To worry about the birthday present I've just sent?

[Terabithia]

My partner's mother is very into buying gifts, which is lovely, but I find it very hard to know what to buy in return. She spends a small fortune on us, and often buys me expensive face creams, perfumes, etc. I often feel bad as firstly I can't afford to send such gifts in return, and secondly I find it really hard to know what to buy for her.

I don't know her well as she lives a long way away, but I like her and am keen to maintain good family relations! I've noticed that she can take offence at things very easily, and that she has set ideas about how things 'should be'. One of those things is the traditional idea that it should be the woman in a partnership who takes care of sending out cards, presents, etc., to the extended family.

However, over the past few years since I've been with my partner, he has sent her a birthday present such as perfume, and DD (from my previous marriage) and I have sent her something less expensive (this year a box of Milk Tray chocolates). She seems to be happy with this. This year, as usual, I attached a card signed by myself and DD to the chocolates.

This morning, she sent a text to my partner to thank him for the chocs. I remarked that I was glad she'd got them but it was a bit strange she'd texted him instead of me, and he casually mentioned that he hadn't bothered to send her anything this year.

So she thinks this £4 box of chocolates is from all of us, and I feel terrible about it. I know it's not all about money, but I do think she will feel offended. She would never say anything - she's too polite - but for some reason (I don't really know why as usually I don't much care what people think) it feels important that she has a good opinion of me.

Am I being unreasonable to feel a bit cross with my partner about the situation, and is there anything I can do to help rectify it?

Nobody wants dairy milk chocs do they really. Your dp sounds incompetent.

Text his mum back and say 'sorry about that. I'll remind DH later today and hopefully he will rectify the situation quickly. Did you have a nice birthday?'

As a token gesture chocolates are fine.

Why should the op apologise?

'sorry about that. I'll remind DH later today

Why on earth should OP apologise because her DH decided not to send his own mother a gift?

Agree, apologising says the op accepts responsibility and will henceforth be I'm charge of reminding dh to get a present for his mum.
No!

Poor MIL! I'm guessing she knows only too well that her son has forgotten/not bothered. You sound kind and assuming that you and your DH are a team, if it was me, I'd go and buy something nice plus a card for him to sign (i.e. make it clear it's from him and that the choccies were from you - incidentally I love Milk Tray altho I don't think they are as nice as the used to be but that's a whole other thread lol)) then get it in the post tomorrow. I would do that myself so that I would know that it had gone. Then I would text MIL and say something along the lines of 'would you believe it, just spotted parcel he thought I'd put in post and I thought he had'...or similar. I would do this because I love my DH and teams cover for each other if they can but more importantly I wouldn't want my MIL to be hurt if it was something that I could rectify reasonably easily. I wouldn't send flowers as they shout 'I forgot'...I would also have a very serious word with DH about never missing again!!!

p.s. a suggestion is some nice leather gloves or a posh scarf - both light to post. Bet she guesses that you've stepped into the breech but that isn't a bad thing, is it. A one-off doesn't mean that you have to do it every year!