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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU re house guests

30 replies

Vansandtracksandlego · 20/03/2017 11:55

If you stay as a guest at someone's house for the weekend, what time would you get up? And be ready to leave the house by? Assuming you'd just planned to spend the day together and didn't have any firm plans that required being at a specific place at a specific time.

My guest this weekend got up at 9.30 BUT then wasn't ready to leave the house until 2pm. I'd been up since 7.30am and ready by 8.30am.

AIBU for not wanting to spend my weekend waiting for guests to have looonnng baths, paint their nails, blow dry their hair?

If I'd known they would take that long I would've gone out - I could've got in a nice long dog walk & done my food shop in the time it took her to get ready ....

AIBU?

OP posts:
Waitingonasmile · 20/03/2017 11:56

I would expect a guest to be up by 10 and ready to leave by 11-11.30. 2pm is ridiculous unless hungover.

Original poster
Vansandtracksandlego · 20/03/2017 11:57

Should point out that the previous night wasn't a late one - we went to the pub for a quick dinner and were in bed by 10.30pm

OP posts:
Tobuyornot99 · 20/03/2017 11:57

People who take ages to get ready really annoy me, but I probably would have asked what time they'd like to go out, rather than just wait. It can't be that hard to say "will I walk the dog and nip to the shops, and we'll do something when I get back, or would you like to come, but we'll need to leave within the hour?".

Wishiwasmoiradingle2017 · 20/03/2017 11:58

Sounds like she was using you for the venue not the company!!

Original poster
Vansandtracksandlego · 20/03/2017 11:58

No one was hungover

OP posts:
Original poster
Vansandtracksandlego · 20/03/2017 12:00

Yes Tobu I need to be firmer ......

OP posts:
dowhatnow · 20/03/2017 12:00

Why didn't you ask her when she'd be ready?

Original poster
Vansandtracksandlego · 20/03/2017 12:03

Dowhatnow because it didn't occur to be it could take until mid-afternoon!

OP posts:
HollyBollyBooBoo · 20/03/2017 12:04

Ridiculous time to be ready and really rude!

I had an Aunt that did this and would expect me to look after her early rising child. Then aunt would surface from her bedroom about one ish and want breakfast etc - we'd had breakfast and lunch by that time! After the second stay that she did this I never invited her again.

Next time go over (in a breezy manner) what the plans are for the next day?

Original poster
Vansandtracksandlego · 20/03/2017 12:04

*me not be

OP posts:
MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 20/03/2017 12:08

I think it entirely depends on what the plans were. If there was no discussion or agreement then yabu.

If the plan was you would be off out at 8.30am and this was communicated and agreed in abvance yanbu.

EineKleine · 20/03/2017 12:28

Maybe she wouldn't have had a looong bath if she'd known you were waiting on her before walking the dog. I think you both need to talk more.

pointstaken · 20/03/2017 12:29

As a guest, I would ask what the plans are for the following day!

I have friends who are in bed until at least 11am on their day off. I know they get up a bit earlier when we are around, but I wouldn't force them to get up at dawn.
I have other friends who are gone for a jog with the dogs by 6am.

I think 9 to 9:30 is a reasonable time to be ready. It depends what you mean by being ready: for my grand-mother, it would mean being showered/ dressed and having read all the guide books, have her lunch and make an itinerary, so 2pm for her is not unheard of!

Eatingcheeseontoast · 20/03/2017 12:29

That would have driven me mad!

pointstaken · 20/03/2017 12:30

I do think that it's rude to have a bath when you are a guest!

Bluntness100 · 20/03/2017 12:32

I think you're being a bit unreasonable yes. If you have expectations for the day then discuss it the night before and agree plans.

They clearly didn't know you wished to go out in the morning and you clearly didn't know they wouldn't want to go out till the afternoon. So a lack of communication on both sides. Just agree in advance your plans for the day and then you can do whatever accordingly.

Gizmojo · 20/03/2017 12:42

Bit Hmm at the suggestion yabu - taking 4.5 hours to get up and ready for the day in someone else's house is taking the piss, whether there are agreed plans for the day or not. Unless, of course, you run a hotel?...

JonesyAndTheSalad · 20/03/2017 12:44

Well you need to set things in place with people like that OP. Say "We'll head out at 11 shall we?" and then if they say "Oh no that's too early" you can say "Well meet me at 3 then" or whatever.

Helenluvsrob · 20/03/2017 12:44

Why not communicate ?

WeAllHaveWings · 20/03/2017 12:50

If we were expecting to go out I would have had a discussion the night before about when we would leave, I would have done this whether I was the guest or the host. Why didn't you just ask her?

Ohyesiam · 20/03/2017 12:50

That would piss me right off. It's all about communication.

StudentMum92 · 20/03/2017 12:55

Did your guest even know that you were planning to do something? If you didn't have any specific plans, the guest could have assumed you were just spending time together in the house.

People need to be more specific; "I'm not sure what to do tomorrow but shall be ready for 10 and see where the day takes us?"

HadrianHadALongWall23 · 20/03/2017 12:57

Dont ever invite them to stay again, a relative has had terrible problems with other relatives staying and not getting up, expecting different food, wanting expensive takeaways, ruining items carelessly with their child...dont invite again...seriously :-)

EssentialHummus · 20/03/2017 12:58

Did your guest even know that you were planning to do something? If you didn't have any specific plans, the guest could have assumed you were just spending time together in the house.

Exactly this.

KoalaDownUnder · 20/03/2017 12:58

YANBU.

As a guest, I'd never faff about until 2 pm if my host was obviously up and ready to get moving. Just rude.

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