To think you shouldn't ask guests to wash up?

[LaundryQueenHatesBunfights]

BIL is coming over for dinner, nothing fancy. Earlier in the day I said I fancied a bath and asked DH if he could watch DS 15mo while I had one, but then I remembered BIL was coming over and wanting to relax without make up and in PJs after said it didn't matter.

DH's solution was for me to have my bath after dinner, he watches DS and to suggest BIL does the dishes and clearing up. I was 😮 and said we couldn't ask a guest to wash up, he said it was fine to ask BIL to do it and couldn't understand why I was shocked.

I have to admit that if I was someone's guest (literally can't remember the last time I was, mind you!) I would offer to help clear up but would be a bit shocked if they accepted.

What does everyone else think?

It's normal to get stuck in and help family clear up.

However, I think asking a guest (family or not) to do all the cleaning up while you both do other things is a bit much.

If your DH can't juggle your DS and the dishes, just leave them in the sink for later.

Asking is not the done thing, however my friends (let alone family) and I always muck in and help with the washing up. I thought this was fairly normal.

Speeds the process up and allows you all to get back to boozing chatting.

It's normal to help / get stuck in at friends / relatives.

Less usual for hosts to ask guests to was up while they themselves disappear to play with the baby and have a bath.

I can't see the problem with having your bath earlier, really.

It depends on the family member with me. Some expect you to help yourself to food, therefore I'd just wash up anyway, some expect to wait on you, therefore I'd offer and probably be turned down, and these are blood relations!

Asking them to do it is rude. A good guest would offer.