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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to ask you how the menopause happened for you?

94 replies

user1490123259 · 21/03/2017 20:06

45, last three periods have only been half as heavy as the previous 30 years....

Can I start celebrating and throwing my sanpro away?? STop counting days on the calendar when planning holidays? take out the £8 a month out of my shopping budget???

Is it going to be a blessed release or a path of thorns??

What should I worry about or be prepared for?

OP posts:
thehousewife · 21/03/2017 21:05

A forced menopause at 30 due to cancer treatment. It was fast and harsh! Massive sweats, mood swings, put a bit of weight on, skin went all "old" overnight. No sex drive Sad I had to have HRT due to it being so early it definitely helped.

PlayOnWurtz · 21/03/2017 21:07

This thread is both terrifying and interesting to read at the same time. How has your menopause compared to your puberty? I had an absolutely horrific puberty, dont cope in pregnancy or post natally, my body hates hormones and so am dreading menopause as a result.

My mum has been no help - easy puberty easy menopause (literally periods stopped, that was it)

ArchNotImpudent · 21/03/2017 21:11

Immediately, when I had my ovaries removed as part of my hysterectomy. I'm not (yet) on HRT so I am suffering major hot flushes and tiredness, but at least I know I'll never have to endure another period, nor, bizarrely, shave my armpits again because all the hair has fallen out Confused.

roywoodsbeard · 21/03/2017 21:14

I'm 52. About 5 years ago I went through a period of night sweats and I put on 1 1/2 stone, even though my diet/exercise had stayed the same, and I had previously been the exact same weight for years. I went from bang in the middle of normal BMI to just edging into the overweight category. Periods didn't change. Had a bad spell of anxiety but I'm an anxious person anyway.

Now, I have been on the mini pill, on which you don't have any periods, for 3 years. And I'm back to the weight that I had always been, again with no change in diet or exercise. My GP has made loud noises about me having to come off the mini pill soon, so I guess then I will find out if I'm still getting periods or not.

If I'm out the other side I'll be delighted that I seem to have had it easy. But if not, I have a couple of chronic health problems, and I'm anxious about the possibility of having a bad menopause, I'm off sick enough as it is!

CherieBabySpliffUp · 21/03/2017 21:28

@ExcuseMyEyebrows can I ask if you are taking any HRT?
I'm 41 with no periods since Feb last year. My GP sent me to a gynaecologist who has told me that I have to start HRT (and take it for the next 10 years)
I have real reservations because of the risk of side effects like headaches etc but it was pretty much a case of I HAVE to because of likelihood of osteoporosis and heart problems if I don't.

Sorry that is kind of rambling but it feels like I'm being forced into it.

Mummydummy · 21/03/2017 21:32

Around 40 starting getting long and extremely heavy periods often, then big gaps. Hot flushes for about 10 years which could wake me up every 3 hours at night.... HRT brought back the periods so masked the only benefit.

It was hell.

I have 3 sisters and we all experienced it differently - two just had periods fade away at 52 or 53. Lucky cows.

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 21/03/2017 21:36

Cherie don't be forced into anything . I had a hysterectomy at 42 (6 years ago) with everything taken and wasn't happy to take hrt. My surgeon was happy with my decision and at my follow up appointment his colleague was also happy that I didn't take the hrt route if I was coping ok, which I was.

I'm in great shape health and fitness wise.

PageNowFoundFileUnderSpartacus · 21/03/2017 21:43

I'm fairly sure I'm peri-menopausal (late 40s). My periods are still regular but are getting lighter - one heavy first day then tailing off - but my memory has gone to shite, I'm always shattered and I'm more anxious and irritable than usual. My mum went through menopause proper in her mid-50s with just a few hot flushes, so I'm hoping I have a similar experience.

IgnoreMeEveryOtherReindeerDoes · 21/03/2017 21:43

@inaclearing your post did make me laugh as I was hoping someone might say about memory.

kalinkafoxtrot45 · 21/03/2017 21:48

46 and still like clockwork although I've had some night sweats. Periods horrendous on second day, unpleasant flooding incident at work. Otherwise okay. I guess this is the start?

Crispbutty · 21/03/2017 21:48

I'm 48. Last period was about 18mths ago. Apart from hot flushes I've had no other real problems.

terrylene · 21/03/2017 21:52

I forgot about the lying awake until the sparrows fart Hmm

I can't remember the words for stuff mid-sentence. Even everyday things.

Things go straight in one ear and out of the other, and I can't be bothered to worry about them because I know I will forget whatever it is anyway.

