22/03/2017 14:38

I didn't go to my graduation because my parents couldn't didn't want to come and I didn't want to be on my own. It may well have been long and boring, and it's not something I lose sleep over but I regret not going because it marks an achievement and it's not something that'll you get to do often, if ever again. If you don't go maybe think of something else that you could do with your DS to mark the occasion?

HeeHighls · 22/03/2017 14:39

Where roughly are you?

IamFriedSpam · 22/03/2017 14:40

I can understand not feeling comfortable asking a friend who isn't close, who will be with your DS on the day if you do go? Could whoever that is take him to the graduation?

TwentyCups · 22/03/2017 14:43

Is there anyone you regularly use as a babysitter? Could that person go with your son then you can take him for dinner afterwards? I think you should go to acknowledge your accomplishment!

Hopefully you will make friends with other nurses when you start work. Your son will be starting school soon so you may also make friends with the school mums.

Well done on your graduation.

Chippednailvarnishing · 22/03/2017 14:45

Mine was very dull and after hiring the gown and hat expensive!

SparklyLeprechaun · 22/03/2017 14:45

Congratulations! Graduations aren't all that, you can easily give it a miss, especially if you can't afford it. That being said, I went by myself to my postgrad graduation ceremony, and plenty of oversees colleagues did the same. You can take your son out for a meal afterwards.

LoriD · 22/03/2017 14:47

Congratulations I think graduations are silly really mines was so boring (2013) and a waste of money and even though we got pictures they just sit in a cupboard so at least you can display your certificate and stuff.

I would take her dc out for a nice meal instead or have a cosy night in get a takeaway and some sweets and have a little party yous two

LoriD · 22/03/2017 14:49

Was only on stage for 10 seconds the rest of the time was spent sitting watch other people collect their certificates and some speakers that's all very boring plus my certificate was posted so you don't even get a proper certificate on the day

sticklebrix · 22/03/2017 14:50

TBH my graduation wasn't really worth it. But if you want to go and will be sad if you don't, then just go. It probably won't be awkward and most people only get to do it once.

Getting a degree in nursing is a fantastic achievement, let alone doing it whilst single parenting a toddler. I'm in awe. Congratulations Flowers and all the best for your future career.

badtime · 22/03/2017 14:52

I didn't go to my MA graduation. I had already sat through one, and knew I just couldn't be arsed. The only reason I went to my BA ceremony is because my mum wanted to see it. In your position, I would save your money (and time!) and have a more meaningful celebration.

However if you really want to go and mark the occasion as special, that would not be unreasonable.

claraschu · 22/03/2017 14:55

Just wanted to say congratulations-

What a huge achievement! A huge achievement in itself, but after a childhood in care and as a single mum, to qualify as a nurse is fantastic!

DancingLedge · 22/03/2017 14:56

You've had not the easiest of starts in life, you're a single parent, and you have the grit to graduate in what can be a challenging area, so you now have a professional qualification, and the ability to support your child in a secure financial future.
USER, I TAKE MY HAT OFF TO YOU.That's a massive achievement there. I hope you celebrate, whether or not you go to your graduation

I'd willingly come and cheer you on, if you're anywhere near my neck of the woods.

(I'm single parent with much to be grateful for, who still could'nt handle the parent and study thing, and dropped back down to min. wage jobs)

HiMyNameIsUnknown · 22/03/2017 14:58

Congratulations firstly! I attended my Graduation & took my parents, it was a long ceremony and a long day.

My DH attended his first graduation & skipped his second as he found the first one dull so I don't think you'll be alone in missing it.

It must be difficult to have attained such a challenging qualification on top of being a single parent. As your DS grows up hopefully special occasions will feel more special if it's just the two of you.

Can you instead spend less money on a nice day out somewhere with DS & either go for a nice lunch or cook your favourite meal? Maybe try 5pm.com for an offer? That way you can privately celebrate your achievements with something you'll both enjoy.

Have you thought about joining a class or taking up a hobby to meet some new people?

LevantineHummus · 22/03/2017 14:59

I'm super impressed at what you've achieved! Go or don't go, but your achievement is what counts! (And if I could have I'd have come and totally embarrassed you by cheering really loudly!)

OnceMoreIntoTheBleach · 22/03/2017 15:04

Well done OP! Think of all the good you will do with your job in the future, all the people you're going to be able to help! Amazing SmileStar

If I was you, I would take what I would have spent on the gown and travel and all that jazz and spend it on a little token - maybe a piece of jewellery- for yourself to remind you of your achievement.

Then on the day, I would celebrate with a little tea part with your dc or something else memorable but inexpensive. Make a cake together or something like that.

Also, once you start working you will have a great opportunity to make new friends and feel part of a community.

The future is bright for you OP SmileFlowers

MissJSays · 22/03/2017 15:09

Wow, congratulations!
I'm graduating this year too, it's been a long hard slog.

Where abouts are you, roughly?

WayfaringStranger · 22/03/2017 15:14

Firstly, huge congratulations! Qualifying as a nurse is a massive achievement. The fact that you've done such a time intensive, stressful course without support shows what an incredibly human being you are. Flowers Your son is very lucky to have such a hard working and dedicated mum.

I didn't love my graduation ceremony. I walked across a stage to get a piece of paper. The day I found out I passed was a much bigger day for me. Actually, the first day I stepped foot through my work place was the big day for me. I also did a vocational degree.

If you do go, you might find that your uni has a little gathering afterwards. Mine did cake and cocktails and I mingled with a few people, including my lecturers and then toddled off. It might be worth finding out if your uni does something like this. That said, I totally understand why you wouldn't want to spend the money. Perhaps you can scrape together a little something and treat yourself as you deserve it. :)

Original poster
user1489943514 · 22/03/2017 16:19

Thanks everyone. I will decide what to do nearer the time. Now I just need to get a job!

OP posts:
Clandestino · 22/03/2017 16:21

Congratulations! Whereabouts are you graduating?