To be annoyed when drivers stop to let each other out?

[CrohnicallyPregnant]

To clarify- I'm talking about the scenario where the road is flowing quite happily but someone decides to slow right down or stop to let someone in/out of a side road. Or they haven't observed what's happening around and cause an obstruction rather than helping!

Twice today it has caused chaos that I got caught up in.

First one, road bends to the right but there is a junction at the corner. A car stopped to let someone in/out, but then no one started driving again because a learner was confused as to whether they were supposed to go or not. And just as someone did start to move, a motorbike overtook so the stalemate started again.

The other one, someone stopped to let a van out of a side road, but by stopping they obstructed temp traffic lights. The van couldn't pull out because of the queue for the temp lights so even once the lights turned green no one could move.

Anyway, AIBU to think that while it's nice and polite to leave side roads clear so someone can pull out if traffic is heavy, or if you are turning in to indicate and slow down early giving the other drivers plenty of time to react, you do need to consider what else is going on around you! And if someone doesn't pull out into a gap you created, you shrug and carry on (carefully) because there could be a good reason why they haven't pulled out?

I wait with my children on a busy road and we appreciate it when cars stop for us - Definitely A Good Thing. In many places the traffic never really stops so its much safer when a car purposely lets you cross.

I often stop to let cars out of side streets when the traffic is quick flowing. If noone let them out they'd never get out!!

I bet the OP leaves in the south East!

Where I live, there is a shopping area, directly in front is a very busy road, with no pedestrian crossings, or anything to help pedestrians cross, so when you cross with your kids, you literally take your life in your hands, and hope somebody is kind enough to stop to let you cross. The road, can be very busy at times, so you have to rely on the courtesy of drivers to stop. There is no other way, we have lobbied for a crossing there but to no avail.

YANBU the second scenario would wind me up. Did the person driving the car waving the van out not think that there were other cars behind them possibly causing a hold up in the roadworks? They've just been through the temporary traffic lights so they must realise the other line of traffic might need to also go through

I'm with you actually OP! My massive bug bear is cars which stop to let you out when there is nothing behind them, or even worse, when you are a pedestrian crossing the road, and then you have to rush across, when you could have crossed at a normal pace had they just looked in their rear view mirror and seen there was no other traffic! Obviously if you're stuck getting out of a junction it is nice to be let out, but not when it causes problems for everyone else.
What annoys me more though are those people who make no signal that they are letting you out, they just slow down a teeny bit, and then get really p'd off that you don't pull out!
FWIW I do actually let other people out of junctions, but I make sure I hang back enough for it to not make it difficult for them, and am aware of where other traffic is around me.

Ok I added a few bits on the second diagram to make it clearer. Arrows are showing where people are wanting to drive. Yellow triangle things are traffic cones showing where the road works are. And the temp lights are now green because they changed first.

The 'chaos' was caused because the temp lights are synced to the perm lights, so there was a knock on effect to the main junction. This happened on the road to my work, so I heard people complaining about the lights about half an hour later.

Like I said in the OP, it is nice and polite to let people out in heavy traffic, but you need to consider what is going on around you. If the 'silly driver' had looked in his/her mirrors, they would have wondered why the traffic wasn't moving when the temp lights were green, seen the car behind blocking the roadworks, and moved up just a little. They would even have still been able to leave space for the van to pull out!

PS not south east.

Not at all unreasonable! I get very annoyed as well! I once had a car stopped at 40mph road to let one car out of the junction. Why?! Why?!

I love letting people out and try to beat my personal best which so far is letting 7 cars out on the 20 minute journey to work, that made a v happy start to the day :)

I sort of think in backed up traffic the 1 and 1 rule is fair if each car let's one person out its reasonable

In moving traffic it's just not ok and ridiculous

A counterpoint to those saying about being courteous what about being courteous to the people behind you?

Currently outside my children's nursery beelzebub himself has designed some temporary traffic lights and decided to recreate hell on earth in conjunction with the experience of trying to "nip" around ikea....people only move successfully if everyone responds to what the lights tell you to do.....

However there is always one that let's someone out from a side road at the worst possible moment....this then backs everyone up and quite litersely will add twenty minutes to getting through the liguts if youare at the back.....why is it more fair to the person let out (who would wait 3 minutes to pull out due to the setup) so someone else can feel all smug and self righteous when I then have to explain yet again to my team that although being this late due to temporary traffic lights sounds ridiculous....it's entirely true

Not leaving earlier because some days everyone operates intelligently and all is well (except for lucifer by the side of the road doing a little dance at the lights existence) and plus two dc's under 5 and a full time job.....yeah any spare time in the morning is spent on sleeping or cuddles not on waiting for some smug arse to let someone out so they can spend the rest of the day feeling superior

(Ahem sorry I really hate those traffic lights )

Yanbu. It's deadly .

I refuse to move if it's their right of way. Not my problem if they don't understand the highway code.

No YANBU! Drives me mad! I don't remember this happening 5-10 years back but it suddenly seemed to appear. Slow-moving traffic? Common courtesy. Stopping unexpectedly in free-flowing traffic? Absolutely not. Where did that come from?

round here people routinely stop for cars coming on the main road from the right where they would have to routinely wait for a gap in the traffic usually.

It's okay but the people from the side roads alway drive onto the main road where there is a gap or not and block the other way. It's just an accident waiting to happen but they just do it every day (school run drivers).

Most people on the main road leave gaps so they can get in but they just barge in where there is a place or not.

it's frustrating and dangerous but i expect they would see themselves in the right.

Motorbikes come unexpectedly so beware when doing anything unconventional, by the same token there are some sideroads which people will never exit without the altruistic roaduser

If drivers don't stop to let children cross here then half the primary school intake wouldn't actually be able to get to school until past 9am.

Yesterday morning I was at a small roundabout, indicating to go right, a stream of cars coming from the right, about 5 cars in, a young girl stopped and flashed me to let me go round..... I couldn't believe it, I just sat for a second but she flashed me again waved her arm as if to say go!?!

I was embarrassed for her and the frustrated drivers behind her.

There was a programme on insurance fraud and "flash for cash" came up. They flash you to let you go and then crash into your car and deny they were letting you out. Then they claim for bogus injuries. I'm a bit careful if someone lets me go if it's not where I'd expect.

Now your second diagram makes sense. Yes that was silly on the 'kind' driver. But generally i always let people out if safe as otherwise people would get no where in the mornings. I see it as my 'good deeds' on my way home from the school run. but bloody hate it when I'm in a rush on the way to school

I stop when I can when I see children trying to cross. Why wouldn't you?

My driving instructor warned me to never ever do this in a built-up area as you had absolutely no way of knowing what another driver might do.

Latest madness I have encountered is traffic on a roundabout stopping to let drivers out of other exits, thereby grinding the whole roundabout to a halt instead of keeping the traffic moving.

*I stop when I can when I see children trying to cross. Why wouldn't you?

My driving instructor warned me to never ever do this in a built-up area as you had absolutely no way of knowing what another driver might do.*

My driving instructor told me the same and that moreover you should never wave a pedestrian to cross the road for the same reason.

I was sharply reminded of this recently when I did not heed this advice. Was coming out of nursery carrying toddler. Early evening and completely dark. In industrial area and not fully streetlit. A car stopped and driver waved indicating we should cross the road. As we did the car behind him (who it seems hadn't seen why the one in front had paused and was irritated) suddenly overtook at high speed and very nearly hit us. I had to dodge out of the way very suddenly. The car actually brushed my coat and bag - it was that close. Very very shaken.