To think this is rude?

[lizzieoak]

I was having a very late lunch in the staff room & the boss came in & sat down with her lunch. I hadn't been expecting anyone else to eat so late so had turned off one bank of fluorescents as it was a lovely sunny day and the room was too bright. I cheerily explained and offered to turn the lights on.

Boss glowers at me and says "I can't understand anything you're saying". We're from the same area and only perhaps a very slight difference in our accents due to class.

I feel like that's a powerplay- either that or she's just f**ing rude. When did people stop saying "pardon?" or "sorry". If we met socially there'd be a chance someone would respond "that's a bit rude", but as she's my boss and we're constantly under threat of a negative performance review and non-renewal of contract, I can't point out that I don't feel comfortable w her taking to me like that.

Does that phrase bother other people, or is ir acceptable now?

Thanks, and I do see your point. She generally seems harried, and I think she is kept hopping. She's good at sending out emails saying how much she appreciates us, but in general, in person, she can be curt (though not normally quite that rude). It may be "just her manner" but as my manner is being pleasant and building consensus even when I feel like telling people to fuck right off, well, I get tired of it and wish people would develop some damn social skills!

Cultivate a raised eyebrow, it's extremely useful in this kind of situation...

Sounds like this is her normal manner compounded perhaps by a tetchiness that goes and in hand with a low blood sugar?

A girl ive been training at work today told me 'yeah but yorkshire accents arent great' and then did a really insultingly coarse impression of one ....im from Yorkshire ....

People do come out w some pretty amazing things. I was talking to the boss' secretary about some files. There was a sticky referring to brown files and blue files stuck on the end of the filing cabinet. So I say something about the brown & blue files and she says "what brown files?!? Oh, you mean the green ones." Looks my outfit up and down (she only ever wears large capey black things) & says "are you colour blind?"

Sometimes at work I think I exist only so that people have someone to be rude to!

Oh, I wasn't trying to excuse the rudeness, just to make sense of it because it's SO out of line and OTT for the situation.

Oh, I know Vigby, sorry if I sounded grumpy. Just so annoyed as it's taking advantage of being the boss as she knows I can't respond.

Boss or not, I would have to have a word. Where I work that is certainly possible and wouldn't lead to anything other than an apology I'm sure. Just because she's 'in charge' doesn't mean she can get away with murder!

It's bullying, I couldn't work somewhere like that..

It sounds rude. What happened after that comment, did you talk further?

Might it be that she couldn´t hear you properly due to a hearing problem? I had a dept head at work who sometimes would walk off when I was talking to him, or would seem abrupt or rude (he could have made the kind of comment the person you work with did). After a couple of years of working with him, it came out one day that he has tinnitus. He didn´t like to tell people about it because he hated the idea of people making a fuss. It really explained a lot of his previous behaviour and it made me a lot more tolerant of him from that point on. I wish he would tell other people.

Must admit I say this to my husband after hundreds of conversations about his mumbling/speaking very quickly, but I wouldn't ever say it to anyone else!! Very rude.