IABU to want to see my new BF on Mother's day?

[chickenwire17]

NC for this, but am a long term user.
I have two DSs - 13 and 10 and am a single mum. My own mother died 7 years ago. I find every Mother's day hard - I miss my Mum, and don't want to sit in a restaurant surrounded by women my own age with their Mums and MILs. My boys, once they have given me the lovely cards and chocolates etc, are very reluctant to do anything with me (I like the idea of going for a walk, but if I enforce it, it invariably becomes a fractious nightmare, especially with the eldest, who can be quite challenging). They then get progressively more bored as the day wears on, as all their friends are usually doing 'Mum' things.
This year, my new BF would like to see me on that day (although he has totally left it up to me, as he recognises the importance of the day). Now I know that Mother's Day is really about the children, but mine really don't seem very fussed about it. I have approached their dad (with whom I have a good relationship) to see if he will have them, and he considers me to be selfish in not wanting to spend the day with my boys (I would love to spend the day with them; if it was a happy, enthusiastic time!)
IABU to choose to spend the day with my BF, if both boys are happy with that? I would obviously see the boys first thing. wise MNetters, what do you think?

If it would work for your boys, and it's what you'd other, why not?
I think these conventions are just another easy to get is to spend money, very commercial and naf. Every day should be mother's day, we' re the centre of the family!

So your boys and ex h don't make much of an effort for mothers day and YOURE the selfish one? Jesus christ. YANBU.

I see it as a day to appreciate the fact i am a dm and encourage my dc to do things as a family - sending them off is potentially telling them your relationship isn't that important imo. .

It's Mother's Day. Not Christmas Day. Card, breakfast together job done.

OP what would you normally do on a Sunday?

Mother's Day is such a non event. I doubt I'll even get a card and I certainly wouldn't expect my kids to spend a day doing "mother" things

mommagee on a Sunday the boys are usually with their Dad, so I do my own thing.
It's been really interesting reading everyone's comments and opinions. Since I broached the subject with the boys they do now want to do something, so I will aim to spend time with them in the morning and see if BF is around in the afternoon. Of course, there is more to it than just this one day (isn't there always?). I deliberately haven't dated for years, as DS1 has needed all my time and emotional resources. However, this chap popped up out of the blue and I am REALLY keen on him! So I have a lot of anxieties about whether I can juggle the needs of everyone or whether the issue will be taken out of my hands due to BF dumping me!

If your BF dumps you because you're spending Mother's Day (or any day!) with your kids then I don't think you are losing out!

Sorry if I read that wrong.

I think people make too big a deal of Mothers day. In our family, it's just a nice day, we give/receive mothers day gift/cards, then the day is as normal. We don't necessarily go for a meal that day because it's too packed and expensive everywhere, we go the week after or not at all. Just do what you want, it's your day.

Definitely make time for yourself, OP. Your DS will get used to it. If you're happy, then you kids will be happy too (as long as bf is introduced to Dc carefully).

Sundays could be quality time for you and BF.