AIBU to decline job offer

[Radoxqueen]

Im a single parent and have been looking for full time work for a couple of months since my last contract ended- I claim income support and child tax credits.

I've recently been to a interview which I passed and got the job starting The end of April, full time, 40 hours. It's quite a long commute away around 90 mins on public transport and catching busses.

The problem is my son has special educational needs along with behavioural problems and suspected dyspraxia. He's had a Psych Ed report in which they've outlined he needs quite a bit additional support outside school, such as occupational therapy, language therapy, behavioural therapy and camh's. Along with this when the class goes on school trips he usually has to stay home with me due to him not following instructions and health and safety.

He received DLA and im just wondering if it would really be unreasonable to decline the job and apply for carers allowance and focus on my son until I feel he's got the help he needed?

From my experience, it can take ages to get an EHCP. So I'd advise you to apply for one ASAP.

Also - and my local authority were bastards on this issue - it should be the EHCP case worker from the LA who contacts your sons healthcare professionals for their reports. It shouldn't be up to you. And they should give them plenty of notice to gather their reports (whereas my LA asked me to get the reports from OT, physio etc and gave me less than a week before the EHCP panel were due to meet and then turned me down due to insufficient evidence ).

Do ring IPSEA for advice, they're great.

In answer to your original question, YANBU! Normally my default position would be, if you've got the opportunity, take the job for your own sake and sanity if nothing else. But seriously, you've got so much going on here, it's so difficult, I think you'd be making the correct decision for you and your DS (and probably in the long run your other DC too). I'm also very [shocked] at the not being allowed on trips etc due to HS and failure to 'comply'! Whaaaaa? That cannot be ok surely? My DDs (NT, non SEN) had the fortunate experience of going to, what I now realise (since joining MN) was an amazing, probably atypical, mainstream primary school, where all kinds of abilities, SEN, and spectrum issues and everyone in between were not just 'allowed' but we're positively involved in EVERYTHING. Not just to their benefit but to the benefit of all of their peers. Anyway, I think you're making the right decision.

nanna50 they'd be in full time childcare from 7am to 6pm although my mum could pick them up from nursery around 5pm which I don't really like To ask due to her working full time and up at 5am .. voluntary work sounds like a great idea as my youngest starts nursery next month so will have some spare time!

Isitjustme this school has been very quick At noticing any problems and sorting weekly counselling and ed psych but I feel they do single him out, such as at the start of term he refused to enter the classroom so they left him outside the room and said to me 'there's over 200 pupils in this school and he's the only one refusing to enter, he'll soon learn' .. which I don't think was a nice thing to say.

radox worse than just not nice. Do you have any options in terms of other local schools that he would be better served at? I'd hate to be in your position where DS was treated as an irritation who will 'learn'

He only moved to this school may last year after we left his previous schools catchment area so don't believe moving him again would be much help

OP if both you and your children are going to be out of the house for at least 12 hours a day I imagine you would burn out pretty soon running the home with 4 children one with SEN, that's without school holidays and extra appointments. I would say YANBU to turn this job down, use your time to improve your employment opportunities, and maybe learn to drive, look for funding through disabled grants accessed via your child's DLA / charitys etc.

I did just that with a dysparic and dyslexic child. I was out of the house for 12 hours a day. I burnt out pretty quickly and I had a DH who was on hand to do pick ups etc. Don't underestimate the commute and how tiring it is. If you are using public transport there will inevitably be delays and days when it takes you 4 hours to get home. I cut down to a 4 day week and the odd day wfh. Would this be an option for you?

How were you managing to juggle everything in your previous job? Have your son's needs increased since then?

My sons Needs have definitely increased since then, and my previous job was quite near. Thank you all for your help I'm really considering declining this job and starting volunteering along with learning to drive. Also I've booked my son into a few different after school clubs such as judo, football etc to increase his motor skills and burn some energy off.

There's lots of other jobs around it's just general customer service and I'm in a good location so fingers crossed I can try again when I feel my son has Support.