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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To sleep separately from my husband while I have morning sickness?

53 replies

Lalalax3 · 19/03/2017 09:52

I'm 8 weeks pregnant with DC2 and on meds 3x a day for severe nausea and sickness. Husband has possibly the worst case of chronic flatulance you've ever smelled, his farts frequently clear rooms. It's nauseating, sulphuric and literally sickening. Every night I have to share a duvet with this man and it's like sleeping in somebody's rectum. I wake frequently during the night and have to decide whether to be cold or pull the stinking duvet back over myself. And in the morning our room smells like a cesspit. Husband is also a mouth breather at night, and doesn't brush his teeth before bed. So I get warm gusts of morning breath all over me all night too.

I've tried opening windows. I've tried asking husband to drink less gassy beer. I've tried asking husband to brush his teeth before he goes to bed. But the issue remains.

This morning I took myself off to the sofa for a couple of hours and it was absolute bliss. Now I'm thinking I should just camp out there until my gag reflex sorts itself out.

AIBU? Oh and please don't helpfully suggest husband get medical assistance for filthy rectum, I've been there so many times.

OP posts:
miserableandinpain · 19/03/2017 09:55

Do it. I sleep in the spare room after dh falls asleeo for many of the same reasons as you and im 36 weeks. Sleep is precious

teacher54321 · 19/03/2017 09:55

That is the grimmest thing I think I've read on mumsnet. I can't imagine sharing a room with him at any time, let alone with morning sickness.

Lalalax3 · 19/03/2017 09:56

Tell me about it!

OP posts:
itsbetterthanabox · 19/03/2017 09:57

I think he should be the one sleeping separately. You need the bed. You are pregnant and he is causing your discomfort by not doing anything to solve these issues.

Hassled · 19/03/2017 09:58

Your sleeping arrangements are the least of your worries - that sounds absolutely bloody awful. If he's not cleaning his teeth at night then tooth decay isn't going to helping the smell - that's just gross. I'm surprised you managed to have the sex involved in conceiving this baby tbh. But you're the one who's pregnant, he's the one who's disgusting. Why can't he sleep on the sofa?

trashcanjunkie · 19/03/2017 09:58

Do what gets you through but do you have a spare room you could put a nice comfy bed in

Lalalax3 · 19/03/2017 09:59

No spare room, just my son's room. My sofa is nice and comfy though.

OP posts:
StewieGMum · 19/03/2017 10:00

You should be in the bed. He needs to sleep in the couch. After he sees a GP about his flatulence because that isn't normal at all. And no brushing of teeth is disgusting

Wando1986 · 19/03/2017 10:00

In all honesty if my husband refused to brush his teeth at night (and farted that bad he needed to sort his guts out, but wouldn't) he wouldn't be allowed back in the house.

How can you tolerate someone so gross that won't fix the problem?

Lalalax3 · 19/03/2017 10:00

I absolutely love sleeping on my own for above reasons, and dream of crisp Lenor-scented sheets.

OP posts:
JungleInTheRumble · 19/03/2017 10:02

This is clearly a case of ltb!

bibbetybobbetybooo · 19/03/2017 10:02

Def sleep separately. I didn't put up with something very similar and DH slept in the spare room. You need the bed!

(to be honest - I'd happily never share a bed with him again!)

stitchglitched · 19/03/2017 10:05

If your sofa is comfy your stinky husband can bugger off to it and leave you to sleep in peace. He sounds so disgusting I'm amazed you were able to get close enough to even conceive this baby!

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 19/03/2017 10:05

Is he drinking beer every day? You have bigger problems than sleeping arrangements, he sounds like a pig.

Cheby · 19/03/2017 10:09

Jesus wept. I think I would be sleeping in a separate house. This is absolutely grim.

And actually, if he has such little respect for you that he won't seek medical help for issues and would rather subject you to this experience, especially when pregnant, then I would be considering LTB.

Not quite the same but a few years ago my DH had a major snoring problem. I was working FT and getting up in the night to feed DD, then being kept awake all night by his horrendous snoring. We argued and argued about it, until we finally had a major row when I said I couldn't believe he would put his own embarrassment about seeing the GP ahead of me being made utterly miserable and unwell through lack of sleep. He was also an obnoxious grumpy bastard himself due to his own poor quality sleep and really unpleasant to live with.

He went to the GP, got diagnosed with mild sleep apnoea, got a CPAP machine and we all started sleeping again. He's since lost 2st and doesn't need the machine anymore. It's been so easily fixed and yet we were all miserablefor ages.

Trinpy · 19/03/2017 10:10

Why doesn't he brush his teeth before bed?? Isn't he worried about decay and all the dental work he's going to end up needing?

Anyway, yanbu. Dh and I started sleeping separately when I was pregnant with ds2 (who's now 1) and we liked it so much we can't go back to sharing now!

Violetcharlotte · 19/03/2017 10:11

This sounds awful and I really don't think I could live with someone like this. I know people have illnesses that can make them smelly, but the fact he is refusing to do anything about it is concerning. The total lack of consideration for you makes me think he must be a bit of a pig tbh. What's he like aortas from this?

witwootoodleoo · 19/03/2017 10:12

He can sleep on the sofa until he learns to clean his teeth, take some decent probiotics and get himself to the GP. You might remain nauseous throughout pregnancy so don't set a precedent by sleeping on the sofa or you'll be there at 40 weeks

PeaFaceMcgee · 19/03/2017 10:20

He should be mortified and offering to take the sofa, getting medical help, or at least using fart pants and a sleeping bag.

Lalalax3 · 19/03/2017 10:21

Oh trust me I know I can feel nauseous throughout, last time I had HG until the day DS was born.

OP posts:
Babymamamama · 19/03/2017 10:24

Kick him out of the bed. How on earth did you manage to fall pregnant with this charmer?

Lalalax3 · 19/03/2017 10:25

I initiated sex before he'd eaten his dinner, DUH

OP posts:
itsbetterthanabox · 19/03/2017 10:47

What does he eat?
Also you haven't answered why he can't sleep on the sofa?

Lalalax3 · 19/03/2017 11:17

Well he's a foot taller than me so I fit on it much better.

OP posts:
redexpat · 19/03/2017 11:21

I may regret asking this but what are fart pants?