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AIBU?

To be ill and not tell anyone.....

42 replies

FunMumm · 06/03/2007 12:46

last Wednesday evening I came down with the flu bug... I spent all day Thursday and Friday in bed.... Hubby had it all covered, he leaves for work at 8:20 and comes home 5:40.. the kids aged 10 and 8 go to school and come home on their own, and can amuse their selves for a couple of hours...

Hubby rang my mum and dad on friday evening to tell them I'd been ill... their reaction was... "why didn't you tell us sooner".. OK they live just down the road, but I was sleeping and didn't need them for anything.. (I forgot to mention that DH pops home for lunch as well)

DH'm mum rings Friday night and hears that I've been ill.. "Why didn't you tell" us she cries hubby explains that everythings under control blar blar
MIL even rang my mother and offered to help her with my washing! ... [unbelievable emoticon]

NOW can I just be ill and not tell anyone.. or do I have to report to the parents... bearing in mind that I havent' had surgery and I'm not terminally ill...
I understand that they care about me and want to help... but still... So tell me honestly... did I do wrong...

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Rabbitbreath · 06/03/2007 13:25

oh - just so by the way - I had a very bad migraine yesterday - started with the dreadful blur - came home early from work - also at home today still recovering - very lonely - mom 12 hours away and hubby at work until after 7pm tonight! Anybody feeling sorry for me? I need a bit of TLC!!

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Chocolate1000 · 06/03/2007 13:26

I'd take any help offered but I can see where you're coming from - my Mum used to ring me to see what I was having for my tea when I was pg (in case I 'forgot' to eat, presumably). My usual answer of 'whatever falls out of the freezer' wore a bit thin after a while. But I know she was only doing it as she cared

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ShinyHappyPeopleHoldingHands · 06/03/2007 13:27

Does migraine cause rabbit breath??

Yes you have MY sympathy.. migraines are pants.. but they affect the percentage of the population with the highest IQ too, allegedly...

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ludaloo · 06/03/2007 13:28

Gosh I'd love to have a family/ parents who offered to do anything let alone my washing if I was ill!! We have no family, so if someone is ill, we carry on regardless.
Try not to feel too resentful, It would be a hell of a lot worse if noone was there to care.

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ludaloo · 06/03/2007 13:30

rabbit...snap!! I had a very bad migraine last night too! Its crap isn't it!
I had luckily put kids to bed before the blurred vision and numb lips started...but went to bed in agony!! Dh works late most evenings, so it was luckily well timed!!

{{{HUGS}}} for you!

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LadyMacbeth · 06/03/2007 13:32

I think you should be a little more grateful tbh.

My mother works and has never had much time for me when I'm ill, being very much of the 'I won't come near you as I don't wish to catch it' type. Which is fair enough I suppose. I just hope I'm a more sympathetic mum. My MIL has alzheimer's and unfortunately can't do much these days even though she used to be the most brilliantly helpful woman when it came to looking after others.

So with two preschoolers and a self-employed dh, when I'm ill I just have to get on with it and I'm afraid I have no sympathy for you. So there.

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Rabbitbreath · 06/03/2007 13:43

ShinyHappyPeopleHoldingHands (good grief that was tiring - from now on I will just say Shiny!) - you had me rolling around laughing now!! About migraine causing rabbit breath!!!! hahahahahaa - sorry, but that's classic. Ach cute, I am laughing out loud now and baby started kicking - so precious!! thanks for the laugh - sure even baby enjoyed it!

And re highest IQ - great minds think alike .... fools never differ!

A

ps. I love your profile - especially the eating grapes in the aisles part ;---))

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Rabbitbreath · 06/03/2007 13:51

hi Ludaloo - yes, migraine is awful - I was blessed not to have these for years (used to get them all the time in school) and yesterday when I got to work and everything started blurring around me I was horrified - at first I thought it was because I looked into the light, but then everything started blurring more and I could not see on my screen. And then soon after the headache and nausea started - urgh - enough moaning ... at least it's better today.

I think I am just a bit stressed at the moment as I really miss my mom / family (as I said in previous message) and we are worried about our finances once I stop working when baby comes and we are concerned whether we will be good parents etc etc. These are times that you need your family around you to listen to your worries over a cup of coffee.

This is one of the reasons I started chatting on Mumsnet in the hope of making friends, to fill the void of my family back in South Africa.

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lou33 · 06/03/2007 13:57

you dont have to tell anyone, but at least you know they would help out

i dont tell anyone cos i know noone would!

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mumblechum · 06/03/2007 14:08

I didn't tell my mum I had cancer and had 2 weeks in hospital followed by chemo because she would have been straight down here getting under my feet (or as she'd see it, "helping")

She was well p'd off when she finally found out, but I would have felt the need to fill the fridge, clean the house etc before she came so didn't.

TBH, I can't stand anyone fussing over me, would much rather struggle on .

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ivelostmyboobsboohoo · 06/03/2007 14:12

god my PIL avoid us like the plague if any of us are remotely under the weather in case they catch it! i envy you that yours are bothered and worried about you.

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FunMumm · 06/03/2007 15:22

OK... back from shopping...

sunnysideup... my mum rang at 10am, she was just going shopping, did I need anything..
the fact that she didn't bring it down till 3pm felt like she was punishing me with her "thought you wanted to be alone" comment..

I know that I'm lucky with both sets of parents about willing to help me... but thats just it.. I didn't need any help.. the only thing they could have done was maybe plump up my pillows to be honest...

So let me get this right... lets say your ill, your needs are being met... everythings undercontrol... do you tell your DH to ring your parents to tell them that your ill and that you don't need them....

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2shoes · 06/03/2007 15:24

just read the op
no your not unreasonable but you are lucky. lucky to have family who want to help.

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piglit · 06/03/2007 15:35

I'd love to have parents nearby to help out. Or a decent set of in-laws.

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nogoes · 06/03/2007 15:40

No I agree with you FunMumm. My mil is like this she has to know everything, she gets annoyed if I go to the doctors without telling her this morning she phoned me to check how my mum is as she has been in hospital and I let slip that I was going to the GP this evening and she insists that I must call her as soon as I leave the surgery even though I am only going because I have an earache that won't shift!

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NightWotcher · 11/11/2022 00:19

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

antipodeancanary · 11/11/2022 00:47

Why did anyone tell your parents at all? You've been ill but not seriously. Now you are better. You didn't need help. So why are you telling them now? They've got to say something and 'oh dear' sounds a bit limp.

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