Friend not allowed to play due to odd remark.

[lessthanBeau]

If a friend banned your child from their house for 3 weeks as a punishment because her child said that your child said it was becoming a habit visiting them every Monday. Friend didn't actually hear the conversation, so only has her 7 yr olds word about how it was said or meant, to go on, What would you think/say?

Would ybu to tell her to shove her friendship where the sun don't shine or go along with said punishment?

The point of the punishment is to make sure he doesn't take the visit for granted.

I think she seems to have taken for granted the fact her DS only has one pal!

I don't understand!

So, your sil and her ds go every Monday for tea and a play?

Her ds said it's a habit and now they're banned, is that right?

The woman is a bloody fruitcake.

I'd suggest to my Sil that she should encourage Dn to make some new friends and stop going over there every Monday.

Your SIL shows up on this woman's doorstep every week for a cup of tea, yet the woman is the one taking the piss?? You all sound like 7 year old's, tbh.

Maybe there has been a miscommunication, the lady seems to have taken it the wrong way. An open conversation should clear things up!

Presumably your SIL & nephew have been invited??

So your nephew said that it was becoming a habit & his friend's mum took it as him not being appreciative of going?

I can get that, but probably would have just made excuses to skip it for a couple of weeks & maybe not do every week in future.

Thing is are your SIL & this woman at crossed purposes-your SIL thinks that they are friends & the other woman does it for the kids?

That's totally weird, why would you punish a child so they don't take a visit for granted. That's as weird as it gets. I wouldn't want my kid to go there for the simple fact she is strange.

Sounds as though your Sisters friend feels unappreciated, and your Dnephew said something that made her feel as though she was being taken the piss out of. 3 week ban is odd, I would just back away in that scenario

Habit? Odd word. I would also take that to mean a bit the norm and that it wasn't really appreciated.

I agree, if she felt it was to be expected, then yes just say sorry not tonight, no big deal, but she actually made a point that it was a ban as a punishment. Her and her son were punishing my dn for a remark that he may or may not have even made.
Her friend definitely is weird, she's always criticising dn and sil is always having to tell him off, she can sense sil weakness and that she wants to be friends with this woman, unfortunately sil has served her purpose so now can be treated like dirt but sil just can't see it. Luckily she's had enough gumption to say no for the moment about going there again.
dn has other friends, and the punishment has ended up only affecting her own child.
Cookie sil friend has banned sils DS from going to their (friends)house after school for 3 weeks.

I know what I'd be saying to anyone who told me they were teaching my child a lesson!
I'll show her this thread and that it is weird!

They're definitely friends, Xmas presents, days out etc..

When sil tells me things that have been said, it doesn't seem like she's much of a friend in return, I certainly wouldn't expect any of my friends to behave in such a way.

They were always invited, sil would never just impose herself on anyone.
Yes the kid said that about teaching him a lesson.
I go to my friends most Fridays after school, it's a regular thing, if my DD said oh we regularly go to friends house on a Friday, I can't see my friend saying you're taking us for granted you're banned for 3 weeks.

Everything about this is extremely weird.

Who died and made your SIL's "friend" boss?! How bloody outrageous. As other have said your SIL should have nothing further to do with that batshit woman.

It does sound weird but I wonder if its the whole story?

Do theytake it in turns to get to each other house? Perhaps the mother is getting a bit fed up with hosting...
I host a lot and my DCs love it and most of the time some do I. But its a total ball-ache hassle cleaning-up, mediating(sometime), cooking etc, I do have lots of friends who host so it feels balanced but some people will never have the DCs round but are very happy to hang out at mine, not bring anything, end up staying for tea etc - it does get a bit tedious. If this is one of those cases then maybe its a passive-aggressive way to say she's a bit fed up with the regular hosting.. not very good communication on her part, but sort of understandable if its not reciprocated...

I don't think it's because she's fed up of hosting, there is another friend with a girl the same age and two younger boys, and they all go together, so the 3 mum's and all the kids , only dn was told he was being banished because of said remark, not sure what the actual wording was but regular, habit, customary, was the gist of it, and she didn't actually hear him say it, it's just the say so of her own son, so no-one really knows what context it was.