Mistake letting 14 year old D babysit for family

[gtimama]

My 14 year old did a babysitting course so that she could babysit my nephews 3 kids. She got to know them and actually loves them very much. Got their pictures on her phone, shows them off to friends. Talks about funny things they do and say. Got asked to babysit Saturday afternoon. Looking forward to it, got plans for spending money on Sunday. On Thursday got message from sister that nephew doesn't want her babysitting for them anymore because his wife says his children were upset because they saw her on way to school on Thursday morning and she ignored them! Couldn't believe it. They didn't give her a chance to explain. She walks to school with her ipod on. If the children were calling her she would not have heard them. She can be sat next to me in the car with her ipod on and not hear me! When we told her she burst into tears. On talking to my nephew I explained about the ipod and his reaction was, 'she's got eyes hasn't she'. Am I being unreasonable to say unless they apologise to her then we won't be having much to do with nephew and family anymore? Sister upset by it all, but so am I.

what a over-reaction on their part...!!! Bless her, can I use her babysitting services??

Awww I'm not surprised she's upset. What a horrible over reaction. Perhaps she can find someone else to babysit for. Forgive me but they don't sound very nice.

there are some stupid people in the world

your dd sounds lovely, i am sorry she has been upset

They are being very rude, and ridiculous in expecting a 14 year old to behave like the children's mother. Would they have reacted like this if a child's teacher had ignored them? No, because they wouldn't have got away with it. She sounds like she is better off out of it, and if she advertises her services she could be onto a nice little earner there.

oh fgs,complete over reaction from your nephew and his wife imo.
Teens are notoriously bad at noticing things when out and about,especially little children,she wasn't expecting to see tham so ust tuned out any passers by.I do that aswel.
I suppose she could explain to the children and tell them to tap her next time to get her attention.They're being overly sensitive.

I'd be annoyed at their attitude especially after you've explained it to them.
I can't understand why they'd be so harsh, but I think I'd possibly email or write and tell them your dd is very upset, that she adores the children and was so looking forward to helping out and reiterate what happened with the ipod and give them a chance to calm down and respond reasonably.
If they came back with the same attitude I think I probably would distance myself from them, I wouldn't make a big point of telling them that you won't be having anything to do with them though. Just step back from them iykwim.

That is just over the top. I understand that his children may have been hurt and through she ignored them but as the adult he should have told them that that wasn't the case as she loves them very much and that he's sure there was a reason and called to find out what happened. I'm so sorry your daughter has been so hurt this must feel really bad she loves his children and he's accused her of not caring so unfair my heart goes out to her. I'd be the same as you and want nothing to do with him again but by husband would say to let the matter lie for a few days and see if he wakes up it could be that he's had a bad day and wanted someone to sound off at. If this is the case then he's very wrong to choose to children and a very very big slice of apple pie will need to be eaten with your daughter but as she loves his kids I'm sure that she would still like to look after them if he apologies and explains to his children that he was wrong.

Thanks for your replies. I'm new to this. Good to see that you think I'm not the one over-reacting, it's sometimes difficult to step back from a situation and look at it rationally when your so emotionally involved in it. My sister was looking after the 3 children that evening, so my daughter did actually speak to them and told them that she was very sorry that she had not seen them that morning and explained that she could not hear them because of the music playing in her ears. Now she's a bit worried about seeing them in future because she doesn't know how the mother is going to be with her.

They sound completely loopy. I know your DD is upset, but to be honest I think she's better off out of this babysitting arrangement. If this is how they react to her not noticing the children on her way to school then how on earth would they cope with any issues that came up while babysitting? But I know it won't seem that way to her at the moment, poor thing.

This could be an opportunity to branch out and find some other clients, though, and if she gets a few regular sittees with more sane parents she'll probably get very attached to them too.

In general I agree with airy. I'd have trouble biting my tongue but I think it's the right thing to do.

Poor love. When you are 14 you expect parents of children to be proper grown ups, it's such a shock when they are brattish and unreasonable. Make sure she knows you also feel they are at fault, not her. I would have been gutted by this at 14.

i think you are being a little unreasonable by saying unless they apologise then your not going to speak to them. i also think they are being unreasonable - have they never walked past someone and not seen them and then been told oh i saw you walking down so and so road the other day didn't you see me?

bonkers. and completely the parents fault. surely they could have said 'well that doesn't sound like x, she loves you to bits. let's phone and find out what happened so we can get it all sorted out...'
instead they phone up and act like babies. your daughter sounds too mature to deal with the likes of htem, tbh.

The only other thing that occurs to me overnight is that maybe one of the couple (say the mother) was having second thoughts about having her children babysat by a 14-yo and was looking for an excuse to get out of arrangement, so has latched onto this? If so then it's still cruel and unreasonable behaviour but perhaps less out-and-out loopy.