Wibblewobble100 · 21/03/2017 21:55

Kirsty Wark did a fascinating program about women's experience of menopause that was on BBC just a few weeks ago. Not sure if it's available on iplayer but worth a watch if it is,

Rufus27 · 21/03/2017 21:55

Cheriebaby that was the same as me. Consultant said that at 40, the risks to my bones and heart without HRT would be greater than with. I did a fair bit of research and decided to go for bio identical HRT. Was really anxious about side effects, but none was as bad as the menopausal symptoms. Strangely, it has (fingers crossed) really helped my migraines.

Do check out the website Menopause Matters. I found it a godsend.

liz70 · 21/03/2017 21:57

I conceived DD3 at 38. By 40 my periods became more erratic and widely spaced. By about 43/44 I was getting what I'd describe as "night heat" - not actual flushes or sweats, just feeling very warm in bed. Had a couple of prolonged, heavy periods, got checked out but only a couple of very small (1 x 2 cm approx) fibroids were found. Now I'm 46, and have only had 2 periods in about 3 years, I think. I feel pretty okay, but get more stiff in my joints now, particularly in the morning, but that might just be age.

Crispbutty · 21/03/2017 21:58

I have gone from being a solid 7 hours sleeper to waking up every couple of hours, but I get back to sleep after going for a wee, and I don't feel tired during the day.

lokisglowstickofdestiny1 · 21/03/2017 21:58

49, periods very regular but I'd say getting lighter and less painful. They usually last for 3 days. Have started getting night sweats and insomnia. Very interesting reading about the varied experiences we are all having.

tiredbuthappyworkingmum · 21/03/2017 22:00

Complete hysterectomy inc ovaries at 41, so instant menopause. No HRT for me. A few mild hot flushes for a few months. Now 51, weight gain has been several stone, memory not as good, skin is drier, but is this just what happens when you age? No periods is great though.

PlymouthMaid1 · 21/03/2017 22:05

Just as I turned 54 hot flushes came out of nowhere and itchyness at night. Periods barely noticeable as have a Mirena coil. Have noticed brain fog and weight gain too. If it doesn't get worse then guess this counts as easy but no idea what to expect. Not using hrt or even been to a doctor but sage tablets have helped with flushes.

Aroundtheworldandback · 21/03/2017 22:08

CherieBaby another one here, started peri at 44 and told by consultant gynao that not taking bio identical HRT was the worst thing I could do for my heart and bones.

To me it was a no-brainer, not a matter of being forced. I've been on it now for 3 years and dread to think what my life would be like without it.

terrylene · 21/03/2017 22:10

Sadly, the Insiders Guide to Menopause is no longer available - just some short clips. www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b08fmspd

It was a really good programme with lots of cake Grin

She went to have a bone (Dexa) scan and found that she was osteopoenic - she had a hysterectomy in late 40s and stopped hrt due to the all the health scares after the Millenium women/ million women cohort studies.

terrylene · 21/03/2017 22:22

Here it is Grin Get the cake out and enjoy.

deadringer · 21/03/2017 22:27

At about 47 i had a few very heavy periods, then a few months of light periods, then none for a year, then one or two a year for the next few years. I have hot flushes and have put on weight, but other than that nothing too horrendous. I havent been to the doctor so not taking anything, i am 53 soon so hopefully i am nearly done.

DratThatCat · 21/03/2017 22:30

I'm 36 and started the perimenopause last year. My symptoms are:

Palpitations
Night sweats
No energy
Aches
More painful periods
PMT ramped up x100 (especially sore boobs. And the rage. Dear god, the rage...)
Shorter cycle, slightly shorter period but heavier.
Ovulation feels like I'm being knifed in the stomach.
No sex drive.

Yay for the menopause Hmm

FurryDogMother · 21/03/2017 22:33

Periods just stopped when I was about 48 (9 years ago). Then my mind went funny - couldn't concentrate on anything, my memory was terrible, and ohmahgawd the mood swings! This delightful stage was followed by a couple of years of hot flushes, happening roughly two or three times an hour, and much, much worse at night, leading to insomnia. These have gradually tapered off, and now I sleep well, my memory has come back, my mood is stable and generally optimistic, I've got my ability to concentrate and think logically back, and I'm even managing to lose weight. It only took nine years :)

I didn't have HRT, I tried progesterone cream for a while, which seemed to help with the hot flushes, also Menopace, sage, black cohosh and even - when feeling particularly bad one day, an infusion of red clover picked from our field! TBH, none of that helped much, but what did was giving up alcohol - stopped the flushes in their tracks, helped with the weight loss and the sleep, and has made me feel much more energetic.

I've not had any other nastinesses related to being post-menopausal (so far), and am feeling rather positive abut the future. I didn't have an easy menopause, but I came through it!