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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to get so cross at how dismissive PILs are of DH's work

8 replies

RosaLuxembourg · 06/03/2007 12:06

DH is a freelance journalist who specialises in fairly obscure stuff so most of what he writes goes in trade magazines, professional journals etc. However he does write more mainstream stuff for a number of national newspapers and occasionally has a piece in the one PILs read. This is the only time they ever see his work. Everytime this happens they make some disparaging comment about it and it is really winding me up because he is too nice to let them see how hurtful he finds it to have what he does dismissed in this offhand way' .
A few months ago we were with PILs when FIL said: Oh I saw your article this week, very boring I thought. To which MIL added: 'I didn't bother to read it because I was too busy.'
Last night DH was talking to his mum on the phone and she said 'I saw your article this week. It was very short and a bit obscure.'
What I don't understand is if they can't say anything nice why do they have to say anything at all? It is not as if he tells them when he has a piece in their paper, he gave up on that long ago.
Come on guys, am I being unreasonable? And if not should I carry on biting my tongue because next time his mum makes a cutting comment like that I am likely to snap and tell her what I think and how she doesn't deserve a son like my lovely DH.

OP posts:
TinkieWinkie · 06/03/2007 12:12

The next piece he writes in the paper they read should be
'How to deal with ignorant parents - from personal experience'

They sound horrible tbh - I'd have to say something!

warthog · 06/03/2007 12:28

nah i wouldn't hold back. snap away. sounds like they need a wakeup call.

kslatts · 06/03/2007 12:29

My parent have always supported my sister and I in everything we do and are proud of our acheivements. I can't understand why your dh's parent would act like this.

You are not being unreasonable at all.

sunnysideup · 06/03/2007 13:14

This is quite staggeringly awful of his parents! How CAN they speak to their own son like that?

I'm with tinkiewinkie, I really think I would HAVE to say something to them......bring them up short, make them face it and try to justify it if they can. I wonder what on earth their reasoning is (if any?)

Loshad · 06/03/2007 13:53

how veru unkind of them - you wonder what on earth makes them doi that to their own son - totally bizarre

RosaLuxembourg · 06/03/2007 15:15

Thanks guys. This has been going on for years - and they are a bit like that with the DCs too, never praise their achievements or appear to be proud of what they do. I am just afraid that if I start I will really let rip on everything I have bottled up over the years from DH overhearing FIL describing me to a friend as 'a bogtrotter' (I am Irish) to the fact that they caused a family crisis over the fact that I have not taken DH's name and our children have therefore got a hyphenated surname.

OP posts:
SimplerTimes00s · 09/11/2022 19:42

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ as it's a PBP

Pewterschmitt · 09/11/2022 19:44

YANBU, it’s so damaging when parents are like this, even to adult children.

Really reduces someone’s self esteem, I’d definitely have words with them in your shoes.

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