To pour an entire bottle of breastmilk on my sleepy baby?

[Iwasjustabouttosaythat]

Because I am so sleep deprived I forgot to put the lid on? I just put it to her lips and poured it all over her. Poor little thing.

And how many cups of tea can you make by pouring cold water over your tea? 3 in a row? Sigh.

Anyone care to share stupid things they've done due to sleep deprivation? Make me feel better about my wet, smelly baby.

Not got a baby and not sleep deprived, but in middle of seeing house and constantly having to tidy up for viewings- put all lotions, potions, shampoos, soaps etc from bathroom under our bed- DP looking for something to use in shower for best part of a week because i couldn't remember where it all was.

why the fuck I was putting spring onions in a vase.... blush

Mine are older now but when the youngest was a few weeks old I fell asleep on the toilet whilst waiting for his bottle to warm in the middle of the night. Fell forward wacked my face of the sink, knocked myself out. Came round bottle was too hot, went upstairs to tell DH he would have to sort it himself but he was asleep and so was the baby so drove myself to A&E. DH woke up to find blood all over the house, no me and the milk still sitting in a jug of water. I had broken my nose and had a huge egg on my head. I must have been quite inchorent in the hospital as they were about to send the police to the house as I must have made it sound like the baby was home alone.

He walked into the kitchen and asked me why the fuck I was putting spring onions in a vase....

My DTDs have just given me very funny looks as I was howling with laughter .

This is amazing. I'm crying with laughter.
I've done the 'one boob out' too. Poor Amazon delivery guy didn't know where to look.
Frequently spend ages searching my bag for my work swipe card (keys in my hand) to open up my front door. Then stand looking at both 🤔
The most dangerous was once, when DS was a few weeks old, the pils picked us up to take us out. I spent ages getting DS strapped in to his seat- but didn't strap his seat in to the car. Luckily within seconds I screamed 'STOP THE CAR' to a confused FIL and jumped out to fasten him in properly.

i have done milk thing too! poor dd...

i set fire to my oven recently as i forgot it was on..that was fun!

I popped an effervescent vitamin C tablet in my mouth and crunched, instead of dissolving it I had a LOT of foam pouring out of my mouth. To make it worse I was in the car!

Made tea and put it in the fridge carried the bottle of milk upstairs to dp who didn't say anything just looked at me like
I also got very excited at the first frog we had in the pond and ran inside to tell the kids and DP about it, but said goat instead.
Kids got upset i had 'lied' to them and DP again was

"Trying to breastfeed whichever child was closest in bed regardless of how many years ago they had weaned"

When DD was 5, well over a year since she had stopped feeding, she came and sat on my knee and sort of assumed the position and I started to get my boob out to feed her (I was still feeding younger DS, so not that unusual ) and she gave me a WTF look and "I don't have mummy milk! I am not a baby!"

(The saying she's not a baby bit was particularly ironic since she was technically still breastfed when she started school!)

I saw a man walking a sheep in the park and pointed it out to my husband who backed away slowly.
Also couldn't work out why greedy baby wouldn't accept bottle in the middle of the night then realised it still had the cap on. Also left empty buggy on the road and drove off. Did a lap round the block and picked it up much to neighbours amusement.

When DC 4 (or might have been DC5) I had him lying across my legs and was chatting to him. I was so tired I was talking nonsense. I was calling him random pet names. Little monkey, pickle pot, trouser face etc.
I blurted out 'little monkey fucker'

I disclosed my crime on MN at the time. One poster was very upset and expressed her concern that if I could call him that I was capable of virtually anything.

I lost count of the amount of times I choked on a teabag that I forgot to takeout of my cup.

"wow, these are really shit daffodils"

I parked my car at home and didn't put my handbrake on, god knows how long it had been there but a while later I stood up to move and saw what I thought was a random car in the middle of a junction. It took a few mins to realise it was my car!

I blurted out 'little monkey fucker'

MrsDV

Very similar to OP.
When my eldest was a baby I gave her her bedtime bottle, which she absolutely guzzled down, and put her down for the night. She wouldn't settle and started screaming. A lot of rocking and patting later and the screaming was getting louder. I just couldn't figure it out. DH came in and took her off me to see if he could do any better () Immediately asked why she was soaked through... Turns out the teat wasn't quite in the O-ring properly so although DD1 probably did drink some milk, most had been poured all over her. She was wet and hungry. I'm still not sure how I didn't notice her sleeping bag was as wet as if I'd dunked it in the bath!

Today (my youngest is 5) I was talking to my sister and getting more and more agitated, she asked what was up and I said that I had lost my phone.

She had just rung me on it and said "Look in your hand you fucking idiot".

I love my sister!

Have also done the "press the unlock button on car keys to open front door".....except my car at the time didnt have remote central locking. Ex DH was looking at me like I was a lunatic when I shouted "WHY WONT THE DOOR UNLOCK?!" ;o

I remember Little Monkey Fucker :o

Made me feel normal!

I don't think I locked my car for 2 whole months. I'd go back to it and think "shit I've done it again" but would still forget to lock it the next time.

DH asked me what time it was and I answered "ten to half past three." My brain couldn't function well enough to process "twenty past"

Sprayed hair spray on my armpits instead of deodorant.

Laughing at Little Monkey Fucker and "D"H has just reminded me of the time I called DD4 a twat

She pooed so I changed her then she pooed again immediately so I started to change her again and she pooed all over my hand. I said "Oh dont be a twat" in a very exasperated (not at all shouty) voice, and then burst into tears for calling my newborn a twat.

Was expressing furiously for my prem dd, she was still in nicu, I was such a state, I managed to get 60mls, was so happy I cried (was really struggling) then threw it down the sink?! (followed by wailing) that was bloody awful tbf, the relief when I switched to formula was immense.

Sorry! Off on a tangent there!

Congratulations on your twins op

Cheese in bin, rubbish in fridge.
Cold water on teabag.
Handed coffee to MIL and patronisingly warned her it was hot.
Handed dinner to MIL and I had cut it up

With firstborn DS I was so sleep deprived to the point that I changed his nappy one night , put it on, sleepsuit all buttoned back up and into crib .. only to have him screaming 5 minutes later . Picks him up, undo everything to find pee and poop all over him . . I had put the nappy on the wrong way and they had not stuck properly so a bath ensued around 4.00 in the morning

Sympathies to all those going through such things and [coffee] or too .. Its all in the past to me now

O and I thought I hadn't shut front door so reversed car to go and check hitting a neighbor's plant pot. Expensive mistake